Crazy Funny Random Quotes & Sayings

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow — Josh Stern

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months — Josh Stern

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried — Josh Stern

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything ... .but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco — Josh Stern

Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub — Josh Stern

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs — Josh Stern

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

Are people who have been crazy held to unfair standards?
Of course, but it's not in your best interest to complain. If you're paranoid and people are looking at you funny it's best to let it pass. Psychotic people have an uncanny knack for making their own worst dreams come true. Depressing things happen to depressed people way beyond what you would expect from random distribution. — Mark Vonnegut

Who is your favorite character in the series? Or ... if that's too hard, why do you like each one and who drives you crazy?
Puck: Well, she likes me best, of course. I'm the handsome, charming one.
Ash: Yes, that's why she gave you your own book. Oh, wait.
Puck: No one asked you, ice-boy. — Julie Kagawa

Is he crazy? No one has ever told me my doodles are good, not that I flash them around or anything. Gen likes them, but she also thinks vampire romances are literature and sings along to 'Islands in the Stream.' Her tastes are dubious. She's not a reliable source. — Jules Barnard

I like to skip prewriting. I love just jumping into the actual writing process. Then I revise/edit and fix what I need to. Then the following steps; proofread and publish. Of course before you just go into writing, it would be a good idea to do some charts of each chapter ... what you would want each one to be about and have a character list with their personalities and how they will come into play in your book. I mean, you wouldn't just want to go all crazy and jot down all kinds of random stuff at once ... trust me, you'll go crazy. With writing, you take it as it comes, go with your own flow.-Nina Jean Slack — Nina Jean Slack

What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! — Hunter S. Thompson

I envy the man to snatch him up. This will be the only time in life I'm siding with Freud and experiencing 'penis envy'. There will never be a repeat. Can't be associated with too much crazy, I'm juggling enough on my own. — Ambrosea Brown