Jenny Mollen Quotes & Sayings

The majority of our relationship took place over the phone, saving me tons of calories in unswallowed semen. — Jenny Mollen

I don't think that crazy should have a negative connotation - it just means that you're fun. I think that crazy is just a term that boring people use to describe fun people. — Jenny Mollen

My parents ... are more like cats. They accidentally had a litter of kittens, and then emotionally moved on to whatever ball of yarn rolled past their line of sight. — Jenny Mollen

I need everyone to love me. My feelings of inadequacy and lack of parental attachment have made me one of those sick bitches who can't tolerate being ignored. My parents say all the right things when they are pretending to listen to me. But the truth is, they are more like cats. They accidentally had a litter of kittens, and then emotionally moved on to whatever ball of yarn rolled past their line of sight. When self-obsessed people breed, they make empty people like me who spend the rest of their time on earth trying to gain the love and approval they didn't get as children. This doesn't excuse my behavior. It's just to say, if my parents had actually noticed me, I probably wouldn't care so much about whether everyone else on the planet adored me. Unfortunately, I'm a bottomless pit of need. — Jenny Mollen

Throughout my childhood, my parents dropped me off at a multitude of therapists' offices in hopes that I'd avoid growing up to be the kind of asshole who writes books about them. Also because it was sometimes easier than finding a nanny. — Jenny Mollen

Before you meet the love of your life, there's usually one guy you date that you try to convince yourself is him. Let me save you some time: He's not. — Jenny Mollen

I think, as a woman and as somebody in the entertainment industry, we have to be careful what we're putting out there and what we're trying to say. — Jenny Mollen

I just want everyone to like me. That's my main flaw. — Jenny Mollen

I surround myself with bizarre people. They're more fun to write about. — Jenny Mollen

It's always just a matter of what someone is willing to see and what someone is willing to ignore. I think we are all guilty of overlooking things if it suits our own agenda. But whenever we do, we are always setting ourselves up for disappointment. — Jenny Mollen

..reading your ex's horoscope every week isn't going to help you control his life. No, you need to hide in his bushes, break into his email, or kidnap his dog if you want to effect any real change. — Jenny Mollen

I think the power of persuasion would be the greatest superpower of all time. — Jenny Mollen

Something about having been with the same man made me feel especially close to her-like she and I had a shorthand that only people who'd had the same penis inside them could understand. — Jenny Mollen

Indulge your inner sociopath. — Jenny Mollen

My parents have been married multiple times each, so the idea of being committed to somebody was scary. — Jenny Mollen

I was never the girl who yearned for children. I pretended to be interested in other people's kids, but that was obviously just an act. — Jenny Mollen

Crazy" is just a word boring people use to describe fun people. And I am really, really fun! — Jenny Mollen

I've always gravitated toward men who sort of kind of eclipsed me in some way. And I think that it's because I have this need to be better. — Jenny Mollen

At 41 and a half weeks pregnant, I started to have second thoughts about becoming a mother. — Jenny Mollen

I like you just the way I am. — Jenny Mollen

Tell this guy to eat a hundred-calorie pack of dicks. — Jenny Mollen

As an actress, or actr-ish, I'm jealous of everyone, regardless of gender or age. Sometimes parents will ask me how they go about getting their kids into acting, and my first thought is never, Oh, how cute!

It's always, Fuck your kid! I will fucking cut your kid! If they think they are just gonna waltz into a business that has bled my soul dry for over a decade and snag an NCIS: Los Angeles guest spot out from under me, they are gonna have to pry it out of my cold dead hands! — Jenny Mollen

I just hope that people, women specifically, embrace that side of themselves that maybe is a little nuts or that society tells us is crazy. — Jenny Mollen

women, all of whom come in two types: those who are totally batshit crazy, and those who are liars. — Jenny Mollen