Completely Offensive Videos Quotes & Sayings

Of the countless ways to feel old in your 40s, perhaps none is quite as perplexing as seeing a young person trendily decked out in 1980s-style garb and saying to yourself, 'I can't believe that look is back in style. It was bad enough the first time around!' — Meghan Daum

I go to look up the elevation of the Golden Gate bridge on Wikipedia, and an hour later I'm watching four guys in lucha libre masks fuck a dolphin. — Jon Konrath

What do you think of human intelligence?" asked Mavis Pellington lamely.
"Of whose intelligence in particular?" asked Tobermory coldly.
"Oh, well, mine for instance," said Mavis with a feeble laugh.
"You put me in an embarrassing position," said Tobermory, whose tone and attitude certainly did not suggest a shred of embarrassment. "When your inclusion in this house-party was suggested Sir Wilfrid protested that you were the most brainless woman of his acquaintance, and that there was a wide distinction between hospitality and the care of the feeble-minded. Lady Blemley replied that your lack of brain-power was the precise quality which had earned you your invitation, as you were the only person she could think of who might be idiotic enough to buy their old car. You know, the one they call 'The Envy of Sisyphus,' because it goes quite nicely up-hill if you push it. — Saki

Get prepared what people will do, get prepared what I will do. — Deyth Banger

Oh, Daja," moaned Jory, "you sound just like my parents." She ran from the schoolroom.
"Well, there's no reason to insult me, "muttered Daja, half offended. — Tamora Pierce

It is possible to wake up very quickly, to become enlightened, or you can do it gradually. — Frederick Lenz

Often I feel I say too much. — Morrissey

I'm a very sympathetic person, but that doesn't always come across in my work because I'm too busy being mad at everything. — Lydia Lunch

Just because I don't have on a silly black costume and carry a silly broom and wear a silly black hat, doesn't mean that I'm not a witch. I'm a witch all the time and not just on Halloween. — E.L. Konigsburg

Contentment leads to having more.
Discontentment leads to wanting more.
The contented man is rich, even if poor.
The discontented man is poor, even if rich. — Matshona Dhliwayo

It's not what you're faced with that's the problem, it's what you do with the situation. Your experience is not the important thing; what really matters is what you do with your experience. — Chris Oyakhilome

Kissing is like cake. It's nice but you don't always feel like having it. — J. Theron