Funny Marital Quotes & Sayings

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes. — Garrison Keillor

Hubby,
At the pool. If I don't return by nightfall, it's your marital duty to rescue me. If it goes that late, this means I've passed out on a lounge chair in Vegas in summer so my advice is to stock up on aloe vera before you launch the rescue effort.
Lexie
Walker stared at the note thinking that Alexa Berry ... Strike that. Alexa Walker was fucking funny. — Kristen Ashley

Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the room. You want to make your move before the opponent does, because the first person to stomp from the room receives valuable Argument Points that can be redeemed for exciting merchandise at the Marital Prize Redemption Center. — Dave Barry

Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing. — Jack Paar