Cosby Quotes & Sayings
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Top Cosby Quotes
I wanted to shove her typewriter on the floor. I hated it and I hated her. I wanted to be a Cosby. — Augusten Burroughs
I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children. — Bill Cosby
I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job ... and I don't want it! — Bill Cosby
My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair. — Bill Cosby
Our neighbors were so excited when a black family moved in that they got them a welcome basket with the first three seasons of The Cosby Show on DVD. — Flynn Meaney
If you know two languages, the level of your intelligence
is multiplied a hundredfold in other people's eyes. — Bill Cosby
A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. — Bill Cosby
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl ... there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go ... ' ... if it hadn't been for his head ... — Bill Cosby
The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath. — Bill Cosby
What we need is for people to realize - 'I want to raise my kid. I want to go back and get my three kids. I want to take on that responsibility. I want to love my children.' — Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. — Bill Cosby
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes. — Bill Cosby
If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh. — Bill Cosby
People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain. — Bill Cosby
There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why, a network spokesperson said, 'Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby.' — Conan O'Brien
You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap! — Bill Cosby
Working with Bill Cosby was incredible. I was lucky to be a part of that. — Tatyana Ali
There are times my stories become - what I feel - not only accessible to hearing me on television, but they make wonderful reading. — Bill Cosby
'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say. — Bill Cosby
The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them. — Bill Cosby
When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra. — Bill Cosby
In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday! — Bill Cosby
Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. — Bill Cosby
We've got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch. — Bill Cosby
I'm supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty," I told her.
Without a moment's hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: "It depends on if you're drinking or pouring. — Bill Cosby
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. — Bill Cosby
In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby. — Tina Fey
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven. — Bill Cosby
Reunited with strawberry, raspberry and blueberry, I am berry, berry happy to be back working with JELL-O. — Bill Cosby
Mr. Cosby wanted to do a show not about an upper-middle-class black family, but an upper-middle-class family that happened to be black. Though it sounds like semantics, they're very different approaches. — Malcolm-Jamal Warner
I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there. — Bill Cosby
Don't talk yourself into not being you. — Bill Cosby
I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap. — Bill Cosby
There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. — Bill Cosby
Some call-in moderators are neutral and courteous. Then there's Rush Limbaugh, who is funny and pompous and a scapegoater and hatemonger. His popularity could cause you to draw some terrible conclusions about the state of mind of the American people. It helps to remember that Bill Cosby is popular, too. — Donella Meadows
I'm old, not dead. — Bill Cosby
You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful. — Bill Cosby
I think I am a good running back, but I'm really not that fast. There is only one thing I can do, that is throw a cross-body block. Picture perfect. I love it. Not that good at pass blocking. — Bill Cosby
At the end of the day, I want to be part of the same conversation as Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor. — Kevin Hart
I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver. — Bill Cosby
When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away. — Bill Cosby
What people are tired of, the people who agree with me, what they're tired of is listening to that sound, the sound of the people who've given up. — Bill Cosby
My dad came over to the house ... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children ... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story. — Bill Cosby
These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. — Bill Cosby
All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right — Bill Cosby
There should be marches in every neighborhood every day telling the people about the negativity of drugs and how the drugs help us to behave negatively. — Bill Cosby
On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar ... and deliver the following acceptance speech: I would like to thank my parents, first of all, for letting me live. — Bill Cosby
When you become senile, you won't know it. — Bill Cosby
Listen to John Coltrane enough and after two bars, just two bars at any place, and you know that's him. We all have signature things that happen to be similar that you can predict and you try to stay away from that except the rhythms: those pauses, they're part of my signature, the part where I know when I say nothing, I already painted enough, led enough and I don't even have to say anything. But those pauses don't belong to me. Jack Benny was one of the first guys in comedy to make the anticipation so great that during the pause people start to laugh before the execution. — Bill Cosby
I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. — Bill Cosby
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. — Bill Cosby
You come to my comedy show to be entertained. — Bill Cosby
I do think it's important for black writers to show that we too can make it into the mainstream. Growing up, I didn't just watch The Cosby Show, I watched Growing Pains and Family Ties too. We can tell those stories too. — Lena Waithe
Eddie Murphy did '48 Hrs.' because that was the only movie offered to him. And he killed it. Bill Cosby did 'I Spy' because that was the TV show he was offered. But now, there are networks dedicated to comedy, and the Internet ... it's so easy for comedians to not do things that aren't true to them. — Jerrod Carmichael
One of my favorite guys when I was young ... I've always loved Bill Cosby. I've always wanted to direct him in something. — Faizon Love
We need to have Bill Cosby month in Philadelphia. — Chaka Fattah
I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them. — Bernie Mac
The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure. — Bill Cosby
Growing up, I loved Bill Cosby. — Robin Thicke
A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child. — Bill Cosby
Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. — Bill Cosby
It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest. — Bill Cosby
College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things. — Bill Cosby
If you have a question about anything, the answer can be found in a book somewhere in the library. — Bill Cosby
Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy. — Billy Crystal
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. — Chris Rock
There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess. — Bill Cosby
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful. — Bill Cosby
Come sit, dear," the old woman said. "We were just discussing kelpies and changelings."
I turned a delightfully amused face at Ronan, hoping to see him embarrassed to be caught in a world of fantasy, but his face was impassive, completely unperturbed. Those were the hardest boys to ignore: the ones that weren't concerned with your opinion of them, not afraid to be caught listening to fairytales. — Annie Cosby
A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise. — Bill Cosby
Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point ... and they're still yelling. — Bill Cosby
Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind. — Bill Cosby
I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal. — Bill Cosby
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. — Bill Cosby
I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. — Bill Cosby
Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass. — Bill Cosby
In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee. — Bill Cosby
Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire. — Bill Cosby
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. - BILL COSBY — Timothy Ferriss
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. — Bill Cosby
Karl Malden was a good friend of mine, and he said, 'You draw the people to you,' and I guess that's what I do. — Bill Cosby
What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in. — Bill Cosby
There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long. — Bill Cosby
The serve was invented so that the net could play. — Bill Cosby
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. — Bill Cosby
Braxton Cosby's stories feel personal and well thought-out. I'm happy to welcome this entertaining writer to the YA science fiction field. I look forward to more of his work! — Tananarive Due
As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird. — Bill Cosby
I want to affect culture. I want to have my mark on everything. I give examples of people like Bill Cosby, Quincy Jones - those are the people who I look up to. The game wouldn't be the same without them. What happens in the course of 5 years isn't really important to me. I care about what they'll say about me in 50 years. — Nick Cannon
I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking. — Bill Cosby
Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. — Bill Cosby