Funny Collections Quotes & Sayings

What's your name?" was my first question. I couldn't keep calling him Squirty though my pants were proof of the moniker's accurateness.
"James Franco."
"Like the actor?" I couldn't help but ask.
His expression eased into a smile. "Yes, but poorer and uglier. — Jeaniene Frost

I like not being dead. Anything beyond that is just icing on the cake.My undead cake of livingness. — Jhonen Vasquez

Shower while there were two dead bodies in the bathtub, and he was sane. He drilled holes in the heads of living people to make them his unresisting companions, and he was sane. He ate a bicep which he fried in a skillet, tenderised and sprinkled with sauce, and he was sane. For hours he lay with corpses, hugging them, cherishing them, and he was sane. He kept eleven assorted heads and skulls, and two complete skeletons, for eventual use in a home-made temple, and he was sane. — Brian Masters

And at the end of the day, if the movie's no good, I'll live to fight another day. — Scott Caan

This, This is what I wanted that night. I couldn't contain myself and I had to taste you, but tonight is the night I really have you. You're mine, Emma. You always have been. — Tijan

I saw courage both in the Vietnam War and in the struggle to stop it. I learned that patriotism includes protest, not just military service. — John F. Kerry

A need for enforcement implies the possibility of behavior that violates the rules of the game. The point is that if there were no possibility of violation, then you wouldn't need enforcement. — Leonid Hurwicz

I think I kind of like the idea of you all cold and wet."
"Oh right, I'll be at my best; no visible balls, and a dick that looks like a Chiclet ... "
"I can fix that," laughed Connor. — Z.A. Maxfield

My writing is sort of 'Sidney Sheldon meets Anne Tyler.' — John Searles

Dex lowered his voice, growling as his fingers moved the puppet's little paws. "Hi, I'm Ash. My hobbies include shooting things, shooting things, and uh, shooting things. Oh and I like fish. — Charlie Cochet

The practice of love is the procreation of hope. — Bryant McGill

He still wore, in the warming barracks, a muskrat cap with earlaps. Under it his eyes were gray as agates, as sudden as an elbow in the solar plexus. — Wallace Stegner

I became a boat captain because I loved the water and had been on a boat since I was eight. I captained the boat by myself because I liked being alone. — Diane Wilson