Funny Mathematics Quotes & Sayings

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse. — Dylan Moran

A place that measures change in terms of centuries is the saddest place to live in as far us you are a live. — Auliq Ice

Belief is blissful. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Our coherent extrapolated volition is our wish if we knew more, thought faster, were more the people we wished we were, had grown up farther together; where the extrapolation converges rather than diverges, where our wishes cohere rather than interfere; extrapolated as we wish that extrapolated, interpreted as we wish that interpreted. — Eliezer Yudkowsky

Resolve never to criticize or downgrade yourself, but instead rejoice that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. — Elizabeth George

You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least. — Jane Austen

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers

I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning. — Marc Maron

As damaging as the obsessive emphasis on testing often proves to be for kids in general, I believe that the effects are still more harmful in those schools in which the resources available to help the children learn the skills that will be measured by these tests are fewest, the scores they get are predictably the lowest, and the strategies resorted to by principals in order to escape the odium attaching to a disappointing set of numbers tend to be the most severe. — Jonathan Kozol

I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and literature for two years. After two years I passed an examination with the result I have a teaching certificate for Latin and Hungarian for the lower classes of the gymnasium, for kids from 10 to 14. I never made use of this teaching certificate. And then I came to philosophy, physics, and mathematics. In fact, I came to mathematics indirectly. I was really more interested in physics and philosophy and thought about those. It is a little shortened but not quite wrong to say: I thought I am not good enough for physics and I am too good for philosophy. Mathematics is in between. — George Polya

It may be appropriate to quote a statement of Poincare, who said (partly in jest no doubt) that there must be something mysterious about the normal law since mathematicians think it is a law of nature whereas physicists are convinced that it is a mathematical theorem. — Mark Kac

Mathematics education is much more complicated than you expected, even though you expected it to be more complicated than you expected. — Edward Griffith Begle

We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of 'proving theorems.' Is a writer's job mainly that of 'writing sentences? — Gian-Carlo Rota

I was brought up on rock-'n'-roll. It was sort of funny because I couldn't get interested in anything else - I tried and tried but I couldn't get into science ... or mathematics, I just cut myself off from anything else there was to get interested in. — Bette Midler

I have never seen more Senators express discontent with their jobs ... I think the major cause is that, deep down in our hearts, we have been accomplices in doing something terrible and unforgivable to our wonderful country. Deep down in our heart, we know that we have given our children a legacy of bankruptcy. We have defrauded our country to get ourselves elected. — John C. Danforth

I guess I can put two and two together."
"Sometimes the answer's four," I said, "and sometimes it's twenty-two ... — Dashiell Hammett

Amazing how spending some money, especially when you haven't got it, can perk you up. — Jane Green

The whole journey of life has been broken down into bits: days! Day by day we live life! Day by day we live and leave something behind; something good or something bad! Something mediocre or something noble! Until you know how to use your day, you may end your days and ponder over your days; how you used them and how you wasted them! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

The apex of mathematical achievement occurs when two or more fields which were thought to be entirely unrelated turn out to be closely intertwined. Mathematicians have never decided whether they should feel excited or upset by such events. — Gian-Carlo Rota

Just so you know," I begin, "when they say 'Once upon a time' ... they're lying. It's not once upon a time. It's not even twice upon a time. It's hundreds of times, over and over, every time someone opens up the pages of this dusty old book. — Jodi Picoult

I think this is what we must not lose sight of, present a confident, positive and optimistic platform for our country's future in which this Party appeals to the centre ground of British politics. — Nicky Morgan

Choose to be happy, because you always have the choice. — Auliq Ice