Fanpop Funny Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk. — Andrew Schneider

The smaller the government, the less the need to manipulate politicians. — John Stossel No They Can T

It made me feel particularly sickened to know that this kind of callous attitude toward animals is repeated again and again in laboratories around this country. — Jane Goodall

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know? — Drew Carey

In everything I do, whether in business, philanthropy or my personal life, I am guided by my inner truth, my values. — Shari Arison

His hands were no bigger than a four-year-old girl's. It was surreal. This massive authoritative figure, with a huge red meaty face and thick walrus mustache and dewlaps and a neck that spilled over the rim of his shirt-collar, and his hands were tiny and pink and hairless and butt-soft, delicate as shells. The hands were the capper. I barely made it out of the office before it started. — David Foster Wallace

A Japanese woman we'd met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle, the electric bathtub: everything blinks and bleeps and calls out in the middle of the night. I'd wondered what the rice maker was carrying on about, and Reiko told us that it was on a timer and simply wanted us to know that it was present and ready for duty. That was the kettle's story as well, while the tub was just being an asshole and waking us up for no reason. — David Sedaris

Bullshit!" Thor shouted at the stage, causing the actor playing Estelle to look at the audience. Thor added, "Just leave. Be done with this nightmare of a play! Goddamn cowards! — Dylan Callens

The depth of your challenges will determine the heights of your success in life — Bernard Kelvin Clive

The happiness even of the naturalist depends in some measure upon his ignorance, which still leaves him new worlds of this kind to conquer. He may have reached the very Z of knowledge in the books, but he still feels half ignorant until he has confirmed each bright particular with his eyes. — Robert Wilson Lynd

The legal toleration of abortion or of euthanasia can in no way claim to be based on respect for the conscience of others, precisely because society has the right and the duty to protect itself against the abuses which can occur in the name of conscience and under the pretext of freedom. — Pope John Paul II

She shared the curse of many artists - that praise beaded up and rolled off her while criticism stuck like glue, glue embedded with ground glass. — Carol Anshaw