Funny Nelson Muntz Quotes & Sayings

There's something unrefined about a reading woman, they always reek of the lamp. How can she grow up to be a lady if she's always got her nose
in a book?
Granny Rudin — Florence King

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with. — Jill Shalvis

We have to dedicate more time to our health and well-being than we devote to worrying about our "social" status. — Jesse Jacoby

When children want something they can't have, adults usually respond with logical explanations of why they can't have it. Often, the harder we explain, the harder they protest. — Adele Faber

As my own father was sick, and miserably tied to his invalid's chair, he would have been abandoned had not an old servant performed for him a so-called service of love. My mother gave parties while he was perishing in solitude, and amused herself while he was suffering bitter agonies — Arthur Schopenhauer

Independence has made us Soft — Houari Boumediene

The line between gambling and investing is artificial and thin. The soundest investment has the defining trait of a bet (you losing all of your money in hopes of making a bit more), and the wildest speculation has the salient characteristic of an investment (you might get your money back with interest). Maybe the best definition of "investing" is "gambling with the odds in your favor. — Michael Lewis

It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York. — Jonathan Ames

Satan, on the contrary, is thin, ascetic and a fanatical devotee of logic. He reads Machiavelli, Ignatius of Loyola, Marx and Hegel; he is cold and unmerciful to mankind, out of a kind of mathematical mercifulness. He is damned always to do that which is most repugnant to him: to become a slaughterer, in order to abolish slaughtering, to sacrifice lambs so that no more lambs may be slaughtered, to whip people with knouts so that they may learn not to let themselves be whipped, to strip himself of every scruple in the name of a higher scrupulousness, and to challenge the hatred of mankind because of his love for it
an abstract and geometric love. — Arthur Koestler

French fries kill more people than guns and sharks, yet nobody's afraid of French fries. — Robert Kiyosaki