Funny Hanukkah Quotes & Sayings

Jeff- "A Hanukkah tradition is making potato pancakes. For something a little different, use a sweet potato. Anything you'd like to add, Walter?"

Walter- "Accept Jesus as your Savior or you'll burn in Hell for all eternity. — Jeff Dunham

Women often focus more on staying friends, which is as important as climbing the mountain. — Arlene Blum

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. — Lemony Snicket

AMFYOYO - an acronym for "adios motherfucker, you're on your own — Lena Dunham

One of the most important functions of jazz has been to encourage a hope for freedom, for people living in situations of intolerance or struggle. — Herbie Hancock

Due to not getting pumped regular, females take the oddest fancies, such as imagining they can think. — Loretta Chase

What makes you think that I give a shit about your self-confidence? — Toba Beta

The world population is nearing seven billion. John Travolta and Farrah Fawcett didn't procreate and produce all seven thousand million of us. Audrey Hepburn and Burt Lancaster didn't personally populate the world. Almost every child that was ever born is the byproduct of two everyday people who found each other attractive enough to go jump in the sack together. Almost every child that was ever born came about because two everyday people thought the other was attractive enough to warrant a second glance. If you want proof that attraction belongs to the individual, go sit on a bench at the mall and look at all the different couples walking by.
You will believe that there literally is someone for everyone. — Dan Pearce

Just us as people, we're different around different people and in different environments. — Michael B. Jordan

Accept ignorance; pay more attention to the question than the answer; never be afraid to go in the opposite direction. — Richard Saul Wurman

And that's when it hit me. Like a building had fallen on me. The oxygen in my chest swirled into a vortex created by a single instant of horrifying clarity. — Dennis Lehane

The child is truly a miraculous being, and this should be felt deeply by the educator. — Maria Montessori

But this controversy did not involve the corporal who refused to give thought to what his life had become as a case. God did not think of a man as a case. For a case is to be solved - and a man cannot be solved. — Joyce Carol Oates