Derek Wills Quotes & Sayings

What we call reality is a subset of accessible spaces. — Luis Villalobos

I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy. — Dana Gould

Flowers and fruit are never combined in one place: it is impossible that teeth and delicacies should exist simultaneously. — Saib Tabrizi

Cade Winston, by drinking this shot, you hereby swear to do something out of character tonight. Should you fail, you'll be cused to a lifetime filled with premature ejaculation.'
'Seriously, man?'
He held up his hands and laughed, 'Hey, the alcohol gods giveth and they taketh away. — Cora Carmack

Always first draw fresh breath after outbursts of vanity and complacency. — Franz Kafka

If you want to be found stand where the seeker seeks. — Sidney Lanier

The big question now is who will take power in Afghanistan once the Taliban is defeated. I was thinking, how about Al Gore? He's not doing anything, he needs a job, and he's already got the beard. — Jay Leno