Friggin Hilarious Quotes & Sayings

While I can't walk on water, I can certainly wobble on whisky. — Ashwin Sanghi

I hope it really comes off. It would make my dad really proud. (about the song for the coming 2004 Summer Olympic Games in Athens, Greece) — George Michael

I think that American audiences are more used to following one character. — Kristen Bell

Let's face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they're "good for goodness' sake." We've transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. — Elyse M. Fitzpatrick

If you play more than two chords, you're showing off. — Woody Guthrie

Back in those days there was still an unbroken stretch of heath that lay on the route of our excursions, all that was left of a heath that once had extended almost up to the town on the one side and almost to the little village on the other. Here the honeybees and white-gray bumblebees hummed over the fragrant blossoms of heather, and the beautiful gold-green beetles ran among the plants; here in the sweet clouds of the erica and the resinous bushes hovered butterflies that could be found nowhere else on this earth. — Theodor Storm

'Man up' is a sexist term that should be retired along with all the other gender-based imperious imperatives. — Christine Pelosi

For London, Blampied claimed, was of all cities in the world the most autumnal - its mellow brickwork harmonizing with fallen leaves and October sunsets, just as the etched grays of November composed themselves with the light and shade of Portland stone. There was a charm, a deathless charm, about a city whose inhabitants went about muttering, "The nights are drawing in," as if it were a spell to invoke the vast, sprawling creature-comfort of winter. — James Hilton

I read," came his gravelly voice. "I walk. Occasionally I swim in the river." She was suddenly grateful for the darkness, as the thought of his unclothed body sliding through the water caused her to flush. — Lisa Kleypas

If you don't like smoking don't even bother getting sober, just stay drunk. — Augusten Burroughs

Goose neck is a delicacy. You have to at least try it. In fancy restaurants people pay up to fifty dollars a plate for this stuff.'
And at our house we were force-fed it for free. Just another irony of life. — Janette Rallison