Quotes & Sayings About Diarrhea

Latro, California: "Terrible diarrhea, Doctor, and I feel so weak!" "Take these pills and come back in three days if you're not better."
Parkington, Texas: "Terrible diarrhea ... " "Take these pills ... "
Hainesport, Louisiana: "Terrible ... " "Take ... "
Baker Bay, Florida ...
Washington, DC ...
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania ...
New York, New York ...
Boston, Massachusetts ...
Chicago, Illinois: "Doctor, I know it's Sunday, but the kid's in such a terrible state - you've got to help me!" "Give him some junior aspirin and bring him to my office tomorrow. Goodbye."
EVERYWHERE, USA: a sudden upswing in orders for very small coffins, the right size to take a baby dead from acute infantile enteritis. — John Brunner

FYI, this book is not that serious. This is meant to be read when super bored, then forgotten fifteen minutes later. It could be read cover-to-cover during one medium-to-severe case of diarrhea. — David Spade

It is still just unbelievable to us that diarrhea is one of the leading causes of child deaths in the world. — Melinda Gates

I think that's such an important message, especially for younger women, to know, 'I don't have to come out of the womb painting like Frida Kahlo. My very first thing that I make isn't going to be an around-the-world sensation.' You have to paint a hundred really ugly, barfy, diarrhea paintings before you come up with that one where you start to really get into your groove. — Kathleen Hanna

Often children came in with minor colds or coughs or diarrhea and then suddenly, they were dead. — Barbara Demick

I find the fact that more than 750,000 children still die every year around the world because of severe dehydration due to diarrhea unacceptable. — Chelsea Clinton

Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Kids are dying from diarrhea ... that just shouldn't be in this day and age, and it's that kind of thing that needs to be changed. Enough is enough — Brad Pitt

I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea. — Mr. Krabs

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea. — Jim Gaffigan

It would be an idyllic tropical paradise if not for the malaria, the insects, the constant diarrhea and resulting hemorrhoids, and the fact that the people are dirty and smell bad and eat each other and use human heads for decoration. — Neal Stephenson

Like backstage, I just peed like every 3 seconds. I think yur staff thinks I have diarrhea. — Jennifer Lawrence

Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea — Josh Stern

Chauncy made a huge effort to control himself. "I had lunch at Maisie's Diner."
"And?"
"And what? It was the most revolting lunch it has been my misfortune to consume."
"And after?"
"Diarrhea, of course. — Douglas Preston

Revolutions are ninety percent social diarrhea. — G. Willow Wilson

Woke up this morning to the incredible news that I was nominated for an Emmy, and a shower full of dog poop. Apparently my dog is so excited, she has explosive diarrhea. I truly could not be more thankful to the Emmy voters for including me in this brilliant company of extraordinary women. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up an enormous amount of dog poop out of my shower. Yay! — Martha Plimpton

If you eat a destroying angel, for the rest of the day you'll feel fine. Later that night, or the next morning, you'll start exhibiting cholera-like symptoms - vomiting, abdominal pain, and severe diarrhea. Then you start to feel better. At the point where you start to feel better, the damage is probably irreversible. Amanita mushrooms contain amatoxin, which binds to an enzyme that is used to read information from DNA. It hobbles the enzyme, effectively interrupting the process by which cells follow DNA's instructions. Amatoxin causes irreversible damage to whatever cells it collects in. Since most of your body is made of cells,4 this is bad. Death is generally caused by liver or kidney failure, since those are the first sensitive organs in which the toxin accumulates. Sometimes intensive care and a liver transplant can be enough to save a patient, but a sizable percentage of those who eat Amanita mushrooms die. — Randall Munroe

Never done an explosion, but I have had explosive diarrhea, and that was very, very real. Good thing I have my trailer. — Steven Soderbergh

Sorry - I get word vomit. You know, where you can't stop talking? It's like diarrhea, but vomit? You know? — Sara DiVello

Many people infected with C. diff are sick with diarrhea, abdominal pain, nausea, and weight loss. Others are "carriers" of C. diff with no signs or symptoms of disease. Some of these carriers have been recently infected with C. diff but have recovered and now feel well. But carriers still have the C. diff organism in their stools and can serve as a silent reservoir of infection in hospitals and nursing homes. — J. Thomas LaMont

August said you row?" she asked. Her voice spilled over me like warm syrup. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the drugging sensation then realized she'd asked me a question.
"Yeah," I answered belatedly. Good. A short answer but it's better than mouth diarrhea. "I row ... a-uh-boat ... with-uh-my teammates." Superb! Just-uh-superb. — Fisher Amelie

Hooper ladled chum, which sounded to Brody, every time it hit the water, like diarrhea. — Peter Benchley

At a family occasion in the 1990s, I met a relative by marriage who had spent time in Auschwitz. Within seconds of meeting me he clenched my wrist and recounted this story. A group of men had been eating in silence when one of them slumped over dead. The others fell on his body, still covered in diarrhea, and pried a piece of bread from his fingers. As they divided it, a fierce argument broke out when some of the men felt their share was an imperceptible crumb smaller than the others'. To tell a story of such degradation requires extraordinary courage, backed by a confidence that the hearer will understand it as an accounting of the circumstances and not of the men's characters. — Steven Pinker

Rotavirus does not cause all diarrhea, but it causes a lot of it. Instead of a single vaccine dose, however, harried nurses may have to give several, as diarrhoea makes it difficult for a child to retain anything. — Rose George

You've probably been asked to care about things like HIV/AIDS or T.B. or measles, but diarrhea kills more children than all those three things put together. It's a very potent weapon of mass destruction. — Rose George

She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea. — Dee Burks

The first thing I noticed about East Shoal High School was that it didn't have a bike rack. You know a school is run by stuck-up sons of bitches when it doesn't even have a bike rack.

I shoved Erwin behind the blocky green shrubs lining the school's front walk and stepped back to make sure the tires and handlebars were hidden. I didn't expect anyone to steal, touch, or notice him, since his rusty diarrhea color made people subconsciously avert their eyes, but I felt better knowing he was out of harm's way. — Francesca Zappia

A person who gossips & talks too much may not suffer from Bipolar Disorder but may suffer from Verbal Diarrhea. — Timothy Pina

The Bible says love your neighbor, not have nasty diarrhea of the mouth about your neighbor. — Delia Steele

I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit."
Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap. — Michael Grant

I feel like during the night, a family of raccoons built a nest in my head and then got diarrhea there. I think this is called a hangover, but I can't be sure. — A.S. King

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea. — Dana Gould

You get diarrhea out here, you dehydrate from the inside out - you leave the gene pool. — Cody Lundin

I have lived most my life with chronic inflammation and constant pain with immediate diarrhea. — Mike McCready

Ricin - Death by diarrhea — Anders Breivik

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points. — Zach Galifianakis

A few words in defense of military scientists. I agree that squad leaders are in the best position to know what and how much their men and women need to bring on a given mission. But you want those squad leaders to be armed with knowledge, and not all knowledge comes from experience. Sometimes it comes from a pogue at USUHS who's been investigating the specific and potentially deadly consequences of a bodybuilding supplement. Or an army physiologist who puts men adrift in life rafts off the dock at a Florida air base and discovers that wetting your uniform cools you enough to conserve 74 percent more of your body fluids per hour. Or the Navy researcher who comes up with a way to speed the recovery time from travelers' diarrhea. These things matter when it's 115 degrees and you're trying to keep your troops from dehydrating to the point of collapse. There's no glory in the work. No one wins a medal. And maybe someone should. — Mary Roach

History my god. An incurable diarrhea of dead immortals. — Robert Coover

Oh, I bet you'd find that marvelous; all of us helpless women just smiling and nodding. Though I'm afraid it would never work on me." "Of course not," he deadpans. "I'm stuck next to the one afflicted with an apparently incurable case of verbal diarrhea." "Says the man who is socially constipated. — Kristen Callihan

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do. — Henry A. Kissinger

I was diarrhea and she was merely a bad case of indigestion. — Tarryn Fisher

Nose-hairs gone: runny nostrils. Constipation and diarrhea alternating — Christopher Hitchens

One minute you think you've got the world by the balls, the next minute you don't know where the fuck the world's balls are."
"Sure I do," I say irritably. "Right next to the world's big fat hairy asshole, upon which I seem to be stuck in superglue lately, waiting for it to have its next case of explosive diarrhea. — Karen Marie Moning

We're just different."
"Yeah," I say. "I'm mute and you have verbal diarrhea. — Janet Gurtler

The second stage set in ten or fifteen days after the bombing. Its first symptom was falling hair. Diarrhea and fever, which in some cases went as high as 106, came next. — John Hersey

Months after my wrists ripping, a talk therapist referred to the act as self-hatred. Until then nobody had said this to me. Did everyone presume that I already knew so? People say it all the time. It's safer to draw this conclusion. Throw in cowardice and you have an insulated public. I was not enraged at all. I was panic stricken. How could I hate myself for wanting to stop such physical sickness and terror? Mine was an act of caretaking, compassion, love. You cannot share this insight with therapists because they think such encourages recurrence. Have you ever stopped diarrhea with a prayer? If you have to go, you go. If you have to die, you die. — Brian Spellman

I'm of the belief that in most industries, women have to work twice as hard to get half the credit. After putting in so much effort to make a good movie, it felt pretty demeaning when they called it a "female comedy." This meaningless label painted me into a corner and forced me to speak for all females, because I am the actual FEMALE who wrote the FEMALE comedy and then starred as the lead FEMALE in that FEMALE comedy. They don't ask Seth Rogen to be ALL MEN! They don't make "men's comedies." They don't ask Ben Stiller, "Hey, Ben, what was your message for all male-kind when you pretended to have diarrhea and chased that ferret in Along Came Polly? — Amy Schumer

You're going to have an upset stomach. If you eat spicy stiff because you're upset, then you'll get diarrhea. — Kim Su-mi

Contaminated food is a major cause of diarrhea, substantially contributing to malnutrition and killing about 2.2 million people each year, most of them children. — Gro Harlem Brundtland

They eat the sewage that floats on the surface of the mass culture, digest it, and then get creative diarrhea
all at once. The turd look and smell exactly alike, and we call them this year's fashions, hit shows, books, and movies. — John Varley

Asking a sociologist to solve a problem is like prescribing an enema for diarrhea. — Saul Alinsky

Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH! — Rachel Renee Russell

Self-expression, to me, is something that you worked on, that you have mastered a skill to say something in the most artful way that you can. It's not just blurting stuff out and having verbal diarrhea. — John Leguizamo

A tiny torrent of diarrhea had popped the offending dart right back out of his gut. — Monique Happy

Drinking cow milk has been linked to iron-deficiency anemia in infants and children; it has been named as the cause of cramps and diarrhea in much of the World's population and the cause of multiple forms of allergies as well. — Frank Oski

The extraordinary triumph of the cellphone among India's poor stemmed from its ability to enable a most mundane human need, which is to chat with other people. And when the poor chat, it is not always about curing a child of diarrhea. — Manu Joseph

Throwing up was no big deal. It was a lot less painful than hemorrhoids or tooth decay, and more refined than diarrhea — Haruki Murakami

This was Jonan's boat. She had helped Nan Seller dose his entire crew against the annual diarrhea outbreak known as the winter runs — Sarah Zettel

This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?"
"I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?"
"Yes," she said.
"That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours. — Orson Scott Card

It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for? — Richard Jeni

Other players and at least one great composer - Beethoven - had lived with deafness, but hearing loss wasn't where Hugh's woes ended. There was the vertigo, the trembling, the periodic loss of vision. There was nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, galloping pulse. Worst of all was the almost constant tinnitus. He had always thought deafness meant silence. This was not true, at least not in his case. Hugh Yates had a constantly braying burglar alarm in the middle of his head. — Stephen King

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out ... and yes I'm very ticklish'. — Demetri Martin

Shit happens. Sometimes diarrhea happens. — Kallypso Masters

Weird or someone with mouth diarrhea. Depends on people's point of view, — Stephanie Witter

What the fuck was wrong with me, I wondered. I wished there was a version of Pepto Bismol for verbal diarrhea, because I'd invest in it. My — Mariana Zapata

Who exactly are we?' I asked.
The American Dreamers. There aren't too many of us left.'
I don't know if I qualify.'
You an American? Or want to be an American?'
I am an American.'
You said you were having a dream.'
It's true, I did.'
Was it the one where you're inside the girl and you are pumping her and pumping her and you are so happy but then it turns out it's not a girl, it's really one of those super poisonous box jellyfish, and it stings you and you are screaming and screaming and the sky rains the diarrhea of babies?'
The ... no, I don't think so.'
I get that sometimes. Anyway, see you around. — Sam Lipsyte

Most of the common infections - colds, flu, diarrhea - you get environmentally transmitted either in the air or on surfaces you touch. I think people under-rate surfaces. — Charles P. Gerba

I get verbal diarrhea in the writers' room. I just tell everyone a million anecdotes and stories and craziness, and we all double up on the floor laughing. — Jill Kargman

At least 50% of all children in the United States are allergic to cow's milk, many undiagnosed. Dairy products are the leading cause of food allergy, often revealed by diarrhea, constipation, and fatigue. Many cases of asthma and sinus infections are reported to be relieved and even eliminated by cutting out dairy. — Frank Oski

We have to do whatever we can to ensure that no child dies of diarrhea. — Chelsea Clinton

I sat there behind the wheel of my car, not sure what I should do, wishing I was someplace else, anyplace else, trying on shoes at Thom McAn's, filling out a credit application in a discount store, standing in front of a pay toilet stall with diarrhea and no dime. Anyplace, man. It didn't have to be Monte Carlo. Mostly I sat there wishing I was older. — Stephen King

Revolutions are 90% social diarrhea. — G. Willow Wilson

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine. — Bob Saget

The deaths of children in poor countries from diarrhea, measles, and malaria have become part of the background of the world we live in, and if we know about it at all, we are likely to believe that it is a problem that will always be with us. But that isn't so. In the last two years, we have saved a million children. In the coming years, if we all give substantially more, we can save the entire 8.8 million. — Peter Singer

Getting naked feels better some days than others. (Good: when you are vaguely tan. Bad: when you have diarrhea.) — Lena Dunham

She paid using the prettiest credit card, and then left it with the ticket seller as a gift. Along with a minor curse - a bladder infection and diarrhea - just because she was Baba Yaga, and certain things were expected. — Orson Scott Card

There's no way a person could have this much diarrhea and survive. — Christina Lauren

Every year 3.1 million Indian children die before the age of 5, mostly from diseases of poverty like diarrhea. — Nicholas D. Kristof

You're an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea. — Jason Mraz

Enough of this. Does every conversation with you have to be the director's cut? Get out of the car. — Jonathan Lethem

It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic. — Terry Pratchett

Thanks from keeping me from being a liar," said Nikolai.
"What?"
"About your having diarrhea."
"For you I'd get dysentery."
"Now that's friendship. — Orson Scott Card

Our minds are a lot like our rear-ends. Sometimes they are constipated, other times stricken with mental diarrhea, and occasionally a little bubbly. However, none of these and all of these conditions define our rear-ends or our personalities. Could contentment come from accepting all of our rocks, rumbles and runs? — Maximus Freeman

Women should know the truth. They can take it; they are adults, not children. If a mother opts for formula rather than breastfeeding, there is good evidence that her baby will score lower on IQ tests and will have a higher risk of many illnesses including some cancers, diabetes, respiratory illnesses, diarrhea and ear infections. She should know that her own risk of breast, ovarian and uterine cancer will be higher, as well as her daughter's risk of breast cancer. The mother increases her own risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and becoming overweight by "choosing" formula feeding. There is accumulating evidence that the risk of mental illness (alcoholism, ADHD, schizophrenia) is increased by not breastfeeding. A recent study suggested that even behaviour problems in adolescents are more likely if the child was formula fed. The longer the child is breastfed, the lower the risk both for the child and the mother. — Jack Newman

slanderous diarrhea of the mouth. — Joe Couch

The child mortality revolution has used vaccines, treatments for diarrhea, micronutrients, and improved nutrition to reduce the number of child deaths worldwide each year from 20 million in 1960 to 6.6 million today - even as the number of children has risen. — Nicholas D. Kristof

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that 1 enjoys it? — George Carlin

It's hurting in a place I call my skull, between my arm and my neck, near the fingers, cause of my leg, over on the other side. It hurts. Ye might wanna jab a needle in it.... I need to get my feet and ankles xrayed. I took the flu, got diarrhea, and it went to my feet. It didn't help that I dropped a piece of wood on them either. — Carolyn Jourdan

Dizziness?"
"No."
"Nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea?"
"No, no, and yuck," I said. "Dr. G, can I please be excused?"
"Not yet. How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Eleven."
"Amelie."
I scowled. ( ... ) "Sir, I'm fine. Just let me go to class. Please?"
Gunderman unhooked the blood pressure cuff from my arm and looked at me like I'd asked to borrow his credit card. "Young the lady, the fact you want to go to class gives me definite cause for concern. — Cecily White

Then you're a big loser, you don't get to finish the game, and the rest of the year will be about as much fun as a case of never-ending diarrhea, — James Patterson

The Dordogne in 1984 was the nadir. Diarrhea, moths like flying hamsters, the blowtorch heat. Awake at three in the morning on a damp and lumpy mattress. Then the storm. Like someone hammering sheets of tin. Lightning so bright it came through the pillow. In the morning sixty, seventy dead frogs turning slowly in the pool. And at the far end something larger and furrier, a cat perhaps, or the Franzetti's dog, which Katie was poking with a snorkel. (pg 53) — Mark Haddon

This was the kack's cradle, icky-poo's bassinet. It was Death and Diarrhea, singing duet. — Jack Bunbury

Diarrhea, 90 percent of which is caused by food and water contaminated by excrement, kills a child every fifteen seconds. That's more than AIDS, malaria, or measles, combined. Human feces are an impressive weapon of mass destruction. — Rose George

When I have diarrhea I sit backwards on the toilet, because I like to face my enemy before I destroy it. — Sarah Palin

Every culture can be kind of defined by what they drink in order to avoid dying of diarrhea. In China it's tea. In Africa it's milk or animal blood. In Europe it was wine and beer. — Neal Stephenson

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart. — Daniel Tosh

Have you ever noticed some of the worst sicknesses in history have a lyrical sound to them? Words like malaria, diarrhea, cholera — Emma Chase

I had thought Chicago was inevitable, like diarrhea. — John Varley

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it. — Adam Carolla

My gut isn't wrong. Except when it has diarrhea. Then it is very, very wrong. — Sara Wolf