Funny Inappropriate Happy Birthday Quotes & Sayings

I went over to where Ted was leaning against the green cinderblock wall. He was sitting with his legs splayed out below the bulletin board, which was full of notices from the Mathematical Society of America, which nobody ever read, Peanuts comic strips (the acme of humor, in the late Mrs. Underwood's estimation), and a poster showing Bertrand Russell and a quote: "Gravity alone proves the existence of God." But any undergraduate in creation could have told Bertrand that it has been conclusively proved that there is no gravity; the earth just sucks. — Richard Bachman

He had some taste for romance reading before he went to the university, where, we must confess, in justice to his college, he was cured of the love of reading in all its shapes; and the cure would have been radical, if disappointment in love, and total solitude, had not conspired to bring on a relapse. — Thomas Love Peacock

It was the engineer who determined what problems to investigate, designed the experiments, and defined the assignments for the mathematicians. — Margot Lee Shetterly

So what if your custom car shop tanks and you've gotta take a crappy job at an auto parts store, dealing with ignorant, pushy people. I'm okay with that, 'cause I'm an ignorant, pushy people person. — Christopher Titus

An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this. — Stephen King

His hands as he worked were deft and sure, but so gentle
he was being careful not to hurt me any more than he had to. I sat very still, hardly daring to move.
I was in love with him.
The knowledge swept through me, truer than anything I'd ever known. Oh, my God, I was in love with him. — L.A. Weatherly

This, Calvin realised, as Joey grinned and told him sweetly to "Suck that dick" was what it was like to be God: utter confidence, utter trust, utter ease with yourself, no move you could not make, no tank top you could not wear, no guy who would not worship you, not ever. This was the end state. Bliss. — David Pratt

My view is make Indian manufacturing competitive, and if it is competitive, it can serve customers or consumers anywhere. — Uday Kotak

Clearly state your goal, passionately pursue it. — Lailah Gifty Akita