Certifiable Quotes & Sayings

A philosophical question: if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? And if a woman who's wholly alone occasionally talks to a pot plant, is she certifiable? I think that it is perfectly normal to talk to oneself occasionally. It's not as though I'm expecting a reply. I'm fully aware that Polly is a houseplant. — Gail Honeyman

Breathing is my best ally. By doing simple breathing exercises, I can quickly come back to center and feel more grounded. — Gisele Bundchen

I know what they'd like, they'd like a blank they could fill in. A person already filled in disturbs them terribly. — Patricia Highsmith

You're certifiable, you do know that, yes?" Austin commented with a strange look.

"Well, coming from the school's resident sociopath, I take that as high praise."

"Don't make me get my pipe bombs."

Oh God, he was actually joking with me. I was in. In where, I had no idea, but I was definitely in somewhere. And he was smiling-- a real, non-adverb laced smile. And damn, he had dimples. I was doomed. So doomed. — Chris O'Guinn

The woman may be a biomedical engineer, but I begin to think that she is a certifiable idiot. — Jessica Khoury

After all, Jews invented psychiatry to help other Jews become Gentiles. — Morton Feldman

It's one of the ironies of mountaineering,' said Young, 'that grown men are happy to spend months preparing for a climb, weeks rehearsing and honing their skills, and at least a day attempting to reach the summit. And then, having achieved their goal, they spend just a few moments enjoying the experience, along with one or two equally certifiable companions who have little in common other than wanting to do it all again, but a little higher. — Jeffrey Archer

Doesn't it show us all that we are silly little boys or fatuous asses to think that we can play golf without making a lot of bad shots? — Bobby Jones

Thank goodness it's you, not that madman who came last time, the one with the bullfighter's name. He seemed drunk to me, or else eminently certifiable. He had the nerve to ask me whether I knew the etymology of the word 'prick,' in a sarcastic tone that was quite out of place. — Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Because Spencer is a certifiable genius, Ford is as ruthless as they come, and I'm an accomplished liar. — J.A. Huss

Riley decided the man was physically a ten, but intellectually he was a certifiable fruit basket. — Janet Evanovich

This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable. — Darynda Jones

We live in a capitalist system; anyone who believes they are above this system or purer than this system, even while shopping at the cute organic market across the street or taking a hiking vacation to Guatemala, is certifiable. — Katy Lederer

Never try to time the bond market. Anyone who claims to know the future of interest rates is certifiable. — Jane Bryant Quinn

I am ugly,
submerged in my own past
and my own madness — Anne Sexton

The terrible beauty is that in the brotherhood of golf we are all the same - certifiable. — Sean Connery

It's maybe every third person now (who calls out 'Norm!' when they see me). It used to be every other person. It's faded a bit, but not too much. They're always going to remember me that way. I decided a long time ago that if I'm going to let this make me crazy, I'm going to be certifiable, so I just roll with it. — George Wendt

True, you don't have to be religious to be crazy, but it helps. Indeed, if you are religious, you don't have to be crazy in the medically certifiable sense in order to do massively crazy things. — Daniel Dennett

Not many years ago, nearly 100 percent of people who thought they were being constantly watched were certifiable paranoids. But recently it was revealed that, in the name of public safety, Homeland Security and more than a hundred other local, state, and federal agencies are operating aerial surveillance drones of the kind previously used only on foreign battlefields - at low altitudes outside the authority of air-traffic control. Soon, the bigger worry will not be that, as you walk your dog, you are secretly being watched but that the rapidly proliferating drones will begin colliding with one another and with passenger aircraft, and that you'll be killed by the plummeting drone that was monitoring you to be sure that you picked up Fido's poop in a federally approved pet-waste bag. — Dean Koontz

I was 90% certain Thia was the best therapist money could buy; the remaining 10%, I still questioned if she was certifiable. — Genna Rulon

How are you?" Delusional. Possibly certifiable. Weirdly happy. "Fine," Georgie said. — Rainbow Rowell

Martyrs - those killed because of their Catholic faith - can be beatified even if they don't perform a miracle. However, all beatified individuals must stage a certifiable miracle before being made a saint. — Charles Duhigg

One more minute of this, and she'd be a certifiable simpleton. — Tessa Dare

I think he was worried about pushing things too far for the time being since I was obviously rocking a first-class ticket to certifiable insanity. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

But that age; remember that age? They're not the same. They don't put things together. That's why half of what they do looks full-on certifiable, to you or me or any sane adult. Things don't make sense, when you're that age; you don't make sense. You stop expecting to. — Tana French

My favorite thing about guitar, and the thing that always drew me to it when I was first learning to play it, was those moments when you think you know what it might sound like, but you don't, and then you hit it, and it's a total surprise. You hear it with really fresh ears. Alternate tunings, for me, they give that back. — Charlie Worsham

No matter how much you think you know a person - no matter how pretty they act, or how popular they seem, you can never know what their lives are really like. — Jess Rothenberg

You've been unable to adjust to the idea of war.'
'Yes, sir.'
'You have a morbid aversion to dying. — Joseph Heller

I remembered reading that the sweat and breath of certifiable psychopaths have a subtle but distinctive chemical odor because of certain physiological conditions accompanying that mental disorder. Maybe her breath smelled of craziness. — Dean Koontz

In a town like London there are always plenty of not quite certifiable lunatics walking the streets, and they tend to gravitate towards bookshops, because a bookshop is one of the few places where you can hang about for a long time without spending any money. — George Orwell

Being an investment banker is pretty much the perfect job for an all around triple-threat genius, and because I'm doing so well with it, I know I'm actually smarter than certifiable geniuses like Stephen Hawking and Einstein. — A.D. Aliwat

Everyone uses their own dictionary. — Robert Jacoby

If you have enough unanswered questions, you have a certifiable mystery, and those are impossible to resist. — Lisa Lutz

I don't go back and look at my early work, because the last time I did, many years ago, it left me cringing. If one publishes, then one is creating a public record of Learning to Write. — Lorrie Moore

Full to the brim with hope and love and joy, she watched the little light bulb shining like a promise in the night. — Jeanne DuPrau

The heat tamped everything down. Aside from a handful of certifiable runners and insane cyclists, the park had been left to the birds and squirrels. — Richard Castle

Don't even try your bullshit with us...! You psycho idiot, certifiable, father-complex, bitch! — Haruka Takachiho

The Republicans were not always insane. They might've had politics I didn't agree with, but they weren't always actually certifiable. — Salman Rushdie

If only he didn't believe he was Shamu's distant cousin. It was such a shame for someone so sublime to be certifiable. — Rosanna Leo

What's life without perfectly certifiable friends? — Alexa Land