Fortune Cookie Quotes & Sayings

If we followed our own advice, we'd be successful. — Fred Astaire

It's better to have a bad plan then no plan at all. — Charles De Gaulle

What you earn depends on what you learn. — William J. Clinton

But I could see how hard it would be for him to imagine the rest of his life, and where it would lead him ... It would be like having a job in a fortune cookie factory, standing all day on an assembly line while optimism passed through your hands on flimsy strips of paper-"You will inherit a million dollars," "You will go on an exotic vacation"-but never moving, standing in one place while the damp batter of the fortune cookies slid by, all your possible futures settling into that clamminess as it passed. — Laura Kasischke

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder. — Robert Orben

Everybody, even those that don't like Chinese food, knew that you had to eat the cookie for the fortune to come true. And so he did. — Justin Swapp

Purpose, pattern, and people, the three P's at the heart of life. — Charles Handy

If, even as the price to be paid for a fifth vote, I ever joined an opinion for the Court that began: 'The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity,' I would hide my head in a bag. The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie. — Antonin Scalia

What good were fate and fortune anyway? If there was some sort of plan she was supposed to follow, it was unreadable to her and impossible to stick to. She was tired of fate, which was probably just a made-up concept invented by humans to feel like something or someone was guiding them anyway. God, spirits, cookies, whatever. She was so sick of buying into the idea that there was actually meaning behind any of this. It was just her, blind and alone, making a mess of her life on her own, thank you very much. — Andrea Lochen

In 1918, a Chinese immigrant working in a Los Angeles noodle factory invented the fortune cookie. He did so believing that a cookie with a positive message in it would raise the spirits of the city's poor. — James Frey

After all, you don't know how strong something is until you actually test it." She winked. "I read that in a fortune cookie once." "Fortune cookie? — Nicholas Sparks

I tucked this thought inside me like a fortune into a cookie. — Meg Howrey

Love of action is not industry. — Seneca The Younger

Which reminds me of a fortune cookie: you often find your destiny on the path you take to avoid it. — Hector Elizondo

Could this guy sound a little less like a fortune cookie on acid? — Huntley Fitzpatrick

He digs out a fortune cookie fortune from his mouth, as if his mouth has a pocket. It says THE SIMPLEST ANSWER IS TO ACT. He hands it to me. I nod and put the fortune in my own mouth pocket. — A.S. King

Help someone when they're in trouble, and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again. - FORTUNE COOKIE — Darynda Jones

Of all the thoughts we think, it's only those that actually manifest themselves that seem significant. But the thoughts just before the event are like the fortune in the cookie. The fortune's as random as the thought. - Nathan Harold — Adam Ross

Happiness isn't a fortune in a cookie. It's deeper, wider, funnier, and more transporting than that. — Elvis Costello

Wealth can't buy heath, but heath can buy wealth. — Henry David Thoreau

People do not buy fortune cookies because they taste better than every other cookie on the shelf. They buy them for the delight they deliver at the end of a meal. Marketers spend most of their time selling the cookie, when what they should be doing is finding a way to create a better fortune. Of course your job is to bake a good cookie, the very best that you can, but you must also spend time figuring out how to tell a great story. — William Mougayar

I just got a fortune cookie that says "Turn off your computer and read a book" which is odd because I'm WRITING a book ... on my computer! — Meg Cabot

At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion dollars.' — Conan O'Brien

Okay, I admit it: sometimes I sound like a fortune cookie — Stanley Victor Paskavich

And did anyone here bring me food? I'm famished."
[Gregor's] fingers found a stray fortune cookie from the night before and he pulled it out. "Here," he said.
Ripred reacted with exaggerated amazement. "Oh, heavens, is this whole thing for me?"
"Look, I didn't even know
" Gregor began.
"No, please. Don't apologize." Ripred's tongue darted out and flicked the cookie into his mouth. "Oh, yes, oh, my word," he raved as he chewed and swallowed. "I'm absolutely stuffed! — Suzanne Collins

Warning: fortune cookies don't care what happens to you. — Mason Cooley

You can't find happiness outside yourself, Calder."
I shook my head. "You sound like a fortune cookie."
"It's still true. Everyone's always trying to do it, y'know. They try to get with the right people, hook up with the right guy, join the right club - without ever asking what 'right' is."
"And this is somehow supposed to apply to me? I'm not some identity-confused sophomore, Lily. If you haven't been listening, I turn into a thieving, murdering fish. — Anne Greenwood Brown

The thoughts just before the event are like the fortune in the cookie. The fortune's as random as the thought. — Adam Ross

The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie. [Referring to pronouncement by Justice Anthony Kennedy in Obergefell v. Hodges: "The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity."] — Antonin Scalia

I'm also staring at the fortune cookie. Its got a lot of blood on it and I shrug and say, as jovially as I can, Oh, you know me. — Bret Easton Ellis

Don't expect the answers overnight. This isn't a fortune cookie.
- The Duke to Delaine; discussing dating after divorce, Chapter 9 — Delaine Moore

And to go forward, you need to get rid of your anger. And in order to do that, you need to go back to the past," Mike said.
"You sound like a fortune cookie. — Amy Lignor

Fate will come looking for you. Don't bother hiding — Lauren Bjorkman

A foolish man thinks he knows everything. A wise man knows he doesn't," Finn replied absently, still looking down at the book.
"That's such a fortune-cookie answer," I said with a laugh, and even he smirked at me. — Amanda Hocking

To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful. — Woody Allen

According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free. — Josh Lieb

I got a fortune cookie that said, "To remember is to understand." I have never forgotten it. A good judge remembers what it was like to be a lawyer. A good editor remembers being a writer. A good parent remembers what it was like to be a child. — Anna Quindlen

The final act of business judgment is intuitive. — Alfred P. Sloan

I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive. — Thom Yorke

Outward success alienates a man from himself. — James T. Hill

A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. — Laozi

Most Americans don't know enough about basic economics to fill out one fortune cookie. — Neal Boortz

In the Fortune Cookie of Life, I don't want to be known as anonymous. — Julie Eberhart Painter

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice. — Mason Cooley

I said to her "I won't be happy if I get in and you don't," and Mara gave a look and said "Yes you will.". I realized that she was right and that needing people and caring about them were two very different things. I tucked this thought inside me like a fortune into a cookie. It was a secret and it made me feel powerful, even though I didn't understand why. — Meg Howrey

Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ... — E.A. Bucchianeri

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner." — P. J. O'Rourke

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. — Dave Barry

The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie. — Kelly Creagh

I suspect that if the practice could be denuded of all the spiritual preening and straight-out-of-a-fortune-cookie lingo such as "sacred spaces," "divine mother," and "holding your emotions with love and tenderness," it would be attractive to many more millions of smart, skeptical, and ambitious people who would never otherwise go near it. — Dan Harris

Josh: Just because you're not looking for something doesn't mean you won't find it.
Sean: Well, aren't you quite the fucking fortune cookie. — Shannon Stacey

God's promises are not fortune cookies. We do not use them in order to get a spiritual "fix" for the day. — Sinclair B. Ferguson

You know," he said, "at some point you're going to realize that being a smart-ass isn't as much about being smart as it is about being an ass." "That's good," I said. "Did you read that in a fortune cookie? — Garth Stein

Like special fungus, your love will grow in strange places — Lauren Bjorkman

For children is there any happiness which is not also noise? — Frederick William Faber

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks. — Rodney Dangerfield

What thought or message would you put in a fortune cookie?
Stop reading this. Eat the cookie and live your life. — Veronica Roth

God didn't give Moses ten fortune cookies in a to-go box. God didn't lead the Israelites through the wilderness with a neon all-you-can-eat sign. And God doesn't speak to people in bathrooms, public or otherwise. — Geoffrey Wood

She knew from personal experience how hard loving was, how selfish and how easily sundered. Withholding sex or relying on it, ignoring children or devouring them, rerouting true feelings or locking them out. Youth being the excuse for that fortune-cookie love - until it wasn't, until it became pure adult stupidity. — Toni Morrison