Condell Quotes & Sayings

We know they have nothing to do with Islam because our politicians keep telling us that, and they are all Islamic scholars. (They are, aren't they?) Yes, the violence is coming exclusively from Muslims, but only because their religion (the one that has nothing to do with Islam) tells them to kill unbelievers, meaning people who don't follow the religion with a knife to our throat that has nothing to do with Islam. — Pat Condell

This guy (Pat Robertson) obviously wants to be a prophet so bad. I wonder if he walks around at home dressed up in a bed sheet, talking Aramaic, maybe parting the waters in the bathtub occasionally, just to keep in practice? — Pat Condell

Here in the UK, we've now got an evangelical television channel - it's the kind of thing that will be very familiar to everyone in the United States, especially if you've ever turned on your TV set on a Sunday morning, and seen one holy man after another, urging you to send money so that Jesus can buy a new cadillac. Apparently, Jesus can't save the world until he's been properly kitted out with a million-dollar mansion, and a private jet - some small print in the Gospels that we must have missed. — Pat Condell

One person I do feel a little sorry for, though, is the Archbishop of Canterbury, the most important clergyman in Britain and he's only got two lousy palaces to live in. What sort of life is that for a man of God? I bet if Jesus came back, even he'd be embarrassed for him; I bet he wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. — Pat Condell

Freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of identity. This is my Holy Trinity, each one an intrinsic aspect of my god: Freedom, the Holiest of Holies. Yes it bloody well is. It is absolutely sacred and inviolable, beyond any negotiation or compromise, now and forever. Amen. — Pat Condell

Freedom requires religion like a slug requires salt — Pat Condell

If you're looking at the Bible for a guide to living a compassionate, wise and humane life, well, frankly you've got more chance of finding a lap dancing club in Mekka or a virgin in a catholic orphanage. — Pat Condell

Q: Prove God doesn't exist. A: That's a tough one. Show me how it's done by proving Zeus and Apollo don't exist, and I'll use your method. — Pat Condell

In a democracy, of course, you always get a choice:
Do you want to be governed by the red or by the blue? It's entirely up to you.
Do you want to be patronized or condescended to by liars or by crooks? You get to choose.
Would you prefer your fundamental values to be insulted or ignored by con men or by charlatans?
In short, do you want your influence to be zero or nil?
And when would you like to be listened to, never or not at all?
It's your choice. Do you want some more choice?
Take it or leave it. Now there's a real choice. — Pat Condell

You are nothing like the others. You aren't like anyone I've ever met. I swear it. Now that I've had a taste of you, no one else will ever be enough for me. I need you...only you. Alex, you have my heart. — Brenda Huber

On the other hand, and let's face it, there's always another hand, unless you're a Saudi Arabian shoplifter of course, hurt feelings can be quite traumatic. I've heard that it can take seconds, sometimes even minutes, to get over it. — Pat Condell

What is it all for? What is the purpose of this activity? And why is it so profitable? Common sense suggests that if a closed circle of people continuously exchange bits of paper with each other, the total value of these bits of paper will not change much, if at all. If some members of that closed circle make extraordinary profits, these profits can only be made at the expense of other members of the same circle. Common sense suggests that this activity leaves the value of the traded assets little changed, and cannot, taken as a whole, make money. What, exactly, is wrong with this common-sense perspective? — John Kay

When customers' expectations change faster than your willingness or ability to serve them, you can be sure they'll be someone else's customers soon. — Ron Kaufman

But it seems to me that if God had intended for you to cover your face then, in His wisdom, He would have provided you with a flap of skin for the purpose. — Pat Condell

What is the difference between a Doctor of Medicine and a Doctor of Theology? One prescribes drugs, while the other might as well be on drugs. — Pat Condell

Only we don't call it 'ignorance', we call it 'faith'. What a horrible little word that is - faith - exuding as it does its fake aura of purity and virtue while fronting some of the ugliest ideas this planet has ever seen. Closing people's hearts when it should be opening them. Making them proud of things they should be ashamed of. And ashamed of things they should be proud of. — Pat Condell

Nobody should be compelled to respect an ideology that doesn't respect them. — Pat Condell

A writer leads a hyphenated-life with words — Munia Khan

And I can see that everything about this God has been purposely designed to poison our experience of life on earth, not to enhance it, to keep us fearful, to suppress knowledge, to curtail freedom and creativity, and to celebrate death. It's nothing less than the sanctified dumbing-down of the human race. And demanding respect for it is frankly an insult that deserves to be repaid with considerable interest. — Pat Condell

Use their tactics if you feel strongly enough. Make a nuisance of yourself. Make an official complaint. Take it to a tribunal. As an atheist youre part of a minority whose beliefs are constantly ignored and marginalised while religious prejudice is pandered to and encouraged, and you have every right to be offended by that ... Remember, one person on their own cant do much, but a million people each doing a little every day can change things very quickly — Pat Condell

The Internet is not so different from a highly interactive videogame with competitors set to be offed. — Audacia Ray

Miranda: You say you were my guardian angel. Does that mean you watched me all the time? Like when I got my period or doctored a zit or took a shower or-
Zachary: I'm an angel, not a Peeping Tom. — Cynthia Leitich Smith

Being called close-minded by religious people is a bit like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas. — Pat Condell

According to current birthrate projections, France will be a majority Muslim country anyway in about 50 years ... I get a lot of e-mails from Americans who think that Europeans are spineless. And I think they're right. — Pat Condell

Well it's a gloomy, rainy old day to be here in London, but it could be worse; I could be in Saudi Arabia where men are men, and women are cattle. Can I say that? — Pat Condell

If pleasure is a circumstantial enjoyment, happiness refers to a deeper sense of fulfilment not dependent on circumstance, and which is usually accompanied by qualities such as peacefulness, purposefulness and benevolence. Unlike pleasure, which requires situations to be constantly renewed or upgraded, happiness is a state of mind that grows the more we experience it. — David Michie

What we do have for Shakespeare are his plays - all of them but one or two - thanks in very large part to the efforts of his colleagues Henry Condell and John Heminges, who put together a more or less complete volume of his work after his death - the justly revered First Folio. — Bill Bryson

People keep framing this as a religious freedom issue, but there's a difference between practicing your religion - which everyone has the right to do - and rubbing your religion in people's faces as a triumphalist political statement, which is what's happening here. — Pat Condell

The best thing about religion is that it's so transparently absurd it can't possibly last forever. I'm convinced it will only take a small shift in human consciousness for it to be laughed off the planet, and I hope I'm still around when that happens. — Pat Condell

Sharia ... is, of course, invalid because it's God's Law, and God doesn't exist. — Pat Condell

It does seem quite ironic to me that the very people who clearly have made no attempt to think for themselves are always the most vocal in demanding respect for their "ideas". — Pat Condell

Religion disapproves of original thought the way Dracula does sunlight. — Pat Condell

The fact that a Jewish state needs to exist at all - and it does need to exist - is an indictment of all humanity, and especially the Catholic Church, whose centuries-long programme of aggressive Jew hatred has been ingrained right into the European psyche so that it takes almost nothing to bring it out. — Pat Condell

There are two kinds of taste in the appreciation of imaginative literature: the taste for emotions of surprise and the taste for emotions of recognition. — Henry James