Cletus Quotes & Sayings

He lifted an eyebrow, glanced between the two of us, then left thekitchen without his coffee, saying as he went, "Never mind, whatever it is, I don't want to know. But do let me know when the hotcakes are ready. And there better be a turkey today, because I already made the stuffing, and something or someone is getting stuffed."

"Getting the turkey was Cletus's job this year," I called after him. — Penny Reid

But then, out of nowhere, Cletus said, "I guess we're going to have to practice."

"Pardon me?"

"Practice kissing. Like what you did with Billy."

I reeled back as my head whipped to the side, our eyes colliding. I couldn't believe my ears. "You think . . . you want me to practice kissing with Billy?"

"No. No. Absolutely not." Again, Cletus's gaze flickered over me. "I mean you and me. I'll help you practice."

The heart flip returned, but this time it was more forceful than before. And it brought some friends - the tummy cartwheel, the throat cinch, and the chest ache.

What. The. Hell . . .? — Penny Reid

I'm . . . concerned. You appear to be upset. What's wrong?" His voice gentled and his eyes searched mine. "What's happened? And what can I do to help?"

I crossed my arms because my stupid heart was fluttering again. He caught me off guard. I was not at all prepared for Cletus Winston's concern.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to bring y'all muffins. Can't I bring y'all muffins?"

He was scrutinizing me again. "No. Something's off. Is it Jackson James? Do I need to maim him? Because I will. I could give him leprosy, you know. Armadillos are carriers."

My mouth fell open and a bubble of laughter emerged unchecked. "Cletus Winston, you will do no such thing."

"Sheriff's deputy or not. Just say the word. It might improve him, actually."

"You are terrible." I laughed, even though he was terrible, and I felt terrible laughing at such a terrible joke.

At least, I hope it's a joke — Penny Reid

Yeah, see, and that proves my point. What killed Housini? A stupid accident. But for one moment of stupidity, he'd have grown old with his Bess and been happy as a big in shit. Notice I ain't young, and if I die, old Cletus would kick my ass for leaving him all alone down here. (Jack) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Cletus takes a sizeable gulp from the bottle, then points at Arden. You'd learn something from that one, boy. She's a hard worker. A survivor. Gets things done. That girl doesn't know it, but she's going places in life. — Anna Banks

The original plan had several phases, all of which adhered to the commonly accepted rituals of human courtship. I'd intended to keep the depth of my feelings to myself for as long as she needed to catch up, at which point she would say the words first, I would concur, we would become engaged, buy a stretch of land, Jethro would build a house as a wedding present, and I'd insist on raised garden beds for Jennifer's overall-wearing activities. — Penny Reid

The phone in my hand buzzed, demanding my attention, and a text flashed on the screen. It was from Cletus and the sight made my heart lurch and twist, a pining ache stealing my breath. As I scrolled through my notifications, I noticed several texts.

Cletus: I'm sorry. I was wrong, you were right.

Cletus: I just realized you probably don't have your phone.

Cletus: I think I'm going to make myself useful by retrieving your phone.

Cletus: I just left your parents' house. I have your phone.

Cletus: Clearly I had your phone, if you're reading these messages. — Penny Reid

A brief silence followed, during which the reality of my present situation crashed over me.

I was alone. I was alone with Cletus Winston. I was alone with Cletus Winston and no one knew where I was.

Oh. Shit. — Penny Reid

This is what we do. We fix things. We're tinker-ers. If we didn't tinker with cars, we'd tinker with people."

Drew flashed a rare grin. "You already tinker with people, Cletus."

"You are correct," I sat straighter in my seat, ready to defend myself, "but only my family. And y'all deserve my tinkering."

"Don't get me wrong. You're good at tinkering. Aside from those revenge plots, people are lucky to have you interfering in their lives. — Penny Reid

Jethro huffed a laugh and shook his head. "You know, Beau. You're a lot more like Cletus then you let on."

"Thank you." Beau grinned at me. "In lightof recent events, I'll take that as a compliment. — Penny Reid

Cletus's famous sausage is famous." Cletus's — Penny Reid

I'm not an expert," said Cletus. "I'm a scholar. There's a difference. An expert's a man who knows a great deal about his subject. A scholar's someone who knows all there is that's available to be known about it. — Gordon R. Dickson

I'm after a woman who likes sex but doesn't put the lust part above the intelligence part. She could have a hundred partners for all I care, just as long as they've been vetted for psychopathic tendencies. I have four rules. Number one: don't invite a person into your body if you wouldn't invite her into your kitchen. Number two: the act needs to take place in a clean environment. Number three: precautions need to be taken to protect from disease and pregnancy. And Number four: don't ration the passion, i.e. put you best fuck forward. — Penny Reid

I grinned at Jessica James's backside as she walked away because she had a big old brown grease stain on the left side of her skirt where I'd palmed her ass.
"Damn, Duane, you got big hands."Cletus sauntered up next to me, wiping his own hands on a rag.
My grin became a frown and I shot my brother a look. "Don't be looking at Jess's ass."
I'm not looking at her ass. I remind you sir, she is my calculus teacher." Cletus lifted his chin toward Jessica's departing form. "I'm looking at the palm print on her ass. — Penny Reid

Stop it." Cletus snapped his fingers in front of our faces. "I hate it when you two mind-meld through your eyeballs. — Penny Reid

See, Cletus has this thing for cheese, but since he has no thumbs he has to have me give him his cheese on his food every night. If I die, no one else knows about Cletus and the cheese, and poor old Cletus would lose his mind. So I can't die until he does. See how that works? (Jack) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'd kiss you but I don't want our beards to tangle. — Penny Reid

Sure, but I think the traps should work." I set my hands on my hips, not wanting to tranquilize the bears unless absolutely necessary.

"The ketamine isn't just for the bears." Drew gave me a sympathetic look, then promptly turned and left, Roscoe on his heels.

"I think he expects me to use the ketamine on the film folks." I chuckled, knowing Drew wasn't serious. It was pretty darn close to a joke though. I was proud of my boss, he rarely made jokes.

"Or use it on each other." Cletus gulped the rest of his coffee, smacking his lips before adding. "If these movie people are as crazy as Drew thinks they are, we can self-medicate until we pass out. It's always good sense to have an escape plan. — Penny Reid

You ask too many questions," snapped Cletus.
I kept my gaze on Roman. "that's because I get too few answers. — David Baldacci

It's just one of those things people talk about. Like, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?"
"I'd like to be able to fly," Cletus responded as though her question had been asked in earnest.
"Not be invisible? Or read minds? Or be omniscient?" Roscoe suggested.
Cletus shook his head. "Certainly not. That'd be redundant because I'm already all of those things."
"Then make it rain blueberries," Roscoe teased. — Penny Reid

Cletus sneered. "You are the opposite of boastful, and your humbleness verges on infuriating." "Gee, thanks." I rolled my eyes. "Look, all I'm saying is that if a person is great at something, she shouldn't have to pretend she's not, and she shouldn't have to downplay her hard work. There's nothing wrong with humility or modesty, Jenn. But - for heaven's sake - take credit for being a badass." I — Penny Reid

I aspire to different achievements than worldly success, and I know you do as well. But, Claire, I'm glad you finally saw reason and accepted the record deal. Your star is too bright to hide in plain sight."

"You just rhymed, Cletus. I might have to steal that for a song."

"Go ahead. I ain't using it for anything profitable. — Penny Reid

Cletus's middle name wasn't "Evasive", but it should have been. Another — Penny Reid

You'll know one day, Cletus. You'll discover what it's like to find the other part of yourself. You'll know it's her, only her, always her. Maybe not right away, but eventually you'll know. She'll be your beginning, middle, and end. And your intentions won't matter. Love brings its own intentions, and all other plans, hopes, and dreams fade to insignificance in the face of love." *** — Penny Reid

Allow me to take a moment to express my appreciation for Cletus Winston and his entrances. — Penny Reid

We all did a lot of staring that day.
The point that struck me as most interesting about our collective staring was the objects at which people stared.
Jethro stared out the window. Billy stared at the fireplace. Cletus stared at the front door. Beau stared at the kitchen table. Duane stared at the refrigerator. Roscoe stared at Momma's sewing desk.
I sat in my recliner and stared at the spot where the hospital bed had been. — Penny Reid

More recently, my father has been impressed with how Billy basically started at the bottom of Payton Mills and has worked himself up to South East Region Vice President."

Cletus frowned. "Is that his title?"

"My father thinks so. And he's certain Billy wants to run for state senate. Both my parents like the idea of having a son-in-law in politics. I think that's why they like Jackson so much. I know he has plans to run for office."

"Jackson would make a great politician."

"I thought you didn't like Jackson?"

"I don't. Saying someone would make a great politician is like saying someone would make a great serial killer. It's not a compliment. — Penny Reid

It's not that simple."
"It's as simple as dry toast."
"You're encouraging me to knowingly hurt him."
Cletus grunted impatiently and threw his hands up. "We're talking in circles. Here's reality: People get hurt and they move on or they don't. You can't have it both ways. You either get to be famous, and deal with the hassle that comes with it, or you leave it all behind. Own your shit, Sienna. And let Jethro own his. And then get married and own that shit together."
Cletus stood, clearly frustrated, and stomped away from me to the back door. He disappeared into the house only to appear three seconds later to add, "And while you're at it, beget me some nieces and nephews. — Penny Reid

Cletus frowned at Roscoe, looked like he was about to fill in the blanks, but instead said, "Roscoe, could you take Jethro's truck and run back over to Daisy's for more coffee?"

"You're trying to get rid of me." Roscoe shook his head.

"Yes. We're trying to get rid of you." I clapped my hand on his shoulder. "You're not the law - like Drew - and you're not sinister - like Cletus."

"Plus I want more coffee." Cletus lifted his empty cup. "I can't think without my coffee. — Penny Reid

Oh, now. Come on. Billy isn't so bad." Cletus nudged my shoulder, repeating my words from earlier.

I huffed an exasperated laugh. "Yeah. Not so bad. Except I think you're forgetting one very important fact."

"I never forget facts." He shook his head quickly, both dismissing and teasing me. "Facts are my friends."

"Oh yeah? You think so?"

"I know so. I send facts Christmas cards every year and they reciprocate with peppermint bark."

"Well then, how about this fact: Billy will never ask me out on a date."

And that was a fact.

Billy Winston was completely and irrevocably in love with Claire McClure. This information was not widely known, but I knew. I was a people watcher. — Penny Reid

I made a list of what needed to be picked up from the grocery store for dinner. Making lists helped. Cletus had taught me to do that. Not many people knew, but Cletus had a terrible temper. As a kid his tantrums were legendary, and as a teenager his rage made him blind.
He kept it all locked up now by making mental lists whenever he felt the urge to pummel someone.
Of course, he also hatched maniacal plans of revenge against anyone who crossed him. Beau and I often considered giving Cletus a hairless cat as a present, so his James Bond supervillain image would be complete. — Penny Reid

Cletus Winston is madly in love with me. *** — Penny Reid

Do you want to tell me what happened? Why were those bikers chasing you?" Jessica's gaze bounced between us.

"They were upset I switched their tampons with Depends." Cletus sounded so serious and reasonable, I almost believed him. And I'd been there. — Penny Reid

This is a huge foyer. She spun in a slow circle, taking in the high ceilings.
She'd said the word using its French pronunciation, foy-ay. Cletus said it that way. The rest of us said foy-er, like it's spelled, because we lived in the United States and weren't pretentious nut jobs. Not that I thought Sarah was a pretentious nut job or made such a judgment about all people based on their pronunciation of that single word.
Just Cletus. He said foy-ay and was most definitely a pretentious nut job. — Penny Reid

Grandpa?" Declan raised his eyebrows.
"We keep him in the shed out back," Jack said helpfully. "So he doesn't eat dog brains. — Ilona Andrews