Colonel Mustard Quotes & Sayings

It's Major Ketchup in the bathroom with the laser scalpel."
"Hmm." He sliced a delicately herbed spear of asparagus. "Obviously we were meant for each other as I can interpret that as you meaning something more like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick. — J.D. Robb

Despite the heat in her face, it felt as if cold needles of ice were running up and down her veins. "What are you doing here?"
He drew back slightly, looking disappointed. "That isn't really an answer to my question, you know. I was expecting more of a "Hallelujah Chorus.' I mean, it's not every day your boyfriend comes back from the dead."
"I already knew you weren't dead." She spoke through numb lips. "I saw you in the library. With
"
"Colonel Mustard?"
"Sebastian. — Cassandra Clare

Dead like slipped on a bar of soap or like Colonel Mustard in the library with the lead piping? — Nick Harkaway

No one promised life would be easy or that the game wouldn't change without warning. There you are, all ready to pass Go and collect two hundred dollars, and suddenly Colonel Mustard is trapped in the conservatory, ranting and raving and waving a wrench, and no one knows what exactly a conservatory is or why anyone thought a wrench - of all things - would be a good murder weapon, or what branch of the military Colonel Mustard even served in! Has anyone seen his credentials? — Beth Harbison

I saw you in the library.
With - "
" Colonel Mustard? — Cassandra Clare

If Clue was played like D&D, you could grab the lead pipe, beat a confession out of Colonel Mustard, and have sex with Miss scarlet on the desk in the conservatory. — David Ewalt

Why did it have to be Sir McHotpants? Why couldn't they have sent Colonel Mustard le Mustache or Lady Jelly O'Belly? — Penny Reid

Colonel Mustard did it, however the motherfucker did it, his ass is in the hole. — Kristen Ashley

Crawley reached into the pocket of his fancy robe - a dinner jacket, I think it's called. The kind of thing Professer Plum would wear before killing Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the candlestick. — Neal Shusterman