Breathalyzer Quotes & Sayings

New Rule: Stop calling bagpipes a musical instrument. They're actually a Scottish Breathalyzer test. You blow into one end, and if the sound that comes out the other end doesn't make you want to kill yourself
you're not drunk enough. — Bill Maher

With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer. — Jimmy Fallon

I think we could be friends on the outside. He really appreciated the makeshift vision test I gave him, and I appreciated the pointers he gave me on how to fool a Breathalyzer. It turns out he never knew he needed glasses and I never knew how much I could do with a penny. Well come to think of it, he did say he was in on a D.U.I., so maybe his method isn't quite as reliable as he thinks it is. — Jules Cassard

Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma. They end up taking up a hospital bed. It costs when, if you, they just gave, you gave, treatment early, and they got some treatment, and uhhh a breathalyzer, or uhh, an inhalator, not a breathalyzer ... — Barack Obama