Friday Funniest Quotes & Sayings

Archbishop Romero of El Salvador was a member of the Salvadoran aristocracy. He could not have risen to the top of the church hierarchy otherwise. But after he began voicing critical remarks about the war and concerned comments about the poor, he was assassinated. — Michael Parenti

Maybe I'd be a bank robber. Some god-damned thing. Something with flare, fire. You only had one shot. Why be a window washer? — Charles Bukowski

Many have tried to kill us. All have failed.
-Valek — Maria V. Snyder

Doctors are not fortune tellers, and neither am I. Having lived with disability since birth does not afford me immunity from illness. — Stella Young

I think when young kids can see Jason Collins, myself and Michael Sam, and Abby Wambach and Megan Rapinoe and different athletes come out, it will definitely change and encourage younger gay men and women to play the sport. — Robbie Rogers

She reads his poems gratefully in her small Mississippi town. It's an undramatic life, yet these past months she seems to have found the intensity he yearns for, This also sounds like bragging, though she doesn't mean it to. If she could, she'd let him bear her secret. She'd let all great men bear it, for s few hours. Then, when she too it back, they'd remember how it feels to be inhabited. — Beth Ann Fennelly

It doesn't matter how many years go by, how much therapy I embark on, how much I try to achieve that elusive thing known as perspective, which is supposed to put all past wrongs into their rightful and diminished place, that happy place where all the talk is of lessons learned and inner peace. No one will ever understand the potency of my memories, which are so solid and vivid that I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me they are driving me crazy. My subconscious has not buried them, my superego has not restrained them. They are front and center, they are going on right now. — Elizabeth Wurtzel

I always loved strange stories like the Dr. Seuss stuff. 'Go, Dog. Go!' was one of my favorite stories - it still is. It's just such a bizarre yet true book. And I did well reading and writing as a kid throughout school. I think early on that's what made me realize what an advantage that is. — Jon Scieszka

Every character lives in ever actor and if you're doing your job right, you're just accessing that part of your fantasy life. I can kill someone just as quickly as I can have sex with someone. You can switch that instinct, no matter what - you can pretend anything. — Matthew Lillard

Distractions and detours dig our grave. — Kishore Bansal

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? — Andy Warhol

There's always this sense of incredulity that writers feel, because they're usually living flat and ordinary lives, because they have to. — Doris Lessing