C.w Quotes & Sayings

Life is simply a collection of memories, but memories are like star light ... They live on Forever. — C.W. McCall

If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields

I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years. — W.C. Fields

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it. — W.C. Fields

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. — W.C. Fields

Nations, no matter how small and unmeritorious, cannot be annihilated. They may be put down and even divided up, and their name erased from the roll of nations; but the generic spark is there, and will flame up to the end of time distinct and inextinguishable! — W.C. Corsan

Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it. — W.C. Fields

Sin is lawlessness and constitutes the doer thereof a rebel against the righteous rule of His sovereign Lord. — C.F.W. Walther

By the eighteenth century many were showing all the negative conservatism of a vested interest overtaken by events: dogged devotion to old techniques, suspicion of innovation, resentment of competition and xenophobia. — Timothy C.W. Blanning

I enjoyed biology in high school, and that brought me to a research lab at U.C. Santa Barbara. I loved doing experiments, and I had fun with them. I realized this kind of problem-solving fit my intellectual style. — Carol W. Greider

To them it was a holy crusade; not just a right, but a veritable duty, no less than an obeisance to God's commandment. — C.W. Lovatt

It is utterly forbidden to be half-hearted about gardening. You have got to love your garden whether you like it or not. — W.C. Sellar

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. — W.C. Fields

Can you keep it all business Shelby?" he asked as he tipped her chin up. "Somehow I don't think you can. — C.W. Stokes

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. — W.C. Fields

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards. — W.C. Fields

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town. — W.C. Fields

I never eat before breakfast. — W.C. Fields

The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents. — W.C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast. — W.C. Fields

I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically. — W.C. Fields

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose
to make people laugh. — W.C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money — W.C. Fields

Walk in Love EPHESIANS 5 j Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2And k walk in love, l as Christ loved us and m gave himself up for us, a n fragrant o offering and sacrifice to God. 3But p sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness q must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4Let there be r no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, s which are out of place, but instead t let there be thanksgiving. 5For you may be sure of this, that u everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous ( v that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 w Let no one x deceive you with empty words, for because of these things y the wrath of God comes upon z the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore a do not become partners with them; 8for b at one time you were c darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. d Walk as children of light — Anonymous

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C. — W.C. Fields

Never trust a man who doesn't drink. — W.C. Fields

What we do not earn ourselves," he said, "is never truly ours. It can always be taken away. But even if we lose everything we work for, the achievement is ours forever. — C.W. Gortner

Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. — Milton Berle

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. — W.C. Fields

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places. — W.C. Fields

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. — Leo Rosten

Why demand ye of me where the land of Oomaldee lies? Did they do the same of C.S. Lewis and his Narnia? — L.R.W. Lee

If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it. — W.C. Fields

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do. — W.C. Fields

MATTHEW 18. t At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you u turn and v become like children, you w will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 x Whoever humbles himself like this child is the w greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 y "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6but z whoever causes one of these a little ones who believe in me to sin, [1] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Temptations to Sin 7"Woe to the world for b temptations to sin! [2] c For it is necessary that temptations come, d but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! — Anonymous

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. — W.C. Fields

Among many other things, genius implies the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple, and to recognize inclusive structural principals. — C. W. Ceram

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything. — W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. 'I'm looking for a loop-hole,' he explained. — W.C. Fields

Happiness means quiet nerves. — W.C. Fields

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse. — W.C. Fields

Until I began sitting, it had never occurred to me that one could learn, with practice, to distinguish between attention, or awareness, and its objects. But just this is the central and most basic technique of meditation in all the yogic traditions of India, first described some 2,500 years ago in the Upanishads. In those ancient texts, the meditator is instructed to observe literally every element of experience from afar, to simply bear witness to anything and everything that arises and passes away before the mind's eye. That's it. Just sit there, without moving, and watch, allowing the focal point of identity to shift from the — C.W. Huntington Jr.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness. — W.C. Fields

It is funnier to bend things than to break them. — W.C. Fields

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks. — W.C. Fields

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies. — W.C. Fields

For this gospel I was appointed w a herald, apostle, and teacher, x 12 and that is why I suffer y these things. But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me C, z until that day. a — Anonymous

According to tradition, the originator of Taoism, Lao-tzu, was an older contemporary of Kung Fu-tzu, or Confucius, who died in 479 B.C.1 Lao-tzu is said to have been the author of the Tao Te Ching, a short book of aphorisms, setting forth the principles of the Tao and its power or virtue (Te e). But traditional Chinese philosophy ascribes both Taoism and Confucianism to a still earlier source, to a work which lies at the very foundation of Chinese thought and culture, dating anywhere from 3000 to 1200 B.C. This is the I Ching, or Book of Changes. — Alan W. Watts

Since fortune was dragging its heels, I would lure it out with my hard work. — C.W. Gortner

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. — W.C. Fields

I was married once
in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad. — W.C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. — W.C. Fields

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. — W.C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields

Cross the street and run away.
Have another jolly day.

PW c.1973 — Paige W. Pendleton

Gladstone .. spent his declining years trying to guess the answer to the Irish Question; unfortunately, whenever he was getting warm, the Irish secretly changed the Question, ... — W.C. Sellar

Everybody possesses knowledge and experience that is considered to be unique to them alone; therefore, everyone has something to learn from everyone else. — C W Newman

A true Lutheran relies on God's Word and would not worry about it even if the whole world mocked and despised him for it. He does not consider the world an authority in religious matters. He rests his faith on higher authority: — C.F.W. Walther

Never give a sucker an even break. — W.C. Fields

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. — W.C. Fields

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually. — W.C. Fields

Vedanta is the teaching of the Upanishads, a collection of dialogues, stories, and poems, some of which go back to at least 800 B.C. Sophisticated Hindus do not think of God as a special and separate super-person who rules the world from above, like a monarch. Their God is "underneath" rather than "above" everything, and he (or it) plays the world from inside. One might say that if religion is the opium of the people, the Hindus have the inside dope. What is more, no Hindu can realize that he is God in disguise without seeing at the same time that this is true of everyone and everything else. In the Vedanta philosophy, nothing exists except God. There seem to be other things than God, but only because he is dreaming them up and making them his disguises to play hide-and-seek with himself. — Alan W. Watts

Now we Democrats, well, we're all for higher taxes, right? But man do we hate to pay those taxes, and most of the politicians I worked for took advantage of every tax loophole they could find, and if they couldn't find it, they'd just legislate one out of thin air. That's the D.C. way. Tax policy is a means to buy votes, but at the end of the day, we all share in a mutual disdain for government. It's — D.W. Ulsterman

Justice is the alignment of societal laws with natural Law, and the righting of wrongs. Justice creates liberty. Justice maintains the character of love and can be said to be a product of right actions by a society. Things that are right promote the well-being of individual selves and societies. What is right can be said to always be just. If a society commits to justice by aligning societal laws with natural Law and respecting the rights of natural Law, then it will promote love through liberty. — C W Newman

It is better to give your path to a dog than to be bitten by him, contesting for the right. — C.W. Abe Lincoln

We commonly confuse love with the strong emotions most often associated with it, such as joy, attachment, lust, infatuation, pleasure, pain, fear, and hope, to name a few. But, love is not a feeling; love itself is an action. There are countless emotions and beliefs that can cause us to love. Love is the willing giving of self to another living being. Love is giving the life, time, energy, and resources that we would normally give or use for our self to someone else. Love is an action that enhances the well-being of another living being. — C W Newman

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. — W.C. Fields

Was it worth it?" she sighed "I have found it is always worth fighting for what we believe in, regardless of the outcome. Risk is never without consequence. — C.W. Gortner

One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a-a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone. — George W. Bush

I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas.
George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007 — George W. Bush

Technology has robbed us of everything that made being human fun."

--Aristotle Leary
from Rubicon Harvest — C.W. Kesting

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent. — W.C. Fields

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W.C. Fields

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California. — George W. Bush

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind. — W.C. Fields

analysis (Reynolds and Smith 1994), I have composited the SSTA changes following the three equatorial types of WWEs (W, C and E), between 1986 and 1998. These changes were compared — Anonymous

Joseph Campbell understood critical doctrines of Christianity as myth and maintained that understanding myth was a key to making sense of key doctrines of Christianity in any society, including a highly-technological one. C. S. Lewis understood myth as one means among many used by God to point people to His Son, Jesus Christ. — James W Menzies

It is statistically irrefutable that those American cities with stringent "gun control" (e.g. N.Y.C., D.C., Chicago, L.A.) have higher crime rates. It is also irrefutable that those 31 states which have made conceal carry of handguns easy for law-abiding citizens have correspondingly enjoyed significant drops in their crime rates. — Kenneth W. Royce

A person is either a Christian or not; there is no in between state — C.F.W. Walther

I am sure no other civilization, not even the Romans, has showed such a vast proportion of ignominious and degraded nudity, and ugly, squalid dirty sex. Because no other civilization has driven sex into the underworld, and nudity to the W.C. — D.H. Lawrence

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. — W.C. Fields

Anything the Austrians could do, the Prussians could do better. — Timothy C.W. Blanning

Know what I think?" said Perry. "I think there must be something wrong with
us. To do what we did."'
"Did what?"
"Out there."
Dick dropped the binoculars into a leather case, a luxurious receptacle initialed
H. W. C. He was annoyed. Annoyed as hell. Why the hell couldn't Perry shut up? Christ
Jesus, what damn good did it do, always dragging the goddam thing up? It really was
annoying. Especially since they'd agreed, sort of, not to talk about the goddam thing.
Just forget it.
"There's got to be something wrong with somebody who'd do a thing like that,"
Perry said.
"Deal me out, baby," Dick said. "I'm a normal." And Dick meant what he said.
He thought himself as balanced, as sane as anyone - maybe a bit smarter than the
average fellow, that's all. But Perry - there was, in Dick's opinion, "something wrong"
with Little Perry. — Truman Capote

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise. — W.C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. — W.C. Fields

There are moments that define our existence, moments that, if we recognize them, become pivotal turning points in our life. — C.W. Gortner

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours. — W.C. Fields

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again. — W.C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. — W.C. Fields

Sometimes it's the simplest things we should most long for. — C.W. Gortner

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons. — W.C. Fields

For every person wishing to teach there are thirty not wanting to be taught. — W.C. Sellar

I care for you, darling, I love you,
the only reason I fucked L. is because you fucked
Z. and then I fucked R. and you fucked N.
and because you fucked N. I had to fuck
Y. But I think of you constantly, I feel you
here in my belly like a baby, love I'd call it,
no matter what happens I'd call it love, and so
you fucked C. and then before I could move
you fucked W., so I had to fuck D. But
I want you to know that I love you, I think of you
constantly, I don't think I've ever loved anybody
like I love you. — Charles Bukowski

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science! — W.C. Fields

Because life is a symphony it must have its C Minor. Days there be when we hear only a discord of sharps and flats, and we wonder whether harmony will ever be restored. On other days we hear only an ominous, deep strain which seems to say that hope is fled. But why this chill despair? Symphonies are a blending of many tones, high and low, over and under, major and minor. One day cannot make a life a whole any more than shadows can make a picture or minor notes a symphony. We need to hear life's song, not as the discord of a single day, but as the completed harmony of all the years. Then will today's sorrow and tomorrow's disappointment ring forth in major key as glorious melody. — W. Waldemar W. Argow

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either. — W.C. Fields

Archaeology, I found, comprehended all manner of excitement and achievement. Adventure is coupled with bookish toil. Romantic excursions go hand in hand with scholarly self-discipline and moderation. Explorations among the ruins of the remote past have carried curious men all over the face of the earth ... Yet in truth, no science is more adventurous than archaeology, if adventure is thought of as a mixture of spirit and deed. — C. W. Ceram

It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world. — W.C. Fields

He had a W.C. Fields twang and a nose like a prize strawberry. — Kurt Vonnegut

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously. — W.C. Fields