Quotes & Sayings About Flight Attendants

British flight attendants warn you not to tamper with the smoke detectors in the aircraft toilets, whereas American flight attendants warn you not to tamper with, disable or destroy them. — Terry Eagleton

Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads! — David Letterman

The introduction was meant to be all important and elegant and meaningful and "This summer marks the voyage of discovery of Livia Stowe," and instead all I'm doing is writing about the plane crashing and when they find my laptop the only message I'll have left for my loved ones and the good of humanity is "Oh, noooooo, we're all going to die! It was the turkeys!" They will know that I knew about the loose bit on the wing. And didn't tell anyone. Okay, everything's smoothing out again now. The flap is still flapping, but we've made it through the flying turkeys, and the plane has stopped bumping. The flight attendants still don't seem bothered, so I think maybe I'm not going to die today. — Kate Le Vann

Hillary Clinton flew with President Bush to New York City on Tuesday. She was amazed at the changes aboard Air Force One. For eight years she believed that flight attendants couldn't wear clothes because it made the plane too heavy. — Argus Hamilton

Well, what do you want me to say?' The Doctor was so angry he was almost hovering. 'Well done on marrying the only male nurse not to have a full set of Barbara Streisand records? Why did you pick him, anyway? Were there no flight attendants in your village?'
'Only Jeff,' [Amy replied].
'Ah.' ...
'I picked Rory, always Rory, because he is just like you,' I [Amy] yelled at him. 'He is sweet and understanding and funny and he always tries to do the right thing. Plus you both run the same way.'
'We do not.'
'Do so. — James Goss

Only accurate rifles are interesting — Townsend Whelen

Are bacon and chocolate the foundation of a good meal? No, everybody knows
that is a deep fryer and/or gravy. However, I have long held the notion that you can't name a food that I can't improve by adding either bacon or chocolate. — Aaron Blaylock

Flight attendants all over the world saw 'Sex and the City.' Doesn't matter what country you are in. The flight attendants know Jack Berger. — Ron Livingston

Then the flight attendants, garbage bags in hand, glided down the aisle, looking each one of us square in the face and whispering, without discrimination, Your trash. You're trash. Your family's trash. — David Sedaris

As Queen Elizabeth II said after her annus horribilis: "There can be no doubt that criticism is good for people and institutions . . . but scrutiny can be just as effective if it is made with a touch of gentleness, good humor, and understanding. — Tim Clissold

I turned away from him and went on my way, up the street and about my business. The past was dead. The future was resignation, fatality, and could only end one way now. The present was numbness, that could feel nothing. Like Novocaine needled into your heart. What was there in all the dimensions of time for me? ("Life Is Weird Sometimes" first chapter of unpublished novel THE LOSER) — Cornell Woolrich

It's like what flight attendants tell you about the oxygen masks that plop down in an emergency: First you put yours on, and then you put it on the child next to you. She — Francisco X Stork

In a series of experiments, safety officials ran regular people through mock evacuations from planes. The trials weren't nearly as stressful as real evacuations, of course, but it didn't matter. People, especially women, hesitated for a surprisingly long time before jumping onto the slide. That pause slowed the evacuation for everyone. But there was a way to get people to move faster. If a flight attendant stood at the exit and screamed at people to jump, the pause all but disappeared, the researchers found. In fact, if flight attendants did not aggressively direct the evacuation, they might as well have not been there at all. A study by the Cranfield University Aviation Safety Centre found that people moved just as slowly for polite and calm flight attendants as they did when there were no flight attendants present. — Amanda Ripley

Eleanor had known that for so long, she couldn't even remember figuring it out. — Rainbow Rowell

Been in a lot of time zones. Been on a lot of planes. Had a lot of complimentary honey-roasted peanuts whapped onto my tray table by hostile flight attendants. "Would you care for some peanuts, sir?" WHAP. Like that. The flight attendants hate us passengers, because we're surly to them because our flight is delayed. Our flight is always delayed. The Russians will never be able to get their missiles through the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns. — Dave Barry

That I've horrified many flight attendants across the globe with my oft-thought morbid ritual of listening to Tuesday's Gone as we fly through the sky is not my concern. My declaration evident, my truth now burns: there is no preordained destiny to battle, I thumb my nose at fate.
I am a warrior. The rules don't apply. — Ava Ayers

Keep in mind that I have a lot of experience serving Diet Coke. You might find it interesting to learn that it's the most annoying beverage a flight attendant can pour for a passenger in flight, because in the time it takes us to fill one cup, we could have served an entire row of passengers. For some reason the fizz at 35,000 feet doesn't go down as quickly as it does for other sodas, so flight attendants end up standing in the aisle just waiting to pour a little more . . . and a little more . . . and a little more . . . until passengers sitting nearby become impatient and begin shouting out drink orders I can never remember. — Heather Poole

We're trained, in our culture, to take care of ourselves first. Even flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. But they never tell you what happens afterwards. How do you live with yourself if you survive and the person next to you doesn't? — Tracy Weber

I was on a 747 flight out of Denver with four flight attendants on the plane. One of the flight attendants got off the plane to go check someone's carry-on bag in the cargo hold, and while she was gone, the door closed and we began to taxi out. While we were giving the demo, we looked out the window of the airplane to see the flight attendant running alongside the plane in the snow, waving and yelling and trying to catch up to us. 'Did you notice that we're missing someone?' I said to the other flight attendant. 'Yes, but try to keep it low-key - there's a supervisor on board!' Well, it's hard to keep it low-key when someone is running alongside your plane, waving and screaming. The plane stopped and the air stairs went down so she could get on board, and my co-worker said, 'Tell her to try to be inconspicuous when she gets back on.' Well, she had to walk the entire length of the plane to get back to her station, and everybody on board broke into applause. — Betty N. Thesky

So, what's up with you two? You're really flight attendants?"
Marna's eyes danced. "I prefer sky muffins." She giggled. — Wendy Higgins

PREPARE FOR LANDING PREPARE FOR LANDING, TRACK 1 The seat belt sign is illuminated The flight attendants beyond frustrated The passengers are drunk and frayed A baby's screaming in seat 16A Another flight from here to where? Crammed in a sardine can with not enough air We're on the map, I know that much But the directions I really need are in your touch Prepare for landing, says the captain As the plane arcs down to the looming horizon Ushering us onto some foreign soil I touch the ground, and see your smile Up and down, and down and up Cokespritebeerpretzelspeanuts As we careen through empty sky It feels like nothing but you and I Prepare for landing, says the captain Out the window, the sun is setting Hand in mine, you give a squeeze You're all the home I'll ever need — Gayle Forman

It makes me sad when I find sisters who aren't joyful. They might smile, but with just a smile they could be flight attendants! — Pope Francis

Most of us have jobs that require some handling of other peoples' feelings and our own, and in that sense, we are all partly flight attendants. — Arlie Russell Hochschild

My experience is at The Groundlings Theater, where we created different characters and did sketch comedy. And sometimes the characters were outrageous, but they always came from a real place. So even working there, we had to create characters from the people that we knew. — Cheryl Hines

My son is an inspired child, a very positive and happy child. The year he was born, he travelled 13 countries with us. I still remember he was so well behaved that the flight attendants used to thank him! — Sonu Nigam

There is a reason flight attendants tell you to put your mask on first in an emergency ... you cannot be important to anyone else if you are not first and foremost important to yourself. Appreciate and love yourself then use that to do the same for others. In other words, save yourself first. — Shelley K. Wall