Cute Humorous Quotes & Sayings

It felt like an eternity before he gingerly lifted himself from the table and staggered backwards. Glass shards protruded from chest to groin. The guy looked like a bloody porcupine. A cute, tall bloody porcupine. I'm tall too. Five foot ten. But he had at least four inches on me, even with my thick-heeled boots.
"What's your name?" he slurred.
While visions of reckless homicide charges danced in my head, I contemplated using an alias. Finally, I said my real name, "Sam."
"Nice to meet you, Sammers. I'm Jake," he said. — Betsy Cook Speer

I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever said."
"I'm willing to believe it's the least flirtatious thing you've ever said."
"Why are you so hard on me when I'm so nice to you?"
"Why are you so nice to me when I'm so hard on you? — Claire LaZebnik

I believe that 'love' and 'wrong' are two deeply unrelated words that should never be thrown into the same sentence together. Like 'dessert' and 'broccoli. — Cat Winters

The one that sang, old Janine, was always whispering into the g***** microphone before she sang. She'd say, 'And now we like to geeve you our impression of Vooly Voo Fransay. Eet ees the story of leetle Fransh girl who comes to a beeg ceety, just like New York, and falls een love wees a leetle boy from Brookleen. We hope you like eet.' Then, when she was all done whispering and being cute as hell, she'd sing some dopey song, half in English and half in French, and drive all the phonies in the place mad with joy. — J.D. Salinger

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. — Gilda Radner

Toddlers are germ-warfare machines in a cute package
- Debora Geary — Debora Geary

Where did you get that assault weapon?"
"Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute when you blush."
Maddie's face grew hotter, but at least he'd mistaken the reason for her embarrassment.
Zach turned his face back toward the ceiling. "That there's standard equipment, darlin'."
"There's nothing standard about that."
"I didn't hear you complaining."
"Of course not. You sprang it on me when I was mentally incompetent."
Zach laughed out loud. "That you were, sweet Maddie that you were."
Maddie and Zach — Suzie Quint

I glance down, and my eyes get big.
"What?" He glances down, realizes why my eyes are big, and shrugs his shoulders. "It's morning."
"It's cute. Can I keep it? — Jillian Dodd

To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans — Zoe Marriott

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct."
"Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages."
"I doubt it."
"Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him.
"Not seriously."
"Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know.
Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?"
"Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats. — E. Lockhart

Nice try, mister, but being cute won't save you. — C.J. Milbrandt

You know, I can't wait for her to gets married because hell is made of fire and she said it would be frozen before she gots married again." ~ Anna Kate — J.T. Cheyanne

But Princess Magnolia wore glass slippers on weekdays. Princess Magnolia was afraid of snails. Sunlight made Princess Magnolia sneeze. And at the moment, the Princess in Black was hog-tying a monster. — Shannon Hale