Flat Tire Quotes & Sayings

How can we describe the most exalted experience of our physical lives [sex], as if-jack, wrench, hubcap, and nuts-we were describing the changing of a flat tire? — John Cheever

I don't see anything wrong with a cell phone. That's great. You have a flat tire in the middle of the night; it works better than digging in your pocket for a quarter and looking for a payphone eight miles down the road. — Billy Bob Thornton

Some libertarians succeed by re-inventing the wheel. Most libertarians fail by re-inventing the flat tire. — Mike Cloud

Sure you are," Jack replied. He sashayed up next to me, and yes, it was a sashay, he was far too damn smug for his good looks. Damn me for getting all girly inside at the sight of him coming over to rescue my damsel in distress.

Then he became the ultimate man.

He picked up the flat spare, looked at it, and said "Yep, it's flat."

"What are you, a rocket scientist in your spare time?"

"Only on the weekends. — Candice Gilmer

Genius is fine for the ignition spark, but to get there someone has to see that the radiator doesn't leak and no tire is flat. — Rex Stout

Once upon a valley
There came down
From some goldenblue mountains
A handsome young prince
Who was riding a dawncolored horse
Names Lordsburg.

I love you
You're my breathing castle
Gentle so gentle
We'll live forever

In the valley
There was a beautiful maiden
Whom the prince drifted into love with
Like a New Mexico made from apple thunder and long
glass beds.

I love you
You're my breathing castle
Gentle so gentle
We'll live forever

The prince enchanted
The maiden
And they rode off
On the dawncolored horse
Named Lordsburg
Toward the goldenblue mountains.

I love you
You're my breathing castle
Gentle so gentle
We'll live forever

They would have lived
happily ever after
if the horse hadn't had
a flat tire
In front of a dragon's
House. — Richard Brautigan

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said, Tire go flat? I couldn't resist. Said, Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign. — Bill Engvall

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club — Dave Barry

And when I'm in my car I'm laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
But that's flat — Skee-Lo

That obstinate sense of independence was the biggest challenge I face in building my little house (that, and not always knowing what I was doing). I was stubborn in the way I hated to ask for help. Some people are good at it, asking friends or their husbands to collect ginger ale and crackers at the grocery because they feel nauseous, or standing on the side of the road with a tire iron in one hand, hoping someone will stop to change their flat tire. I'm not like that; I'd rather have a rough stick dragged across my gums than walk to the neighbor's house to borrow sugar or ask for help jump-starting my car. — Dee Williams

A flat tire is like a bad attitude, you won't go anywhere until you change it. — Winston Brown

I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window. — Nick Offerman

It is six A.M., and I am working. I am absentminded, reckless, heedless of social obligations, etc. It is as it must be. The tire goes flat, the tooth falls out, there will be a hundred meals without mustard. The poem gets written. I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame. Neither do I have guilt. — Mary Oliver

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever stepped into a place and just known you were meant to be there?"
Kind of."
She glances over her shoulder at me, waiting.
I pick my path toward her, unfolding the wool blanket as I approach. From behind, I wrap the blanket and my arms around her slender body, pulling her into my chest. "One night, I got out of my car to help this girl with a flat tire. I didn't know it right then, though. But I was meant to meet her. — K.A. Tucker

I am not a cowboy with a ranch and cattle, but I have this stable with some of the most beautiful horses in the world. I am not a farmer with a hundred-year-old farmhouse and acres of crops, but I have an island with acres of fertile land. I am not a mechanic with grease under my fingernails, but I know how to fix a flat tire. I am not your everyday average guy. I do not know if I can be one. But if you marry me, I will do my best to make your life as ordinary as you'd like. — Melissa McClone

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house. — Jeff Foxworthy

Some days taking up your cross feels like putting up with an annoying coworker or a flat tire. And some days taking up your cross feels like what it is - death. — Jared C. Wilson

I am a futility. The life of prayer begins with that. And God is not a comfort, to be offered like Kleenex. God is a poisoned sea, with broken syringes washing up on the beach. God is shopping malls stretching to the horizon and warplanes in the sky. God is a flat tire in a rainstorm and beer cans in the ditch, a bottle shattered on a highway and the taste of gunmetal in your mouth. — Tim Farrington

can listen and counsel. You can lend ideas and hard work and home-cooked meals. You can be a friend and a fan. You can share your favorite books and fix a flat tire. You can inspire people and encourage them. You can sweat beside them and support them. But you cannot make their choices for them. You cannot take their excuses from them. You cannot make them resilient. — Eric Greitens

When I was a young college teacher in my mid-twenties, an older colleague delighted in characterizing post-Enlightenment theology as "flat-tire theology" - "All the pneuma has gone out of it. — Marcus J. Borg

Ponyboy, listen, don't get tough. You're not like the rest of us and don't try to be ... "
What was the matter with Two-Bit? I knew as well as he did that if you got tough you didn't get hurt. Get smart and nothing can touch you ...
"What in the world are you doing?" Two-Bit's voice broke into my thoughts.
I looked up at him. "Picking up the glass."
He stared at me for a second, then grinned. "You little sonofagun," he said in a relieved voice. I didn't know what he was talking about, so I just went on picking up the glass from the bottle end and put it in a trash can. I didn't want anyone to get a flat tire. — S.E. Hinton

Until we forgive ourselves, we will always see ourselves through the shattered pieces of the dreams we can no longer have. Nothing can be seen clearly through broken pieces: no future, no hope, no faith, no love is capable of being seen properly until we admit that we are driving on a flat tire. We have to stop believing that just because we are damaged we are irreparably broken. — Sarah Jakes

I can't fight.
I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys. — Woody Allen

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire. — Roy Orbison

Like a car tire, businesses don't usually dissolve because of a blow out, Instead it goes flat due to a slow leak over time. — Anonymous

We are not going to win because you have a new head coach, any more than you are going to fix a flat tire by changing the driver. We will win the minute all of us get rid of excuses as to why we can't win and stop wallowing in self-pity. — Lou Holtz

I'm no mechanic but I can change my oil and I know what to do when I get a flat tire and I can hot-wire it in an emergency. — Amber Heard

I was a dispatcher, flat-tire fixer, changed the oil, fixed the fan belts. There was nothing too good for me. — Manuel Moroun

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card ... — Jill Shalvis

A Dilemma with a flat tire was a reminder that no matter how splendid and shiny the world might be, it could be spoiled by something you didn't notice until the damage had been done. — Lemony Snicket

Patience is an unfailing remedy for friction in personal relations. Even if a person has never won a beauty contest, has no money in the bank, can't even change a flat tire, if he or she has inexhaustible patience, then we will find that life with such a person will never grow stale. — Eknath Easwaran

I did Jay Leno with Mike the Situation, and he just - he lives, like, ten minutes from me in Jersey. He's like, 'If you ever get a flat, call me. I'll come fix your tire.' That's how we do. That's neighborly, you know? — Queen Latifah

Something doesn't look right," Vee said. "Is the tire supposed to look like that?"
I banged my head against the nearest tree trunk.
"So we've got a flat," Vee said. "What now? — Becca Fitzpatrick

"Isn't it fun getting older?" is really a terrible fallacy. That's like saying I prefer driving an old car with a flat tire. — Katharine Hepburn

Whether stuck in traffic because of construction or fixing a flat tire after hitting a pothole, Michiganders feel frustrated with the quality of our roads. — Kerry Bentivolio

When you keep asserting that things are going to work out well, that you can do the job, that you will not have a flat tire, that you will get there on time, by talking up good results you invoke the law of positive effects and good results occur. Things do turn out well. — Norman Vincent Peale

Everybody has a home team: It's the people you call when you get a flat tire or when something terrible happens. It's the people who, near or far, know everything that's wrong with you and love you anyways. These are the ones who tell you their secrets, who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they're at your house. These are the people who cry when you cry. These are your people, your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people. — Shauna Niequist

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy's First Corollary If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. — George Edward Woodberry

It is bad enough to reinvent the wheel. What really hurts is when they reinvent the flat tire. — Lee S Shulman

A mobile home with a flat tire is a home. — Demetri Martin