Quotes & Sayings About Couples Fighting

Everybody hates dependence, and that's why couples are continuously fighting, not knowing why they are fighting. They have to meditate over it, they have to contemplate over it, why they are fighting. Everything is just an excuse to fight. If you change one excuse, another excuse will be found; if no excuse is left then excuses will be invented, but somehow the fight has to be there. — Rajneesh

Most of the time when couples argue, it's not really about the thing they're fighting about; there's a deeper reason why they're arguing. — Lisa Kleypas

It's remarkable how many couples can precisely describe their particular pattern of painful fighting, and claim to be helpless to change it. — Harriet Lerner

She never saw the point in fighting with a man who was not going to reform. Acceptance is supposed to be a good thing - Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Also compromise, as every couples therapist will tell you. But the cost was high - the damping of expectation, the dwindling of spirit, the resignation that comes to replace enthusiasm, the cynicism that supplants hope. The moldering that goes unnoticed and unchecked. There — A.S.A Harrison

When all the fights stop, so does the passion. — Crystal Woods

If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value if one does not value oneself. Toxic shame is multigenerational. It is passed from one generation to the next. Shame-based people find other shame-based people and get married. As each member of a couple carries the shame from his or her own family system, their marriage will be grounded in their shame-core. The major outcome of this will be a lack of intimacy. It's difficult to let someone get close to you if you feel defective and flawed as a human being. Shame-based couples maintain nonintimacy through poor communication, nonproductive circular fighting, games, manipulation, vying for control, withdrawal, blaming and confluence. Confluence is the agreement never to disagree. Confluence creates pseudointimacy. — John Bradshaw

Successful couples learn the secret of fighting for their relationship rather than against one another. — Bill Farrel

For many sex-driven couples, fighting was simply foreplay. — Laurelin Paige

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV. — George Lopez

I see couples fighting about the stupidest things. You just have to rise above everything. — Sammy Hagar

I have to wonder at what point the people fighting to protect marriage will realize that traditional couples haven't exactly been doing too good a job of it so far. — Daniel Pearce

The band in the ballroom announced the cover of a special request, and after a pause, the woman's voice sang out the breathy first line of Etta James's "At Last." Chairs barked as guests rose to greet the champion of all wedding songs, the one that always brought indifferent or fighting or estranged couples to the dance floor for momentary reconciliation. — Mira Jacob

All right, all right," he said, with that gesture I'd come to hate: two open palms facing me and patting the air, as if pushing me away, pushing me down, pushing any tears I might be preparing to cry back into their ducts. — Kathleen Rooney

Too many people think that when a couple doesn't fight that they are strong, but I have never bought that. The question should never be "do you fight," but "can you fight," because fights happen, that's just the way it is. What's important is how you handle it. The strongest couples aren't the ones who avoid fighting, but the ones who do fight and are able to grow from it, and come out on the other side with something better than they had before. — Julianna Scott

People - I mean couples - don't like to talk much about fighting. It's not attractive. No one likes to admit it or describe it or lay claim to it. We want our coupledoms to look ... sanitized and pretty and worthy of admiration. And anger blasts are ugly. But, I think that is a crock. There is a kind of fighting that isn't ugly. There is a way for anger to come our as an energy you let loose and away. The trick is to give it a form, and not a human target. The trick is to transform rage. — Lidia Yuknavitch

Food Throwers: Begun usually by estranged couples, once this victual flinging starts, everyone will do it ... Should your dinner party have become an out of control concussion match with opponents catapulting croutons and petits pois across the mahogany, don't fight it, go with it. And when you have the desire to quell the uprising approach the original perpetrator from behind. There, slowly crown her with the contents of the fresh fruit salad bowl. But be warned. Although this immobilizes and rivits everyone's attention it also gives them new ideas. — J.P. Donleavy

Couples that do save have stronger, more stable, less stressful unions. In other words, you don't want to be fighting about saving; you just want to be saving, period. — Jean Chatzky

We had twenty eight days together but it feels like a lifetime. She's right, without her it feels like I'm being strangled and fighting for air. I can't just sit here day after day wishing I could at least see her face. -Colin — K. Lars

Marriage is the lightning rod that absorbs anxiety and stress from all other sources, past and present. When marriage has a firm foundation of solid friendship and mutual respect, it can tolerate a fair amount of raw emotion. A good fight can clear the air, and it's nice to know we can survive conflict and even learn from it. Many couples, however, get trapped in endless rounds of fighting and blaming that they don't know how to get out of. When fights go unchecked and unrepaired, they can eventually erode love and respect, which are the bedrock of any successful relationship. — Harriet Lerner