Funny Gentleman Quotes & Sayings

Priss tried to open her door, but it still didn't budge. "Unlock it."
Instead he pulled her around to face him. He started to blast her, but something funny happening. Instead of reading her the riot act, he stared into her eyes, then down at her mouth. His entire demeanor changed. He looked just as tense, but now for different, hotter reasons.
He still stared intently at her mouth when Priss heard the lock click open. She glanced down and saw that Trace had reached back for the door, all without breaking that disturbing, electrifying visual contact with her.
She met his gaze again, and softened. Damn, but resisting Trace wouldn't be easy, not if he kept looking at her like that. "You're coming in, too?"
"Yes." Suddenly, almost violently, he turned away from her and left the car. Still a gentleman, he strode around to her side and opened her door. "Let's get this night over with."
Well. That sounded insulting. — Lori Foster

Charlotte!" Denbigh roared. "What are you doing in my bedroom, and why didn't you knock?"
"I brought the doctor," she said with asperity.
"A young lady does not enter the bedroom of a gentleman to whom she is not married," Denbigh retorted.
"Then what is Olivia doing in here?" she asked.
"Olivia is my sister."
"So?"
"You are my ward."
"So?"
Olivia laughed. "Oh, Lion, you won't win an argument with Charlotte. Believe me, I've tried. — Joan Johnston

Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain. — Derek Landy

I feel like I've dreamed half of my life that hasn't happened yet, so a lot of times I'm going along, and I do stuff, and I know that I've done it. I have deja vus more than I have regular experiences. If half of your day is a deja vu, then you start to wonder, 'What is real and what isn't?' — Marilyn Manson

It may look as though I do not know how to start. Funny sight, the elderly gentleman who comes lumbering by, jowl flesh flopping, in a valiant dash for the last bus, which he eventually overtakes but is afraid to board in motion and so, with a sheepish smile, drops back, still going at a trot. Is it that I dare not make the leap? It roars, gathers speed, will presently vanish irrevocably around the corner, the bus, the motorbus, the mighty montibus of my tale. Rather bulky imagery, this. I am still running. — Vladimir Nabokov

It is part of our inheritance to be, above all, secure and confident in the will of God. — Graham Cooke

I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and he laughed all the time - good and loud, like I do. He was a gay Irish gentleman and very good-looking. And he wanted to be close to me, too, but we never had much time together. — Judy Garland

I'll be a perfect gentleman. Just clit-sucking and jerking off, no funny business. — Kit Rocha

Hmmm ... that's interesting."
"What?"
"There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun. — Derek Landy

I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman. — Alex Potvin

If corporate leaders and their acolytes are not slaves to some meritorious social purpose, they run the risk of being enslaved by their own ignoble appetites. — Gary Hamel

I'm a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners." "Overdressed for what?" said Jean. "Insulting complete strangers," said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. "Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he's a dumb motherfucker. — Scott Lynch

A woman settles down when she meets a gentleman among escaping chickens, funny baboons, and tricky hyenas .
I'm yet to meet a homosapien. — Himmilicious

Personally, I've never done things just for money. — Glenn Turner

I want my world to be fun. No parents, no rules, no nothing. Like, no one can stop me. No one can stop me. — Justin Bieber

Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp. — Charles Dickens

Sorcery is the sauce fools spoon over failure to hide the flavor of their own incompetence. — George R R Martin

When we go to see comedians or funny movies, they don't address the wall behind them; they face us. This is why a game's first job is to entertain through gameplay and secondarily through humor, drama, or other traditional entertainment devices. The humor has to be a gentleman. I mean, it needs to be squeezed in around the game. — Doug TenNapel

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way. — Mark Twain

Who knows better than you what it means to have a commander-in-chief who lived his entire life, who lived throughout the entire Cold War, and doesn't know what the nuclear triad is? It's absolutely astonishing. And so it's terrific to have Joe Dunford and you know, perhaps John Bolton and other people in positions of trust. — Bret Stephens

When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind. — Patrick Rothfuss

Whoever had coined the phrase, 'the customer is always right,' had clearly never worked in retail or customer service. And if they had, well, then they'd need to be hauled out into the street and beaten to death with plastic spoons. — William D. Arand

The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans. — Malin Akerman

I am the last leaf on the tree, and the wind is blowing. — Gordon B. Hinckley

In a loud voice, he told her that he loved her. O, trembling, was terrified to notice that she answered "I love you," and that it was true. — Pauline Reage

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say-but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!" — Brian Regan

...He was succeeded by a gentleman who gazed at the Brussels sprouts and asked if the funny little knobs on the stalks were a form of disease. I told him yes. Eczema. — Beverley Nichols

Clearly in textbook terms, the gentleman should text the lady first after intercourse, but perhaps the whole socio-etiquettical system breaks down when an insect plague is involved. — Helen Fielding

I was constantly being pushed toward a European ideal of what it means to be a classical or opera singer, let's say in the Renata Tebaldi mode. I reject that. — Renee Fleming

Yes, Max is very hot." "Excuse me?" She laughed. "He's the knight, and you're the noble gentleman, silly. You're both hotties." Ethan snorted with a laugh. "On with the tour you noble hotty you." "You're a funny girl, but also quite hot." "Thanks." Ethan — Cheri Schmidt

Hasn't anyone ever told you," Jesse asked, in a semi-amused voice, " that a gentleman never lays a hand on a lady?"
Which I thought was kind of funny, considering where Jesse had had his hand the last time I'd seen him. But I thought it better to let that slide. — Meg Cabot

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it for himself. — Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham And Vaux

Maybe Life is random. No fate. No God. Just Time. — Ellen Hopkins

No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty - to the poor. It is hell upon earth to a sensitive man; and many a brave gentleman who would have faced the labors of Hercules has had his heart broken by its petty miseries. — Jerome K. Jerome

Cupcakes are for people who can't handle reality. — Charlie Brooker

This is indeed a funny country. Yesterday, for example, we were in a cafe which is one of the best in Cairo, and there were, at the same time as ourselves, inside, a donkey shitting, and a gentleman who was pissing in a corner. No one finds that odd; no one says anything. — Gustave Flaubert

He had waited until I had my door open, then driven away. The perfect gentleman. Sort of like Dracula just before he drank your blood. — Toni Andrews

Why look'e, young gentleman," said Toby, "when a man keeps himself so very ex-clusive as I have done, and by that means has a snug house over his head with nobody a-prying and smelling about it, it's rather a starling thing to have the honour of a wisit from a young gentleman (however respectable and pleasant a person he may be to play cards with at conweniency) circumstanced as you are. — Charles Dickens

Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen. — George Bernard Shaw

Please, I do not wish to be rescued by a gentleman. Could you find a farmer or a shopkeep - anyone not of the gentry - and then do me a great favor of forgetting you saw me? — Cindy Anstey

The Church being what she is cannot have the instincts of a gentleman. — George Everett Macdonald

Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have ... undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I'm going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt. So this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans. — Elizabeth Gilbert

I can be a gentleman off and on. When the urge hits me. - Tran — Krista Alasti