Erma Bombeck Family Quotes & Sayings

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. — Erma Bombeck

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. — Erma Bombeck

All I want to shout is 'Moaty, it's Gazza!', and I guarantee me and him could sit and chat. I would say, 'Why don't you just put the gun away, throw it in the river? The police are not going to kill you. — Paul Gascoigne

Be to believe, feel to love, and create to inspire. — Debasish Mridha

I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own toys, if men don't have pockets in their pants, tougho. — Erma Bombeck

Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them. — Erma Bombeck

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment. — Erma Bombeck

You have brought the best things in my life. I used to be so unhappy before but now I am filled with joy and peace. Thank you for bringing so many good things into my life. — Jason Garrison

Good acting is about reacting, not tryingto express something, but reacting to a situation as the character.I don't like acting acting. — Jim Jarmusch

If a hippo ever wants to fight, just walk away. — Dan Brown

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate. — Erma Bombeck

I say you don't need religion, or political ideology, to understand human nature. Science reveals that human nature is greedy and selfish, altruistic and helpful. — Michael Shermer

I've read short stories that are as dense as a 19th century novel and novels that really are short stories filled with a lot of helium. — Lynn Abbey

I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday? — Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. — Erma Bombeck

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck

An oncology ward is a battlefield, and there are definite hierarchies of command. The patients, they're the ones doing the tour of duty. The doctors breeze in and out like conquering heroes, but they need to read your child's chart to remember where they've left off from the previous visit. It is the nurses who are the seasoned sergeants
the ones who are there when your baby is shaking with such a high fever she needs to be bathed in ice, the ones who can teach you how to flush a central venous catheter, or suggest which patient floor might still have Popsicles left to be stolen, or tell you which dry cleaners know how to remove the stains of blood and chemotherapies from clothing. The nurses know the name of your daughter's stuffed walrus and show her how to make tissue paper flowers to twine around her IV stand. The doctors may be mapping out the war games, but it is the nurses who make the conflict bearable. — Jodi Picoult

The great dialectic in our time is not, as anciently and by some still supposed, between capital and labor; it is between economic enterprise and the state. — John Kenneth Galbraith

Sow something positive to somebody's life and you'll get that positivity back to your life because you reap what you sow. — Euginia Herlihy

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates. — Erma Bombeck

The issue of guns, as president [Barack] Obama mentioned, which is particularly assailant in Colorado, a very complicated gun story, and I think a political climate that urges people to take issues into their own hands. — Jonathan Michel Metzl

An accepted lover, who deserves to have been accepted, should devote every hour at his command to his mistress. — Anthony Trollope

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. — Erma Bombeck

In fact, ballet companies did not exist in the Midwest when I was a child. — Suzanne Farrell

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. — Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. — Erma Bombeck

I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me. — Erma Bombeck