Buzzfeed Funniest Quotes & Sayings

I hate how late we have our Olympic Trials, always have. — Natalie Coughlin

Occasionally I will audition for a big overseas movie, but that's it. — Nicole Trunfio

The square root of nothing. — R.D. Laing

I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my lifetime. — Albert Einstein

Eager?"
"Just a little," I breathed. — Shaye Evans

Seeking Heaven through righteousness is not seeking righteousness, but something else;
it is not loving goodness for goodness' sake, but for its rewards. — Edwin Hubbel Chapin

Rituals are a good signal to your unconscious that it is time to kick in. — Anne Lamott

New Orleans may well have been the most liberal Deep South city in 1954 because of its large Creole population, the influence of the French, and its cosmopolitan atmosphere. — Constance Baker Motley

Sometimes when you're writing on a ukulele, you're in a totally new land, rhythmically or melodically. — Tift Merritt

We must never limit God's ability to turn even the worst, most vile experience in our lives into something productive, beneficial and positive. — Charles Stanley

Every single great idea that has marked the 21st century, the 20th century and the 19th century has required government vision and government incentive. — Joe Biden

Once you turn pro and you're making the big money and kids are buying your sneakers and your skates and your gloves and so on, you are a member of that role model club. — Bobby Orr

That was the end of the dialogue, because, I remember distinctly, he barely had time to say "What about the bread?" That was all. After that there was nothing but flame and noise. The kind of noise you wouldn't have thought possible. Our eyes, ears, nose, and mouth were so full of that noise I thought it was all over and I'd turned into noise and flame myself.

After a while the flame went away, the noise stayed in my head, and my arms and legs trembled as if somebody were shaking me from behind. My limbs seemed to be leaving me, but then in the end they stayed on. The smoke stung my eyes for a long time, and the prickly smell of powder and sulphur hung on, strong enough to kill all the fleas and bedbugs in the whole world. — Louis-Ferdinand Celine

I think the older you get, the more 'let's cut to the chase' you get, 'let's quit quibbling about this, let's tell it like it is.' — Vicki Lawrence