Bum Quotes & Sayings

I'm not really interested in the audience's enjoyment,' Cave mumbles once he has changed into clean pants. 'It doesn't bother me one way or another. I just don't give a shit. People feel more and more disappointed with each concert because less and less happens. It's really easy to suck an audience in. Like, I can wiggle my bum and back-flip on my head and they love it. I could make an audience love me until the end of my days. There's just no point in it any more. I wish they'd just ... die. — Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Is Buffy the Vampire Slayer her personal savior?
Because that would bum you out?
The slaying part would, yeah. Not the Joss part. We all love Joss. — Chloe Neill

So long, crumb-bum. — J.D. Salinger

He's been living on the fringes of art for so many years, talking and talking about it, that he's come to expect all the prerogatives of being an artist without ever doing the work. I mean he's an art bum ... — Richard Yates

Show me a hero and I'll show you a bum. — Gregory Boyington

America is a country that prides itself on being able to identify a 'straight shooter' or 'the genuine article' when it comes to our leaders. As a nation, we can 'feel it in our gut' when someone is giving us a bum steer. — Adam McKay

There's hardly anything I've ever done that's made me cringe; I've got pretty good pitch, for a start, so I'm not known for hitting bum notes. — Robert Palmer

So be we king
or be we bum
the reed still whistles
the heart still hums — Patti Smith

If you're going to come wanting to work really hard, you're never going to bum me out. — Dito Montiel

A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note. — Christopher Moore

I may be a bum but God has to rest on something — Chobo

After forty-odd years you stop asking," she says. "Want some free advice?"
I nod.
"Don't trip over yourselves trying to be a perfect couple, love. Get out of each other's way; don't be afraid of falling out, shutting up, or telling little porky pies; do your share of the cleaning; don't leave your dirty undies inside out on the carpet; leave the seat down; buy her flowers once a month; and pinch her bum once a week - the rest's up to you. — Andy Jones

Yeah, that test says he's dumb as a fence post, but when he hits he looks like Einstein to me. — Bum Phillips

Many a bum show has been saved by the flag. — George M. Cohan

Whatever actually happened or was said, McChystal's refusal to defend himself - to give me any ammunition to use on his behalf - made it impossible for me to save his job. But to this day, I believe he was given the bum's rush by Biden, White House staff, and NSS who harbored deep resentment toward his unyielding advocacy the previous fall of counterinsurgency and a huge troop surge in Afghanistan; who interpreted his public comments back than as "boxing in" the president; and who continued to oppose the strategy approved by the president and the way McChrystal was implementing it. I am convinced the "Rolling Stone" article gave the president, egged on by those around him in the White House, and himself distrustful of the senior military, and opportunity he welcomed to demonstrate vividly - to the public and to the Pentagon - that he was commander in chief and fully in control of the military. — Robert M. Gates

My creative hands can't keep up with my creative mind, so I think I'll sit and rest on my creative behind — Benny Bellamacina

We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety. It's been a family joke all our lives - even my lovely brother has one. I know the lines to all the good singalong big bum songs. — Carol Vorderman

And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag. — Scott Westerfeld

This year there will be an eclipse of the Moon on the fourth day of August.9 Saturn will be retrograde; Venus, direct; Mercury, variable. And a mass of other planets will not proceed as they used to.10 As a result, crabs this year will walk sideways, rope-makers work backwards, stools end up on benches, and pillows be found at the foot of the bed;11 many men's bollocks will hang down for lack of a game-bag;12 the belly will go in front and the bum be the first to sit down; nobody will find the bean in their Twelfth Night cake; not one ace will turn up in a flush; the dice will never do what you want, however much you may flatter them;13 and the beasts will talk in sundry places. — Francois Rabelais

A bum stood at the Lucky Market right in front of Artesia & Blossom. He was begging for money. He looked pretty pathetic, dressed in rancid, oily clothes. He smelled like cigarettes and urine. "Can you spare a dime?" he would ask. People would shake their heads or walk around him. He was getting nowhere. Two hours went by, no money, not a cent. "Please, a dime!" cried the bum. A middle-aged man walked by him, heard his plea and laid upon him a mint new dime. "Thank you, sir! Thank you!" shouted the bum. Dime in hand, the bum limped over to a phone booth and called in the airstrike. — Henry Rollins

Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye. — Bum Phillips

Prince Ronald said, Elizabeth, your hair is all dirty. You are wearing an ugly paper bag. You don't have any shoes on and you smell like a dragon's ear. Come back and rescue me when you're dressed like a real princess.
Elizabeth said, Ronald, your hair is all nice. Your clothes are all pretty. You look like a nice guy, but guess what? You are a bum.
They didn't get married after all. — Robert Munsch

I always thought I could coach. I just thought people were poor judges of good coaches. — Bum Phillips

You never know whose eyes God is watchin you through. It might not be your teacher, your preacher, or your Sunday school teacher. More likely it's gon' be that bum on the street. — Ron Hall

I think Bhutanese food - long dissed by every food writer out there - has gotten a bum rap. — Hanya Yanagihara

That doesn't sound too smart, I thought. If we come in from every direction, we'll be shooting each other. Usually our ambushes are planned in an L-shape to avoid that. I looked at the chief. The chief looked at me. Suddenly, his serious expression gave way to a shit-ass grin. With that, the rest of the platoon bum-rushed me. I hit the floor a second later. They cuffed me to a chair, and then began my kangaroo court. — Chris Kyle

The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline. — Bum Phillips

Over here you'll see San Fran is also host to a wide variety of exotic animals. Many find our streets to be like a modern rain forest," she says, indicating a flock of flea-ridden pigeons pecking leftovers off a bum sleeping on the curb. — Sarah Noffke

The world is full of people who say, 'But I had that idea first,' but did they do anything about it? Nope, they sat on their bum dreaming. — Rob Manuel

Who is John Galt?"
The light was ebbing, and Eddie Willers could not distinguish the bum's face. The bum had said it simply, without expression. But from the sunset far at the end of the street, yellow glints caught his eyes, and the eyes looked straight at Eddie Willers, mocking and still - as if the question had been addressed to the causeless uneasiness within him.
"Why did you say that?" asked Eddie Willers, his voice tense.
The bum leaned against the side of the doorway; a wedge of broken glass behind him reflected the metal yellow of the sky.
"Why does it bother you?" he asked.
"It doesn't," snapped Eddie Willers. — Ayn Rand

Religion says that your soul goes to heaven or possibly to a seven-tiered garden, or that your soul is reincarnated into a new body, or that you lie around in your coffin clothes until the Second Coming. And, of course, only one of these can be true. Which means that for millions of people, religion will turn out to have been a bum steer as regards the hereafter. (13) — Mary Roach

Is there one in particular, Tennyson?" Henry said, ducking out from under her arm. "I could arrange a meeting."
"Yeah, the one from Texas ... what's his name?"
"That would be Dylan. But he's a nice guy and you'd break his heart. He dropped out of Texas A&M to come up here and saddle bum around with my horses year-round. Knowing your dad, I think you'd better be looking for a pre-med honors student."
"Leave my dad out of this. — Laura Anderson Kurk

Yep. And I noticed how slowly he went down each time, too. — Bum Phillips

The next morning after finishing my interviews, I found myself with some time to kill before the bus arrived to return me to Whitby.

The term "time to kill" suddenly sounded awfully harsh.

Was "time to waste" better? No, "waste" is so un-Benedictine.

"Time to spend"? Too much of a material ring.

"Time to bum around?" Yes, it had just the right balance of self-effacement and no fixed address. Like Jesus. — Jane Christmas

I'm stuck in Bum Fuck, Missouri. She probably figured I was the safe bet. — Nicole Jacquelyn

But here there were houses full of *stuff*, fancy sheets woven with silk floss as soft as a baby's bum; fancy washstands carved of dark wood that glowed like cherries where the light hit it; curtains the shade of the summer sky, heavy and glossy and smooth to the touch. The velvet-flocked wallpaper was so soft beneath her fingertips that had her eyes been closed, she might have thought she was brushing the belly of a rabbit.
And the stool in the corner! One wouldn't imagine you'd get too fancy with such a piece, but this stool was covered with embroidery so fine that her knuckles ached just looking at the stitches. Unbelievable. The rich even spoiled their arses! — Meredith Duran

You can't do business with a man who doesn't know the meaning of a contract. You can't do business with a firm who swears they'll do one thing one day and does just the opposite the next. You can't do business with a company who takes your goods on a cash basis and then pays you off in bum harmonicas. — Stephen Vincent Benet

In all seriousness, people think that it's the ideas that are important. Well, everyone has ideas, all the time. I tend to write mine down and remember them, but at some point you have to apply the bum to the seat and knock out about sixty five thousand words - that's how long a novel is. — Terry Pratchett

Every dad who loves his daughter is not going to want her to go with the penniless slacker loser poet bum, when she could go out with someone who's successful. — John Leguizamo

She knew that the galaxy itself could kill me, that all of me could be shattered and all of her legacy spilled upon the curb like bum wine. And no one would be brought to account for this destruction, because my death would not be the fault of any human but the fault of some unfortunate but immutable fact of "race", imposed upon an innocent country by the inscrutable judgement of invisible gods. The earthquake cannot be subpoenaed. The typhoon will not bend under indictment. They sent the killer of Prince Jones back to his work, because he was not a killer at all. He was a force of nature, the helpless agent of our world's physical laws. This entire episode took me from fear to a rage that burned in me then, animates me now, and will likely leave me on fire for the rest of my days. — Ta-Nehisi Coates

Every time you cut programs, you take away a person who has a vested interest in high taxes and you put him on the tax rolls and make him a taxpayer. A farmer on subsidies is part welfare bum, whereas a free-market farmer is a small businessman with a gun. — Grover Norquist

But then I hit my 20s and only made two albums, and now I live in a ski resort as a ski bum basically. — Vanessa Mae

After jiu-jitsu, you will appreciate how well the body works without our even realizing or recognizing it. You will, however, have some insight into its extraordinariness when you have trouble wiping your bum because it hurts to straighten your arm. I guarantee at that point and time you will really appreciate what your body can do. — Mark Johnson

You know... the word "homeless", gives you this very negative image. A filthy raggedy hobo... it's no good. It's too demeaning of a word if you ask me. It's just not politically correct enough... If it were up to me, I'd rather we be called "residentially challenged — Nobuyuki Fukumoto

And since I'm well and on the bum again & aint got nothing else to do, but roam, long-faced, the real America, with my unreal heart, here I am eager and ready. — Jack Kerouac

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself! — Bum Phillips

Two kinds of ballplayers aren't worth a darn: One that never does what he's told, and one who does nothin' except what he's told. — Bum Phillips

Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half. — Bum Phillips

Geographically, Jess's backside was a mountain range. The sun rose over it -eventually. Huge birds of prey nested on its craggy heights and hunted in its shadows. It wouldn't have been so bad if Jess's bum had been balanced by a nice big bosom. Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, and Serena Williams were designed with this pleasing sense of balance. But geographically, Jess's boobs could not balance her bum at all. Her chest was the kind of featureless plain upon which airports are constructed. — Sue Limb

Noah: "You wanna dance with me?"
Allie: "Sure. Now?"
Noah: "Mmm Hmm"
Allie: "You're not supposed to dance in the street."
Noah: "You are supposed to dance in the street."
Allie: "Yeah, but we don't have any music."
Noah: "Well, we'll make some ... Bum bum bum bum bum bum ... "
Allie: "You're a terrible singer."
Noah: "I know."
Allie: "And I like this song. — Nicholas Sparks

She had hit rock-bottom. She had given a blow job to a man who for all intents and purposes, was a bum. He had smelled so bad, she forced him to spray on some of the perfume she always carried in her purse. Her favorite perfume. After tonight, she was quitting. Yeah, she'd have to go back home with her two kids, grovel to her mama and work a dead-end job, but anything was better than getting down on your knees to give a guy as disgusting as Lenny a one-off. — A.T. Hicks

You're so unhip, it's a wonder your bum doesn't fall off. — Douglas Adams

All right. I'll bite. Here's what I think, with the caveat that I may be wrong. I think we're here to make the world a better place than we found it. I think we don't always deserve the cards we're dealt, good or bad. But we are judged by how we play the cards we're dealt. Those of us with a bum deal that makes it harder to do good
we just have to work a little more is all. There's no destiny. There's just muddling through without doing to much damage. — Carrie Vaughn

I enjoy art, architecture, museums, churches and temples; anything that gives me insight into the history and soul of the place I'm in. I can also be a beach bum - I like to laze in the shade of a palm tree with a good book or float in a warm sea at sundown. — Cherie Lunghi

Wake up and fuck me," demanded Tarin.

"I thought your bum hurt?"

Tarin squirmed. "Want cock, too. Fall out a tree, climb it again. — Syd McGinley

Life isn't filled with perfect harmony. The world is littered with bum notes, off-key moments and tuneless episodes. The trick is to find your own music, to ignore the discord and sing your own tune. — Annie Lyons

If I just open this window a bit, that man might put his finger
up your bum. Wouldn't that be nice for you? — Richard Rider

I do loads of squats with weights. It's great for your bum and legs. — Fleur East

Clovenhoof looked at the man critically. He wasn't what Clovenhoof regarded as a proper plumber. This young man's jeans were secured with a belt above the bum-crack line, there wasn't a cigarette poking out of the corner of his mouth or tucked behind his ear and, when he spoke to Clovenhoof, he didn't address him as 'guv'nor'. — Heide Goody

Buchenwald and Dachau had knocked him crooked, and he'd never been really straight afterward. Yet he had done his best in small ways - volunteering in the city's soup kitchen, working with kids from homes that were poor, broken, or both - to straighten some things. He still thought things like that mattered; even two bits in a bum's upturned hat mattered. — Stephen King

Winning is like shaving - you do it every day or you wind up looking like a bum. — Jack Kemp

You don't win by making sensational plays; you win by not making mistakes. — Bum Phillips

I've developed contours for his elbows and knees and bum, and nobody else quite fits into me in quite the same way — Nick Hornby

Stenchgator, the Great Unwiped Bum... was listed in the Bumper Book of Bums as the stinkiest bum in the world. Most bums only registered one or two points on the Rectum scale, but Stenchgator came in at a nose-bruising 9.8 points. — Griffiths, Andy

All I ever thought was, 'I'm going to do this as long as I can, and if I can't get paid at it, I'll be a bum doing it.' And so, here I am. — Bruce Cockburn

In this neighborhood, with only forty-five cents, you're a bum. But Sobotnik, even with two dollars, he's still a bum. — Nelson Algren

I drink because I don't stand a chance and I know it. I couldn't drive a truck and I couldn't get on the cops with my build. I got to sling beer and sing when I just want to sing. I drink because I got responsibilities that I can't handle ... I am not a happy man. I got a wife and children and I don't happen to be a hard-working man. I never wanted a family ... Yes, your mother works hard. I love my wife and I love my children. But shouldn't a man have a better life? Maybe someday it will be that the Unions will arrange for a man to work and to have time for himself too. But that won't be in my time. Now, it's work hard all the time or be a bum ... no in-between. When I die, nobody will remember me for long. No one will say, "He was a man who loved his family and believed in the Union." All they will say is," Too bad. But he was nothing but a drunk no matter which way you look at it." Yes they'll say that. — Betty Smith

Savannah," he started in a softer voice, "Wait. Please. I - I didn't mean ... I just didn't want you to ... " "I'm going home," she said, rushing from the room before he could say another word. "Savannah!" He shot out of bed, following her through his bedroom door and running down the gallery as fast as his bum leg would allow. While walking or jogging were good for him, he wasn't supposed to sprint on it, and it ached and burned as he got to the top of stairs only to hear the front door slam in her wake. "GOD DAMN IT!" he bellowed, lowering himself to sit on the landing as his leg throbbed with pain. Miss Potts appeared out of nowhere to stand at the base of the stairs with her hands on her hips. She pursed her lips and tsked. "Somehow I don't think peach cobbler is going to fix this one. — Katy Regnery

It is so fascinating that someone can commit their whole entire lifestyle to being such a fantastic woman when I'm such a bum about it. — Kesha

I'm in love with 'Bravo.' Me and my girlfriends love 'Bravo-ing,' which doesn't necessarily mean watching 'Bravo.' It's when you're a bum and you're on your couch watching reality shows. — Ashley Tisdale

If you are the kind of guy who draws in 100 million people to see his film, you've got every right to be paid accordingly, but I qualify as a character actor. I don't put a bum on a seat. — Peter Mullan

From "I Exist" in Every Lyric Tells A Story.
His mother thought he was a loser
His father thought he was a bum
Plenty of times he felt like running
But he really had nowhere to run
He fought it with everything he had
With his brains and with his fists
And whenever anyone told him he was nobody
He'd tell himself "I exist — Mark Wilkins

If you're going to be a bum, be the biggest. If you're going to blow it, blow it big. — Broderick Crawford

Read as much as you can to keep the mind as supple as a baby's bum. — Jeff Bjune

When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age.In middle age I was assured greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. Four hoarse blasts of a ships's whistle still raise the hair on my neck and set my feet to tapping. The sound of a jet, an engine warming up, even the clopping of shod hooves on pavement brings on the ancient shudder, the dry mouth and vacant eye, the hot palms and the churn of stomach high up under the rib cage. In other words, once a bum always a bum. I fear this disease incurable. I set this matter down not to instruct others but to inform myself ... A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we not take a trip; a trip takes us. — John Steinbeck

If you don't burn out at the end of each day, you're a bum. — George Lois

He wondered if he'd be better off staying at the bum shelter with his false bum and forgetting about his real bum. But he couldn't. His bum was trying to take over the world. — Griffiths, Andy

I tried to be a ski bum when I stepped away from Twitter, and I wasn't a very good skier. — Evan Williams

The Sun in London ran a front page declaring my bum a national treasure. I really did laugh at that. Its not like it can actually do anything, except wiggle. — Kylie Minogue

I love traveling, but I love the bum I married, and the bums I gave birth to, more. And the dogs. I love them, too. — MaryJanice Davidson

A bum woke up in the gutter right beside where I stood looking across the street at this place. He felt in the waist of his pants and came up with a pint bottle, half full. He tipped it up and it gurgled steadily until he'd emptied it all down into him. I was only twenty-four or -five but I already knew from experience how it tasted. And people who've kissed the feet of Christ know how it tasted. I saw everything there in the gutter
the terror and the promise. Later I spent the morning in the smoky Day Labor Division with better than a hundred men who'd learned how not to move, learned how to stay beautifully still and let their lives hurt them, white men with gray faces and black men with yellow eyes. I worked the rest of the week in a factory without ever comprehending exactly what was manufactured there, and at night I'd get drunk and shut myself in a phone booth and call the woman in Minnesota who'd broken my heart. — Denis Johnson

But, oh, to bum in our secret heart while we blaze before the eyes of others I This is the work .of the Spirit of God. Work it in us, O adorable Comforter! — Charles Haddon Spurgeon

New York is the place where everyone will stop a championship fight to look at an usher giving a drunk the bum's rush. — Damon Runyon

Every troublemaker's excuse! Put it up your bum with the rest of the dirt! — Stephen King

All my parents' music came from greatest hits albums. It was like the thought of getting even one bum track was too much for them to handle. — Carol Rifka Brunt

It may be bliss not to know a tornado is coming because you have no need to worry or take action. But while your head is in the sand your bum is in the air, the tornado is still coming. — David Icke

I've got Ferraris coming out me bum. — Rod Stewart

Karl Malone's too high-class for a bum like me. — Dennis Rodman

I can relax with bums because I am a bum. I don't like laws, morals, religions, rules. I don't like to be shaped by society. — Charles Bukowski

It can bum you out when your intentions aren't, like, translated properly. — Kesha

Dallas Cowboys may be America's team, but the Houston Oilers are Texas' team. — Bum Phillips

I never scrimmage Oilers against Oilers ... What for? Houston isn't on our schedule. — Bum Phillips

Ah, but what is form but a bum wipe anyhow? — William H Gass

What do you listen to in the Protestant church? To the words of a man who has been chosen for his eloquence - and not too eloquent either, mark you, or he get's the bum's rush from the pulpit, for fear that in the end he will use his golden tongue for political ends. For a golden tongue is never satisfied until it has wagged itself over the destiny of a nation, and this the church is wise enough to know. — Djuna Barnes

But he had always believed in fighting for the underdog, against the top dog. He had learned it, not from The Home, or The School, or The Church, but from that fourth and other great moulder of social conscience, The Movies. From all those movies that had begun to come out when Roosevelt went in.
He had been a kid back then, a kid who had not been on the bum yet, but he was raised up on all those movies that they made then, the ones that were between '32 and '37 and had not yet degenerated into commercial imitations of themselves like the Dead End Kid perpetual series that we have now. He had grown up with them, those movies like the every first Dead End, like Winternet, like Grapes Of Wrath, like Dust Be My Destiny, and those other movies starring John Garfield and the Lane girls, and the on-the-bum and prison pictures starring James Cagney and George Raft and Henry Fonda. — James Jones

When I write a play, and we read it for the first time, the great fear is that everybody is going to say, 'You're a bum and you can't write. This stinks.' and throw the script in the garbage. The great hope is that they're all going to lift me up on their shoulders and carry me to the streets, singing, 'He's a genius, he's a genius!' — Tracy Letts

I didn't ask to be a hero, but I guess I have become one in the Christian community. So I accept it. But if I'm wrong about this, I guess I'll become a bum. — Hal Lindsey

Mama always said that if it can't rain on you, you're indoors. — Bum Phillips

For a beach bum you're not very chill," said Benny.
Bob frowned. "This beach bum is a retired death god who is getting a little agitated," he said. — Adam Christopher

I mean, I don't think I'm alone when I look at the homeless person or the bum or the psychotic or the drunk or the drug addict or the criminal and see their baby pictures in my mind's eye. You don't think they were cute like every other baby? — Dustin Hoffman