Famous Quotes & Sayings

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes & Sayings

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Top Frankie Boyle Best Quotes

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I don't read newspapers anymore - I just lie to myself and cut out the middleman. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I think that should be the anti - speeding advert it should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Apparently they're going to bring in Super Asbos. But Asbos already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them Gaybos or Bender Badges. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Congratulations your 18! ... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

The debate is whether the war is legal. It has brought pain, misery and desperation to hundreds of thousands of people. Does that sound legal to you? To me it sounds like the dictionary definition of the legal profession. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

There is a force that conspires against you. It's called capitalism. It's closing your libraries so you can focus on your conspiracy shit. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I think life is a lot different for alternative kids nowadays. Texting and the internet mean that being a Goth or something means you're part of a big social scene, it's an inclusive thing. Back then, we all just went our different ways in the afterglow,wishing each other all the best with the next ten years of bullying. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen? — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up! — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

My uncle would have about ten pints some nights and then drive us all home. I guess the feeling was that we weren't going to crash into anyone, because barely any fucker lived there. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

There are fears that Britain could be facing a double-dip recession, or worse still, a double-dip with misery sprinkles and fuck-where's-my-job-sauce. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome? — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them! — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory ... He's a spastic. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Immediately after his re-election [Cameron] announced: "For too long we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens so long as you obey the law we will leave you alone." A statement so far to the right that it conceded the political centre ground to Judge Dredd. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11. — Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle Best Quotes By Frankie Boyle

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem! — Frankie Boyle