Funny Arguing Quotes & Sayings

I took a bite of lobster meat with rice. It was quite tasty. 'Arguing the morality of slaughter will send you into a tailspin of self-loathing every time.' 'Unless you're a vegan.' 'Uh-huh. But then you're a vegan and you don't count. — Julie Powell

Percy: I'll walk down to the cabins and Connor and Travis are stealing stuff from the camp store, and Silena is arguing with Annabeth trying to give her a new makeover, and Clarisse is still sticking the new kids' head into the toilets. It's nice that some things never change. — Rick Riordan

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up ... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord ... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!' — Jeff Foxworthy

The plain truth is we are going to die. Here I am, a teeny spec surrounded by boundless space and time, arguing with the whole of creation, shaking my fist, sputtering, growing even eloquent at times, and then-poof! I am gone. Swept off once and for all. I think that is very, very funny. — Charles Simic

Unbelievable," I said in disgust.
"What's unbelievable?"
"Your ego. It's surrounded by its own cloud of antimatter. You're a black hole of ... of hubris!"
Jack stared at me through the shadows, and then he averted his face, and I thought I saw the white flash of a grin.
"Are you amused?" I demanded. "What the hell is so funny?"
"I was just thinking if the sex with you is one-tenth as fun as arguing with you, I'll be one happy bastard."
"You'll never find out. You - "
He kissed me. — Lisa Kleypas

I'm a firm believer in equality at all times - "
"At all times?" She glanced at the cuffs clipped to his leathers. "Why do I find that hard to believe?" And why the heck was she arguing with him. Mine, mine, mine.
"At all times," he repeated. "However, in the bedroom or in the club, I am a lot more equal than you. — Cherise Sinclair

Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense — Chris Rock

It's funny-my married friends tell me all the time, 'What you have is so much easier.' When you're doing it on your own, you don't have to [argue over] how you're raising the kids. — Connie Britton

Don't even think of arguing with me. I'm an old woman and if you fight me about it, it could give me a heart attack. — Sara Humphreys

, and sometimes there's just no point in arguing with him. "Yeah, okay 'me, Jeff, and Evan, sitting in a tree ... '"
Chris claps his hands triumphantly. "That's right, baby!" Than a more serious expression comes across his face. "But, in a tree? Really? I mean, im a not an expert on the gay sex thing, but I think the first time at least you should be on the ground ... " And then the evening continues on as expected. — Kate Sherwood

I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause. — Dave Barry

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Keep moving!"
"Bea's arguing with the floor. — Joel N. Ross

There are two things you can't argue in film: comedy and eroticism. If something doesn't make you laugh, no one can tell you why it's funny, and it's difficult to reason someone out of an erection. — Roger Ebert

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!" — Louis C.K.