Comedy Vehicle Quotes & Sayings

As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do. — J. B. Smoove

As your body deteriorates, your natural talents start to go a little bit. You have to bring in physical working out, building, taking protein and doing extra stuff. — Ben Roethlisberger

Every moment of every day, your mind chooses whether you focus on the angelic or the demonic, on your life's blessings or your tragedies, on the flashes of insight or the reminders of trouble. — Catherine Carrigan

I just think it's fortunate that Sir Isaac Newton didn't share the sense of humor of a member of the public, because had he done so, he would of been so amused by the simple effects of gravity, that he would of never gotten round making a comprehensive study of it's causes.
That's the punchline! 'a comprehensive study of it's courses'! I worked for that! Will you be telling this joke at work? I don't think so!
And yes, I am aware that I say this to you while hanging precariously of this art-deco balcony. And I do so deliberately in the hope that I will fall to my death, and that you will learn about the thin line between slap-stick and tragedy. — Stewart Lee

A poet is wounded into speech, and he examines these wounds, meticulously, to discover how to heal them. The bad poet harangues at the pain and yowls at the weapons that lacerate him; the great poet explores the inflamed lips of ruined flesh with ice-caked fingers, glittering and precise; but ultimately his poem is the echoing, dual voice reporting the damages. — Samuel R. Delany

I think comedy is the perfect vehicle for that which is slightly beyond life. — Tamsin Greig

Toeing the starting line of a marathon, regardless of the language you speak, the God you worship or the color of your skin, we all stand as equal. Perhaps the world would be a better place if more people ran. — Dean Karnazes

If you want a president to stop amnesty, to secure the borders and keep us safe, then support a candidate who has led the fight to stop amnesty to secure the borders and to keep us safe. — Ted Cruz

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act! — Alan Carr

If you must belittle others to make yourself feel better, then you should do silently, in your own mind, where only you will suffer from your poison. — Kel Kade

I met Shannon Hale through some friends and family. I was interested in her book called Princess Academy, which is just a very sweet, Newbery-nominated fairy tale for young readers. She was like, "Oh, actually I have something else for you." She gave me Austenland. The next morning, I'm sure I called her and I was like, "Let's make this movie." It is so fun. It just felt so girly and great and a great vehicle for the weird Hess comedy. — Jerusha Hess

Reports of a hurricane are unfounded. — Michael Fish

I love Stewart Lee's 'Comedy Vehicle' on BBC2. The guy is a genius. — Jez Butterworth

I started writing this feature comedy in New York - a Chris Farley vehicle. The script was decent. When I got to LA, I met some new friends in film school and had them read my script and give me notes. — David Steinberg