Funny It Professionals Quotes & Sayings

I don't aim it at anybody specific, I don't aim my characters to make old people laugh or young people or professionals or blue collar, just whatever I think is going to be funny and it just so happens that. — Jeff Dunham

I'm not a huge shopper. I love looking good - obviously, on the golf course I like looking sharp, that's for sure. I'm just not into knowing brands. — Lexi Thompson

I drink Coke-zero while I score coke from an honors student in Huntington Beach. — Kris Kidd

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel: As ye deal with my contemners, so with you my grace shall deal; Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel, Since God is marching on. — Julia Ward Howe

Miss? Miss Phryne? Are you all right?' 'Come in, Dot. I'm fine. Some son of unmarried parents just tried to kidnap me.' 'What did you do with the body, Miss? — Kerry Greenwood

It may not be as dramatic or funny to make a movie about a woman who loves both her job and her family, but that would be a better reflection of reality. We need more portrayals of women as competent professionals and happy mothers - — Sheryl Sandberg

I think autoerotic asphyxiation is one of the dumbest things in the whole universe, right up there with gay republicans. — David Levithan

The general systems of money management today require people to pretend to do something they can't do and like something they don't. It's a funny business because on a net basis, the whole investment management business together gives no value added to all buyers combined. That's the way it has to work. Mutual funds charge two percent per year and then brokers switch people between funds, costing another three to four percentage points. The poor guy in the general public is getting a terrible product from the professionals. — John C. Bogle

I hate watching people blow all operational security, and spew their guts like a teenage burglar, drunk in a bar. We're professionals, for Christ's sake, and she's just a prole. — Bruce Sterling

I trained my son to be a puppeteer since he was a little boy. — Stan Freberg

Then come get her furry ass. Your animal teleported directly beside Vane a minute ago. And now she won't stop snuggling up to him. I guess you missed the part where the beast started crushing on my mate at the lake? He — Setta Jay

Mr. Acme comments that the new foodservice professionals in the cafeteria are two-headed carnival escapees and probably also wanted convicts. He expresses his deep conviction that the names they gave him are aliases and promises that if he finds one more cat whisker in his chicken almandine, he will hand them over to the police, whom, he is sure, will be glad to have them back. — Molly Meadows

In life, toughness and roughness go together. — Auliq Ice

Architecture is life, or at least it is life itself taking form and therefore it is the truest record of life as it was lived in the world yesterday, as it is lived today or ever will be lived. — Frank Lloyd Wright

The man who coerces another not to eat fish commits more violence than he who eats it. — Mahatma Gandhi

Imagine, for example, that you're walking into a church. To be admitted through the front door, you're forced to sign a waiver that says, "I'm a sinner and by stepping into the room today I acknowledge that fact. — John Zahl

A true writer has a moral duty to uplift humanity. — Debasish Mridha

I just want to be known as a very normal person and be treated as that and be able to walk down the street like anyone else. — Michael Schumacher