Funny Customers Quotes & Sayings

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody. — Florenz Ziegfeld

I helped with customers who raced through the front door in a mad search for the perfect gift. One that looked as if they'd put hours of thought into their choice. And yes, you're right. They were mostly men.
Abby Shaw, Sucker Punched — Sammi Carter

My aunt made me an offer I had to refuse," said Jared. He looked forbidding.
Kami knew that expression, and remembered the feeling that used to go with it: he was unhappy. "So you ran away from home," she said. "To become a tavern wench."
"I'm not a tavern wench," said Jared. "That's not a job." His voice was slightly less stern than before, as if he was taken aback.
"It sounds like you're a tavern wench," Kami told him. "Fleeing persecution, you have to take up a menial occupation to keep your body and soul together. But at least its honest work, though as you labor, many predatory customers make advances and offer indignities."
"One can only hope," Jared responded. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Why are you always so mad?"

She laughs under her breath. "That's easy," she says. "Assholes, stupid customers, a shitty job, worthless parents, crappy friends, bad weather, annoying roommates who don't know how to kiss."

I laugh at the last comment, which I'm sure was supposed to be a dig, but it felt more like an underhanded flirt.

"How are you so happy all the time?" she asks. "You think everything is funny."

"That's easy," I say. "Great parents, being lucky enough to have a job, loyal friends, sunny days, and roommates who starred in porn films. — Colleen Hoover

Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered. — Victor J. Stenger

Because you were wearing a badge, customers assumed you were an oracle.
'What aisle is the desiccated coconut'
'How long do you cook a butternut squash?'
'What would you have with a pan fried red mullet?'
'Where can I find the holy grail?' Enough already! Some people obviously misread the 'Here to help' as 'Hello I'm your bitch! — Alan Carr