Comical Quotes & Sayings

I said, "Here's the deal. You're going to turn around and make sure we don't break our asses. I'll lean my back into you and take your lead. If I pull the trigger, it's going to be louder than hell on a Saturday night. Start running unless I grab you for extra fire power."
Teta's head bobbed and his sombrero dipped up and down. It was almost comical.
Almost.
"On a count of three, start walking."
"Let's just start now. — Hunter Shea

Nodded to the birds, a dozen of them in a black line, wise-eyed and watching. The town-square ran red. Blood in the gutters, blood on the flagstones, blood in the fountain. The corpses posed as corpses do. Some comical, reaching — Mark Lawrence

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant

She realized he'd stopped to change his coat and it clung to him in perfectly tailored lines. He stood leaning on his cane, hair neatly pushed back from his pale brow, a black glass boy of deadly edges.
The look of surprise on Haskell's face was nearly comical. Then he started to laugh. "Well, I'll be a son of a bitch, Brekker. You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met. — Leigh Bardugo

A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought. — Richelle Mead

It was never a good idea to laugh at a God as powerful as Hades. Although, the sight of him with cream-colored paint smeared in his raven dark hair and smudged on his nose was comical. "Already went that route. Me bedroom ended up a nasty shade of chartreuse. Took me a whole week to do it again." Hades sniffed, rubbed his nose, and looked at the paint on his fingers. "Damn it. It's in my hair, too, isn't it? — Casey Wyatt

The more amorous the President became, the more his fatuousness made him intolerable: there is nothing in the world as comical as a lawyer in love - he is the perfect picture of gaucheness, impertinence and ineptitude. — Marquis De Sade

The term comics long ago became obsolete and inaccurate. It merely defined the content of the early joke-based comical strips. Sequential Art is a more accurate description of the form. I first suggested it because I believed something needed to be done to correct the feeling of inferiority by artists and writers in this field. — Will Eisner

When he saw Tyler, his face went serious, which struck me as comical. Andy had always been protective, but when it came to me having anything to do with guys, he felt it was his duty to inform and protect me from the ones he thought were most like himself. When I turned thirteen, he pulled me aside and we had his version of 'the talk,' which mostly consisted of a bunch of 'uhs' and 'ums,' but I got the gist of his speech: boys only wanted one thing, and I shouldn't give it to them until I was at least thirty-three. And married. — Jessi Kirby

I was afraid I sounded a bit comical with all my threats. As if I needed a mustache to twirl like some sort of ancient villain. — Diana Peterfreund

Somebody thinking that they can make noise intimidate me is comical. — Carl Froch

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

Life is a comical business, and there is
nothing funnier than love traveling through time. — Mario Puzo

When you're a solo artist and you have a band on tour you have to pay the band some salary. You don't realise the expenses, the way they add up SO quickly. But thank god I'm not a money person. So it doesn't really bug me at all, I mean it's more comical to me ... — Marnie Stern

Dimitri held up a car seat with one hand, which was almost comical. "We can go whenever you're ready. Lana gave us this and swears it's easy to install."
Rose laughed at that. "Oh, this I've got to see, comrade. Dimitri Belikov, badass god, installing a baby's car seat. — Richelle Mead

And walking back from the river I remember the galling loneliness of my adolescence, from which I do not seem to have completely escaped. It is the sense of the voyeur, the lonely, lonely boy with no role in life but to peer in at the lighted windows of other people's contentment and vitality. It seems comical
farcical
that, having been treated so generously, I should be struck with this image of a kid in the rain walking along the road shoulders of East Milton. — John Cheever

Boxing is always serious. Nothing comical or funny about boxing. — Juan Manuel Marquez

And Toronto's own Sergio Trujillo has redone his choreography totally, showing all the comical invention that we know he's capable of. — Richard Ouzounian

The idea that we're somehow centrally important to the planet's existence is pretty comical - although I'd like us to be. — Dave Matthews

To Miss Cooper
Cousin,
Conscious of the Charming Character which in every Country, and every Clime in Christendom is Cried, Concerning you, with Caution and Care I Commend to your Charitable Criticism this Clever Collection of Curious Comments, which have been Carefully Culled, Collected and Classed by your Comical Cousin
The Author — Jane Austen

The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal. — Matthew Quick

What is the world coming to, with these modern women? A man can't tell them what to do. — Tessa Dare

It's okay to laugh, you know. The earth's not going to split open. You're not going to hell. Believe me. If there's a hell, I'll be there ahead of you, and they'll be too busy with me to even check you in. — Jennifer Niven

The old Mauser was too long, too big, and too heavy for a child. A child's small arm could not reach freely for the trigger, and he had difficulty taking aim. Modern design has solved these problems, eliminated the inconveniences. The dimensions of weapons are now perfectly suited to a boy's physique, so much so that in the hands of tall, massive men, the new guns appear somewhat comical and childish. — Ryszard Kapuscinski

All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two young men rushing about in mysterious formations, and whatever he brought in his flask. — Robert Benchley

Y'all mythological niggas is comical,
The astronomical is comin' thru like tha flu bombin' you ...
And embalmin' in your crew, too.
With the musical, mystical, magical, you know how I do. — Keith Murray

Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late. — Bryan Davis

That women were more spiritual, more sacred than men. I still believe that about women. Is that, too, comical? — Kurt Vonnegut

When a bookworm finally decides to leave the house, perhaps to explore some literary destination in one of her novels, she will be surprised to know that there is a volatile, often antagonistic force in the real world known as the weather. — Joyce Rachelle

We ought not to speak only about the economics of globalization, but about the psychology of globalization. It's like the psychology of a battered woman being faced with her husband again and being asked to trust him again. That's what is happening. We are being asked by the countries that invented nuclear weapons and chemical weapons and apartheid and modern slavery and racism - countries that have perfected the gentle art of genocide, that colonized other people for centuries - to trust them when they say that they believe in a level playing field and the equitable distribution of resources and in a better world. It seems comical that we should even consider that they really mean what they say. — Arundhati Roy

There is a notion that complete impartiality is the most fitting and indeed the normal disposition for true exegesis, because it guarantees a complete absence of prejudice. For a short time, around 1910, this idea threatened to achieve almost canonical status in Protestant theology. But now we can quite calmly describe it as merely comical. — Karl Barth

The drum, at any rate, from its martial voice and notable physiological effect, nay, even from its cumbrous and comical shape, stands alone among the instruments of noise. — Robert Louis Stevenson

You know what H.L. Mencken said one time about religious people? He said he'd been greatly misunderstood. He said he didn't hate them. He simply found them comical. — Kurt Vonnegut

You're welcome to as much wine as you can drink, Ares."
... [Ares] watched two bare-breasted women stroll by. "Am I welcome to your worshippers as well?"
"If they'll have you. Force yourself on anyone, though, and the cat gets to gnaw on your anatomy." Dionysos nodded to Agria, who prowled around the crowd. "Those are the rules."
Ares smirked ... "No problem there. I'm very persuasive."
Hermes shook his head at Dionysos and mouthed in comical exaggeration, *No, he's not.* — Molly Ringle

I find it ironic to read stories about myself which have never occurred and are simply so absurd that they are comical. At other times, it is very painful to be so misinterpreted and vilified. — Frederick Lenz

... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these. — Amit Chaudhuri

Vitality, understood both somatically and mentally, is itself the medium that contains a gradient between more and less. It therefore contains the vertical component that guides ascents within itself, and has no need of additional external or metaphysical attractors. That God is supposedly dead is irrelevant in this context. With or without God, each person will only get as far as their form carries them.
Naturally 'God', during the time of his effective cultural representation, was the most convincing attractor for those forms of life and practice which strove 'towards Him' - and this towards-Him was identical to 'upwards'. Nietzsche's concern to preserve vertical tension after the death of God proves how seriously he took his task as the 'last metaphysician', without overlooking the comical aspect of his mission. He had found his great role as a witness to the vertical dimension without God. — Peter Sloterdijk

You dare quarrel with me Doerwyne?

She wrinkled her nose. "It's not quarreling to express an opinion'"

"Women don't have opinions."

"Then I must be a man, because I have plenty. — Georgia Fox

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. — Carroll Bryant

There followed one of those comical interludes in which the jihadists were confused about what to do next and fell to bitter recriminations. — Neal Stephenson

What are you doing out here all alone?" Alex didn't hide the surprise in her tone as she stepped into her friend's path. The question caught Ella unaware and, with an extraordinarily loud shriek, she jumped into the air, terrified. The sight was so comical that Alex doubled over with welcome laughter. When she straightened again, Ella was holding her hand to her chest, waiting for her heart to stop racing. She said sternly, "That wasn't as amusing as you seem to think." Alex smirked at her friend. "That's because you were on the wrong end of the hilarity. You are incredibly well met, Ella. — Sarah MacLean

There were umpires everywhere, men who said who was winning or losing the theoretical battle, who was alive adn who was dead.
The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.
Remembering this incident years later, Billy was struck by what a Tralfamadorian adventure with death that had been, to be dead and to eat at the same time. — Kurt Vonnegut

I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in. — Dannika Dark

The other night I took her on-out of pity-and what do you think the crazy bitch had done to herself? She had shaved it clean ... not a speck of hair on it. Did you ever have a woman who shaved her twat? It's repulsive, ain't it? And it's funny, too. Sort of mad like. It doesn't look like a twat any more: it's like a dead clam or something." He describes to me how, his curiosity aroused, he got out of bed and searched for his flashlight. "I made her hold it open and I trained the flashlight on it. You should have seen me ... it was comical. I got so worked up about it that I forgot all about her. I never in my life looked at a cunt so seriously. — Henry Miller

If you ever watched 'Hercules,' you can see that it was made in a comical way for the most part. I remember getting lots of letters from kids around the world saying that the show helped them curb their temper and not look for trouble and just walk away from it because that was the stronger thing to do. — Kevin Sorbo

They called him a comical genius and carried his stories carefully home, and they wondered at how the stories spilled out on the way, for they never sounded the same repeated in their own kitchens. — John Steinbeck

It's almost comical that astronauts are stereotyped as daredevils and cowboys. As a rule, we're highly methodical and detail-oriented. Our passion isn't for thrills but for the grindstone, and pressing our noses to it. — Chris Hadfield

Before Dwayne entered his inner office, he read one of many comical signs which Francine had put up on the wall in order to amuse people, to remind them of what they so easily forgot: that people didn't have to be serious all the time. — Kurt Vonnegut

As the years went by and age overtook her, there was something comical yet touching in her bedraggled appearance on this awesome occasion - the small, hunched-over figure, her studied absorption in the implausible notion that there would be yet another spring, oblivious to the ending of her own days, which she knew perfectly well was near at hand, sitting there with her detailed chart under those dark skies in the dying October, calmly plotting the resurrection. - E. B. White — Katharine S. White

I paraphrase Aristotle: If you want to be comical, write about people to whom the audience can feel superior; if you want to be tragical, write about at least one person to whom the audience is bound to feel inferior, and no fair having human problems solved by dumb luck or heavenly intervention. — Kurt Vonnegut

All plays stem from personal experience. I was reading psychoanalytic lit for a couple of years, obsessively, in depth, and I got involved in analyzing everyone around me ... Eventually, all my friends' eyes began to glaze over when I started talking this way, and I got the hint that there might be something comical in it. — John Patrick Shanley

I grew up in a family of filmmakers, so I always wanted to make films about animals, especially comical films. Something about animals amuses me. And they have a great mystery. It's the same mystique some people might feel looking at the stars or the ocean. — Isabella Rossellini

The whole group represented a powerful picture: Ivan Nikiforovich standing in the middle of the room in all his unadorned beauty! The woman, her mouth gaping and with a most senseless and fearful look on her face! Ivan Ivanovich with one arm raised aloft, the way Roman tribunes are portrayed! This was an extraordinary moment! a magnificent spectacle! And yet there was only one spectator: this was the boy in the boundless frock coat, who stood quite calmly and cleaned his nose with his finger. — Nikolai Gogol

I cherish the greatest respect towards everybody's religious obligations, never mind how comical, — Herman Melville

The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal. — Kurt Vonnegut

A bit o' bread's what I like from one year's end to the other; but men's stomachs are made so comical, they want a change
they do, I know, God help 'em. — George Eliot

Laugh at yourself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously. — Og Mandino

We made it back to the airport without getting mugged, stoned, shot at, pounced on, bombed, shelled, garroted, gassed, pitched into, caught in a cross fire, sniped at, blockaded, napalmed, or trip-wired. No one even hit us with a water balloon. — Daniel Quinn

Only if we are secure in our beliefs can we see the comical side of the universe. — Flannery O'Connor

He looked really good. Pure temptation. He was so close. So warm. And probably still hard for her beneath the blankets and the sweatpants she could now see he wore.
"Marshal your thoughts, woman," Aidan pleaded with a comical grimace. "You're broadcasting, and this is getting a little uncomfortable. — Dianne Duvall

Like last night I had a sequence with a gun and, to be honest, for me to be threatening with a gun and not be comical is quite hard. — Phil Collins

On 'Lab Rats,' I read the script probably three or four times before we ever even do a table read because I want to be completely prepared. And I want to know exactly which beats I have to hit and where I need to make something comical. Some lines need a little more than others do just to get the point across, to get the joke to be funny. — Billy Unger

The cynicism that regards hero worship as comical is always shadowed by a sense of physical inferiority — Yukio Mishima

Acetylene
Scythe spinning slowly over your hospital bed,
Catching lashes of light with each turn,
You're slowly disappearing, lost from my sight,
As AIDs consumes you, stem to stern.

Jaw slackened, mouth open in comical pose,
Like Einstein's poster with the lolling tongue.
Gravitas gone, morphine has softened your throes,
Your opera's more Falstaff than Gotterdammerung.

I shave you, trim your overgrown nails,
I read your favorite poet, Stephen Crane.
'A rip-tooth of the sky's acetylene,'
You nod off, hearing only the rain. — Beryl Dov

How strange," she said, "not to recognize one's own face."
"You have no cause for complaint," Grant said huskily. Even bruised and pale and ravaged, her face was incomparable.
"Do you think so?" She stared into the looking glass without a trace of self-satisfactionshe had displayed at the ball. *That* Vivien had had no doubt of her many attractions. This woman was far less confident.
"Everyone thinks so. You're known as one of the great beauties of London."
"I don't see why." Catching his skeptical expression, she added, "Truly, I'm not fishing for compliments, it's just... seems a very ordinary face." She produced a comical, clownish expression, like a child experimenting with her reflection. A shaken laugh escaped her. "It doesn't seem to belong to me. — Lisa Kleypas

The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, "absolutely fine doctor, but I'm terribly lonely without myself. — Benny Bellamacina

Do people always act this way around you? (Kiara)
You should have seen the reactions when I wore a League uniform. Those were actually comical. Except for the ones who lost control of their bowels. Then it was just messy. (Nykyrian) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Any ad consciously attended to is comical. Ads are not meant for conscious consumption. They are intended as subliminal pills for the subconsious in order to exercise an hypnotic spell, especially on sociologists. — Marshall McLuhan

In Mexico, I first encountered the attitude that was missing from the optimistic sense of living in the United States: a tragic sense of life. Such a sense doesn't force us into a somber cone of depression and futility; it urges the opposite. The tragic sense opens a human being to the exuberant joys of the present. To laughter, carnal ity, the comical varieties of love, to music and art, to the small human glories of the day. — Pete Hamill

Let's talk about rape for a moment. Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards. Off my chest. — Jeffrey Rowland

You study Yoga in India, Liss?" he asks. "Yes, Ketut." "You can do Yoga," he says, "but Yoga too hard." Here, he contorts himself in a cramped lotus position and squinches up his face in a comical and constipated-looking effort. Then he breaks free and laughs, asking, "Why they always look so serious in Yoga? You make serious face like this, you scare away good energy. To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver. Practice tonight at hotel. Not to hurry, not to try too hard. Too serious, you make you sick. You can calling the good energy with a smile. All finish for today. See you later, alligator. Come back tomorrow. I am very happy to see you, Liss. Let your conscience be your guide. If you have Western friends come to visit Bali, bring them to me for palm-reading. I am very empty in my bank since the bomb. — Elizabeth Gilbert

If teams had to name themselves honestly, they'd all be the Pimple-Faced Teenagers. — Eric Berlin

He stared at Avery's socks and felt an odd sense of wonder. Socks were so normal. So mundane. How could someone who pulled on socks in the morning be a serial killer? Socks were not hard or dangerous. Socks were funny; foot mittens, that's what socks were. They made a knobbly hinge of your toes and became comical sock-puppets. Surely anyone who wore socks could not truly be a threat to him or anyone else? — Belinda Bauer

During the years of struggling to make partner, he had sometimes entertained the comical notion that making partner would imbue him with new powers, like a budding superhero who had been bitten by a radioactive spider. It appeared that any superpowers he had gained did not include the ability to pick up women in bars. — Reece Hirsch

There is a night school where you shall meet great teachers: The sky! When the night falls, the shining stars in the school will teach you how small you are and how comical to own an ego! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

There was a look of woe on his face that was almost comical. Raids, bullets, criminals ... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis. — Richelle Mead

What irritated her most was that they kept brushing off her arguments with patronizing smiles, making her feel like a teenager being quizzed on her homework. Without actually uttering a single inappropriate word, they displayed towards her an attitude that was so antediluvian it was almost comical. You shouldn't worry your pretty head over complex matters, little girl. — Stieg Larsson

At George Mason University I saw Hoppe present a lecture in which he claimed that Ludwig von Mises had set the intellectual foundation for not only economics, but for ethics, geometry, and optics, as well. This bizarre claim turned a serious scholar and profound thinker into a comical cult figure, a sort of Euro Kim Il Sung. — Tom G. Palmer

We think the feelings that are very serious in a man quite comical in a boy. — Charles Dickens

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Add boyish, slim as a board, pancake. It's okay, I've heard it all."

He raised his head and said mildly, "I wasn't thinking in terms of your chest size."

"Good thing as I don't have one." She smirked and popped a big chunk of potato into her mouth. "The nice thing is I can run without those things flying in my face, too." And damn if she didn't make a comical face that had him shouting with laughter. — Dale Mayer

I often think it's comical
How Nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative! — W.S. Gilbert

If you want to know what's going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off. — Benny Bellamacina

There was very little about her face and figure that was in any way
remarkable, but it was the sort of face which, when animated by
conversation or laughter, is completely transformed. She had a lovely
disposition, a quick mind and a fondness for the comical. She was
always very ready to smile and, since a smile is the most becoming
ornament that any lady can wear, she had been known upon occasion to
outshine women who were acknowledged beauties in three countries. — Susanna Clarke

Glimpse of him. Once things got hot, I tended pretty much to my own knittin. I glanced around just once and saw him upstreet beyond them Swedes under the Bijou's marquee, " Mr. Keene said. "He wasn't wearing a clown suit or nothing like that. He was dressed in a pair of farmer's biballs and a cotton shirt underneath. But his face was covered with that white greasepaint they use, and he had a big red clown smile painted on. Also had these tufts of fake hair, you know. Orange. Sorta comical. — Stephen King

All birds during the pairing season become more or less sentimental, and murmur soft nothings in a tone very unlike the grinding-organ repetition and loudness of their habitual song. The crow is very comical as a lover; and to hear him trying to soften his croak to the proper Saint-Preux standard has something the effect of a Mississippi boatman quoting Tennyson. — James Russell Lowell

You could believe that Sinbad could fight a skeleton because that's from a period in the past, a magical period. But if you had James Bond fighting a skeleton, it'd be almost comical. — Ray Harryhausen

It seems to me that very sad things always contain an element of the comical — Haruki Murakami

From that time on they both looked forward to sleeping together. I might even say that the goal of their lovemaking was not so much pleasure as the sleep that followed it. She especially was affected. Whenever she stayed overnight in her rented room (which quickly became only an alibi for Tomas), she was unable to fall asleep; in his arms she would fall asleep no matter how wrought up she might have been. He would whisper impromptu fairy tales about her, or gibberish, words he repeated monotonously, words soothing or comical, which turned into vague visions lulling her through the first dreams of the night. He had complete control over her sleep: she dozed off at the second he chose. — Milan Kundera

Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things. — James Dashner

I'm afraid that the act of writing is so scary and anxiety-filled that I never laugh at all. In fact, when people tell me that such and such a scene or story is comical, I tend to gape. I did not intend comedy - ever, as far as I know. It's probably all a mistake. I am essentially a lugubrious writer. Ha ha! — Cynthia Ozick

Never in a million years would he have imagined her to look at him like that - eyelids batting of their own volition and her lips puckering in expectation as she leaned slightly forward. Yet here she was doing precisely that - it was much too comical to stop the smile crossing his face.
And that was when she hit him.
It wasn't a faint slap on the cheek. No, Alexandra put all her weight behind the right hook that landed squarely across his jaw, throwing him completely off balance.
Damnation! — Sophie Barnes

People get really nuts around cars. They get angry at cars, they get angry at their car, they get angry at people driving in cars; there's something really comical about that, about automobiles. — Matt Dillon

Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues. — Justin Somper

Old friend, there are people - young and old - that I like, and people that I do not like. The former are always in short supply. I am turned off by humorless fanaticism, whether it's revolutionary mumbo-jumbo by a young one, or loud lessons from scripture by and old one. We are all comical, touching, slapstick animals, walking on our hind legs, trying to make it a noble journey from womb to tomb, and the people who can't see it all that way bore hell out of me. — John D. MacDonald

I've just found out I'm allergic to nut-cases — Benny Bellamacina

As Kylie buried her head on the camp leader's shoulder, she heard Burnett scold, "I thought I told you to wait at the camp."
Kylie felt Holiday tense at the reprimand, and then she raised her head. "And I thought you knew I don't follow anyone's orders."
"Does anyone listen to me around here?" Burnett asked, his frustration making his tone sound almost comical.
"Obviously not," one of the FRU agents said, and chuckled. — C.C. Hunter

The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical. It's hilarious. — Marina Keegan

It's always a bit much, being in a band with your brother. We fight all the time, but it's kind of comical. — Joel Madden

You talk weird." She whispered as she stared up at the white ceiling.
"Its part of my barely there practically nonexistent charm, but just like genital herpes, I grow on ya, kid and I'll getcha in the end." Sienna replied with a smirk, although her words were vaguely comical, everything else about her was not. — Ali Harper