Quotes & Sayings About Fortune Cookies

I got one entire song from fortune cookies (Land of Sunshine). On another one, I took words from different Frank Sinatra songs and pasted them together. Another one, I was just driving around and there was a piece of paper on the ground, so I stole it. — Mike Patton

But I could see how hard it would be for him to imagine the rest of his life, and where it would lead him ... It would be like having a job in a fortune cookie factory, standing all day on an assembly line while optimism passed through your hands on flimsy strips of paper-"You will inherit a million dollars," "You will go on an exotic vacation"-but never moving, standing in one place while the damp batter of the fortune cookies slid by, all your possible futures settling into that clamminess as it passed. — Laura Kasischke

What good were fate and fortune anyway? If there was some sort of plan she was supposed to follow, it was unreadable to her and impossible to stick to. She was tired of fate, which was probably just a made-up concept invented by humans to feel like something or someone was guiding them anyway. God, spirits, cookies, whatever. She was so sick of buying into the idea that there was actually meaning behind any of this. It was just her, blind and alone, making a mess of her life on her own, thank you very much. — Andrea Lochen

Get a job writing fortune cookies instead. I could try to write really American ones. Already, I've jotted down a few of them. Objects create happiness. The animals are pleased to be of use. Your cities will shine forever. Death will not touch you. — Jenny Offill

Patience, young grasshopper," he teased. "Good things come to those who wait." "How very wise of you," I teased back.
Russ shrugged. "I eat a lot of fortune cookies. — Kelly Oram

People think of fortune cookies as being Chinese, but in essence, they are fundamentally American. — Jennifer Lee

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice. — Mason Cooley

However, he couldn't stand the fortune cookies. His always read, "The fortune you seek is no fortune." Or "Love your neighbor, it keeps the community together." Or "Keep the dreams alive. Don't wake up — Carol Vorvain

If someone seems to have changed from one session to another, make sure you haven't changed instead. A warning from his mother, once upon a time, delivered as if she'd upended a box of spy-advice fortune cookies and chosen one at random. — Jeff VanderMeer

Warning: fortune cookies don't care what happens to you. — Mason Cooley

Fortune cookies are an American invention, and we gave it to them. The Chinese were probably like, "Uh, we don't want it." And we were like, "It's now part of your ethnic identity. — Jim Gaffigan

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. — Edward Abbey

I'm a Dom over subs. You have subs?" I shrugged a shoulder. "Are you available?" "Oh fuck!" He literally giggled, like he couldn't believe his good fortune cookies. — Lucian Bane

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. — Dave Barry

I want us to cool down for a while before we end up on horses' said Scully.
'What?' Hank asked.
'A definition of confusion.' Mulder explained, hands clasped behind his head. 'He jumped up on his horse and rode off in all directions.' He winked. 'Scully likes wise sayings like that. She hoardes fortune cookies you know. — Charles Grant

I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive. — Thom Yorke

You're not very good at being contemplative," Milo said. "You always sound like some bad caricature of a philosopher, like those fortune cookies with 'Confucius say' or the Nietzsche guy from Mystery Men that's always saying 'when you walk on the ground, the ground walks on you. — Amanda Hocking

Of fortune cookies and tarot cards they have no need: my wheelchair, burn scars, and gnarled hands apparently tell them all they need to know. My future is written on my body. — Alison Kafer

The supernatural, and all it represents, is profoundly abnormal, and therefore unreal. Few would argue with these conclusions. Fine. Now the highest aim of the realistic horror writer is to prove, in realistic terms, that the unreal is real. The question is: "Can this be done?" The answer is: "Of course not." One would look silly attempting such a thing. Consequently, the realistic horror writer, wielding the hollow proofs and premises of his art, must settle for merely seeming to smooth out the ultimate paradox. In order to achieve this effect, the supernatural realist must really know the normal world, and deeply take for granted its reality. (It helps if he himself is normal and real.) Only then can the unreal, the abnormal, the supernatural be smuggled in as a plain brown package marked Hope, Love, or Fortune Cookies, and postmarked: the Edge of the Unknown. — Thomas Ligotti

She takes the fortune cookies from the bottom of the bag and throws them into a glass bowl she keeps in the closet. She has no desire to know what her future might hold. — Alice Hoffman

Most Americans don't know enough about basic economics to fill out one fortune cookie. — Neal Boortz

Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... — E.A. Bucchianeri

God's promises are not fortune cookies. We do not use them in order to get a spiritual "fix" for the day. — Sinclair B. Ferguson

God didn't give Moses ten fortune cookies in a to-go box. God didn't lead the Israelites through the wilderness with a neon all-you-can-eat sign. And God doesn't speak to people in bathrooms, public or otherwise. — Geoffrey Wood

People do not buy fortune cookies because they taste better than every other cookie on the shelf. They buy them for the delight they deliver at the end of a meal. Marketers spend most of their time selling the cookie, when what they should be doing is finding a way to create a better fortune. Of course your job is to bake a good cookie, the very best that you can, but you must also spend time figuring out how to tell a great story. — William Mougayar

So, fortune cookies: invented by the Japanese, popularized by the Chinese, but ultimately consumed by Americans. They are more American than anything else. — Jennifer Lee

Fortune cookies are a good idea. If the message is positive, it can make your day a little better. — Yao Ming