Funny G Spot Quotes & Sayings

A hint of red there and a dose of heat to sear the skin - mmm, barbecue. Not funny, you sick bastard. As Wes rebuked his inner gator, he slapped himself, only to hear a voice he never thought to hear again after last night. "You're slapping the wrong part of your body. Why don't you stand up and I'll help you get the right spot?" Melanie. What is she doing here? — Eve Langlais

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot! — Henny Youngman

I spread my fingers to peek through them, and I see that Wesley's face is as red as mine. He's looking down at his pants like the thing is sticking out of the fly and not just pressing against it. And when I notice the dark, wet spot, that's when I really start to freak out.
He did not just ... ..
"Thats not me!" he shouts, holding his hands up and shaking his head. What the heck does he mean, that's not him? Who else could it be? "I think you drooled. That's not ... . I didn't ... — Cassie Mae

You realize the bad guy isn't wearing a black cape or easy to spot; he's funny, makes you laugh, and has perfect hair. — Taylor Swift

We watch so much film, calling up pitch by pitch, count by count in order to spot tendencies. Technology is a big part of how I get ready for a game. What's funny is a lot of the NFL guys say they study the 'Madden' game; that's how they learn to read offenses and defenses. — Carl Crawford

For me, the release was a spot in time with no past and no future. Just the extraordinary simplicity of a moment - the kind of moment that has a funny way of making a person believe that life and love can last forever. — Tiffanie DeBartolo

Bricks are independent but can work well with other, tough to crack, fiercely loyal and put in the right spot will hold anything and everything that you've ever held dear with the greatest of ease. — Nicole McKay

The walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for example, that in the late 1500s my little neighborhood square was a popular spot for burning people alive. Now lined with a row of small shops, the tradition continues, though in a figurative rather than literal sense. — David Sedaris

That spot was taken," Kara sat up to look at them. Stylized, short, black hair with bangs. Piercing blue eyes. Proper posture. Lean. It was Oliver.

"I don't think a bag counts as a person," he smiled down at her. — Alexis Tiger

The only person I compete with is Satan. If that happens to be you, then could you please move out of the way? You're standing in Christ's spot. — Shannon L. Alder

Funny how a wife can spot a blonde hair at twenty yards, yet miss the garage doors. — Corey Ford

Swap out one of these men with the mute, and I'll be right as rain," Randy said from his spot near the kitchen entrance.
"Thought we were besties," Bride mumbled into the shot of rum she'd pilfered from Randy's cabinet. — Shay Rucker

She (Candace) straightened her spine and shot him (Ryan) a warning glare. "You know what? You just reminded me why I don't like you."
He grinned like he got a giant kick out of needling her. Or maybe it was her response that he found funny. "Well I like you."
"That's because I'm not rude and obnoxious."
"Well there is that. But I think it's mostly to do with the fact that I'm standing here breathing because of you."
"Ah. So gratitude makes you rude? I'll have to remember that if I'm in the area next time you get in a tight spot. — Kaylea Cross

Olympus has been a much welcomed return to my Shakespearean roots. King Aegeus demanded a much greater range and depth that I've yet had the opportunity to tap on camera. Lab Rats was a wonderful opportunity for me to just go be a goofy buffoon, which I love. It was exhilarating to listen to all the funny lines the writers would come up with on the spot and then get to play them immediately. — Graham Shiels

I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone. — Steven Wright

Don't do anything stupid."
"Don't worry," I whispered over the line, "I'm an expert on stupid."
"You're ... "
"Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they've been? I'm like that. A stupidinator."
"Never say that word again," Prof said. — Brandon Sanderson

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. — Steven Wright

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?" — Lefty Gomez

You know, really - actually, it's funny because it's a sore spot with me because I have all these recipes that, you know, you have to measure things out and put them in. And then you bake it and it becomes this thing. And it's not a recipe. — Trisha Yearwood

Fans feel they know me, so they want me to be on-the-spot funny, and it's hard to fulfil their expectations. — Chris Lilley

She gasped as he captured the picture from her hands, "Pining over what could have been? Funny, if you hadn't spread your legs for anyone with a pulse, you might be standing here married to the other Karasphalous brother right now," Nikos growled as he placed the photo back in its original spot and turned just as Adriana's hand made contact with the side of his smug face.
"Go to hell!" she spat as she grasp the long folds of her dress and stormed toward the master bedroom like the hounds of hell were on her heels.
Just before slamming the door behind her she heard him bark, "I'm already there! — Julie Garver

I'm going to be one of the top four that's ever played this game, for sure. And if they don't want me to have one of those top four spots, they'd better find another spot on that mountain. Somebody's gotta get bumped, but that's not for me to decide. That's for the architects. — LeBron James

You know what to do?"
"Wander around," I said. "Until I spot a self-assembled whangdoodle from the Foggy depths. — Joel N. Ross

Every man has a sane spot somewhere. — Robert Louis Stevenson

When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair. — Taylor Swift

Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon. — Mark Jackman

Fate's funny like that, sticking her hand into places that at the time you want to curse her for - then, years later, you just want to nod and wink at her as you move into that sweet spot you've been hoping for all those years. — A. Wilding Wells

It's funny how a song can start in your mind, and then when it goes through all the filters, it ends up in a totally different spot. — Jenny Lewis

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes. — Aisha Tyler

Charlie said, his voice rising an octave in desperation. "I know it's ridiculous, but I keep trying to rationalise everything and it's driving me crazy. Did you spot that flying horse earlier? I found myself trying to explain it with Darwin's Theory of Evolution. — Victor Kloss