Edwart Quotes & Sayings

Germs contagious, contagious alert!
But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt! — The Harvard Lampoon

Individual income can grow only as fast as productivity rises. — Alex Berenson

Cannot Hannah Arendt's 'banality of evil' be subject to transposition: the evil of banality? — Studs Terkel

You can fool history sometimes, but you can't fool the memory of your intimates. — Barbara Kingsolver

In almost all sciences the fundamental knowledge is either found in earliest times or is still being sought. — Friedrich Nietzsche

We began to butterfly kiss, which is when you touch your eyelashes to the other person's skin. I was going to respect Edwart's desire to wait, and he was going to respect my desire for winged creatures. — The Harvard Lampoon

Picture us, five floating nudists in oxygen masks, ragged with fatigue and degrees of schock, squeezing the last beads of antifreeze from our hair. — Jonathan Lethem

Then, suddenly, I remembered the accident, and Edwart's snow-proof body, and his eyes that changed from I-don't-remember to green, and I knew. — The Harvard Lampoon

Human relations, I mess them up, and they let me down. — Juliana Hatfield

You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man ... he was trying to sell you a Sega product. — The Harvard Lampoon

So all this time you thought I was a vampire?' Edwart whispered furiously, pulling me a few inches to the left.
'Sure,' I said, 'you know, the lion falls for the lamb ... '
'What?'
'Sorry. It's easier for me if I explain things in animal terms. — The Harvard Lampoon

I noticed there was garlic above the doorframe. Edwart held a stake in one hand and a 'Team Jacob' shirt in the other. — The Harvard Lampoon

I like to remind people what radical means
'at the root of things.' It shouldn't be considered a pejorative. There isn't a great name out of history you can pick who wasn't 'radical. — Sonia Johnson

After dinner, Edwart took me upstairs to see his room. At the top of the stairs was a giant wooden cross.
"Ironic, huh?" Edwart said.
"Why?" I asked with trepidation, imagining that, at any second, Edwart would turn into dust, which I would then sweep up and disperse over my furniture so he would always be with me.
"Because we're Jewish, of course
nonpracticing. — The Harvard Lampoon

As soon as we were inside, Edwart's family rushed to greet me. What seemed like thirty people circled me, chattering away.
"Oh my god, you smell good."
"Good smell, good smell."
"(she really does smell good.)"
"do you mind if I put my nose right on you? Right on your arm?"
"More smelly smelly please."
"If I could destroy every part of my brain except the part that smelled your smell, I would do it. I would do it in a second."
"Let's go, Belle," Edwart whispered and grabbed my hand. We pushed through the ravenous vampires nad out the front door.
"So that went well!" I said outside in the U-HAUL. I sniffed my hair. I did smell good.
"No, no, that wasn't my house," Edwart said, starting the truck. "I don't even know those people! Sometimes I get addresses confused. — The Harvard Lampoon

About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him
which I assumed was wildly out of his control
that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me. — The Harvard Lampoon

The baby, a girl, is born at 6:24 a.m.
She weighs six pounds, ten ounces.
The mother takes the baby in her arms and asks her, "Who are you, my little one?"
And in response, this baby, who is Liz and not Liz at the same time, laughs. — Gabrielle Zevin

Love isn't always magic. Sometimes it's just melting. — Andrea Gibson

You don't have to hide your natural inclination to boss me around. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Edwart. To the point of domination."
"Okay, okay." He took a deep breath and pointed at me. "You," he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. "Come to the place where you want to go, which, hopefully, is my car, where I will be, God willing. — The Harvard Lampoon

I looked over at Edwart. It occurred to me that I had never seen him in direct sunlight. Interestingly enough, I had also never seen him sparkle. Could the two be related? — The Harvard Lampoon

I'll tell you what can make bacon better ... nothing. — Chelsea Handler

You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes and their combat ho's; Gardeners and their garden hose;Firemen and their fire hose ... If you ask me, a 'masquerade' theme isn't flattering for anyones features, nor does it define the apppropriate gender roles very clearly. — The Harvard Lampoon