Funny Fresh Quotes & Sayings

I had a pain in my neck from sleeping funny, at least five hours' worth of homework, and a newfound realization that woman cannot live on cherry-flavored lip gloss alone. I dug in the bottom of my bag and found a very questionable breath mint, and figured that if I was going to die of starvation, I should at least have minty-fresh breath for the benefit of whatever classmate or faculty member would be forced to give me CPR. — Ally Carter

He looked just perfect to play Dorian Gray in a film version of Oscar Wilde's novel. Young, graceful, and indecently fresh and handsome, he could easily have worn a badge that said READY FOR DEBAUCHERY! — Sergei Lukyanenko

So these are the fresh meat, eh?" Zuko smirked.

I cringed when he said fresh meat. How demeaning.

"Well, I don't know how well all of you can fight. So I'll find out the quickest and simplest way." He raised a scarred arm and pointed it at all of us, "ATTACK THE FRESH MEAT! — L. Benitez

As she came closer to him she noticed that there was a clean fresh scent of heather and grass and leaves about him, almost as if he were made of them. She liked it very much and when she looked into his funny face with the red cheeks and round blue eyes she forgot that she had felt shy. — Frances Hodgson Burnett

It was funny how just when you thought you knew yourself through and through, you stumbled on a new kind of strength, a fresh reserve of power inside you that you never knew you had, and all at once you found yourself burning a little brighter and hotter than you ever had before. — Lev Grossman

Sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered. — Jake Gyllenhaal

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. — Laurell K. Hamilton

It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day. — Lady Victoria Hervey

I'm glad you're gay," she said solemnly, "because that way, if I can't have you, no one can."
"Um, Rocher," I mentioned, "like, a dude could have him."
This had never occurred to Rocher because she'd thought that Jate being gay translated as, "I love Rocher Bargemueller so much but I don't deserve her so I'll never have sex again." The concept of Jate with a guy was fresh turf and Rocher regarded him with an especially deranged sparkle in her eyes.
"I could be a dude," she said. — Paul Rudnick

Girlchild ... unfolds a compelling, layered narrative told by a protagonist with a voice so fresh, original, and funny you'll be in awe. This novel rocks ... In Girlchild Tupelo Hassman has created a character you'll never forget. Rory Dawn Hendrix of the Calle has as precocious and endearing a voice as Holden Caulfield of Central Park. When you finish this novel, your sorrow at turning the last page will be eased by your excitement at what this sassy, talented author will do next. — Mameve Medwed

It's funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh-cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic flip-flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding the exact point when everything changed. That summer was mine. — Sarah Dessen

It's funny because I consider myself a musical scavenger. What that means to me is that I usually avoid feeding on the fresh meat. I kinda go for the meat that's kinda been forgot for a while. — Colin Munroe

In the cool dark basement, she whispers, "It's not Ralph, is it?"
Cabel's quiet for a moment, as if he's thinking, "You mean like Forever Ralph? Uh, no."
"You've read Forever?" Janie is incredulous.
"There wasn't much else to chose from on the hospital library cart, and Deenie was always checked out," Cable says sarcastically.
"Did you like it?"
Cabel laughs softly, "Um ... well, it wasn't the wisest thing to read for a fourteen-year-old guy with fresh skin grafts in the general area down there, if you know what I mean. — Lisa McMann

The biggest lesson I've learned ... was that if you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything. — Eddie Rickenbacker

The dreams fresh on her mind, she wrote about the Ada she remembered. The obituary wasn't the sad, plodding list of mother and father, dead children, and surviving family. It honored a strong, funny woman. She proofed it a second time with a smile on her face. Ada would have slapped her knee and crowed along with her. — Laura Trentham

Science and discovery, especially in the field of non-abnormal pediatric mysteries, is built on the work of those who have been sneezed on before us. Causation and rationale may someday be reached, but until then it is the heartwarming and parental nature of the journey that drives us on; well, that and a fresh box of Kleenex. — Spuds Crawford

Depressed beyond what I'd previously thought possible, I stripped, showered, and slipped on a fresh pair of jeans and a tee shirt and headed for my mom's, trying to figure out why a bank would charge twenty dollars for insufficient funds when they know you don't have it. — Kit Frazier

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. — Jack Benny

An hour later, a nameless, cold-faced man returned with a tray of fresh pasta, warm bread, and a few bags of brand new comfort clothes: yoga pants, tees, a few sports bras, and ... pink thong underwear? Well, of course. Wouldn't want to be held prisoner and have panty lines. — Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Jane's novels are so true to life that even two centuries later they are fresh and funny and, yes, relevant as ever. — Margaret Sullivan

This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family. — Faith Hill

Rashida Jones is simply glorious. Andy Samberg shines in a grounded performance that digs deep, sharply funny and touching, a breath of fresh comic air! — Peter Travers

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. — Alice Walker

Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared. — Tupac Shakur

I had just finished working on a play, and we started to talk to the 'Happy Endings' folks. There was interest from both sides, which was exciting, because I thought it was very fresh. Adam Pally's just a really funny, talented dude. I thought I'd be great to jump on and do some comedy. — James Wolk

Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories. — Susannah Mansfield

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's always cross and then every time Luna comes in all the tension goes and she makes you laugh because she's so funny and really honest. I don't know how much I'm like her, there are some similarities but I'm more determined than her. — Evanna Lynch

Felicity Shaw," she says and sticks out a hand. Her suit is paler today but no less severe. "You look like you're feeling a little bit better, Detective." "Thank you," I say. "Fresh air and exercise. Drugs and doctors. All that." She doesn't smile. I think Swann would have smiled at that. Which I hope makes me funny and not Swann a woman with a terrible sense of humor. Could go either way on that one, though. — Jonathan Wood