Bill Cosby Himself Quotes & Sayings

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children. — Bill Cosby

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. — Bill Cosby

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job ... and I don't want it! — Bill Cosby

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children. — Bill Cosby

If you know two languages, the level of your intelligence
is multiplied a hundredfold in other people's eyes. — Bill Cosby

A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. — Bill Cosby

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl ... there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go ... ' ... if it hadn't been for his head ... — Bill Cosby

My kids and I love to listen to Bill Cosby. — Melissa Etheridge

A father ... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested. — Bill Cosby

My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself. — Bill Cosby

I want to affect culture. I want to have my mark on everything. I give examples of people like Bill Cosby, Quincy Jones - those are the people who I look up to. The game wouldn't be the same without them. What happens in the course of 5 years isn't really important to me. I care about what they'll say about me in 50 years. — Nick Cannon

I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking. — Bill Cosby

Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass. — Bill Cosby

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. — Bill Cosby

Growing up, I loved Bill Cosby. — Robin Thicke

Listen to John Coltrane enough and after two bars, just two bars at any place, and you know that's him. We all have signature things that happen to be similar that you can predict and you try to stay away from that except the rhythms: those pauses, they're part of my signature, the part where I know when I say nothing, I already painted enough, led enough and I don't even have to say anything. But those pauses don't belong to me. Jack Benny was one of the first guys in comedy to make the anticipation so great that during the pause people start to laugh before the execution. — Bill Cosby

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. — Bill Cosby

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. — Bill Cosby

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics. — Chris Rock

You come to my comedy show to be entertained. — Bill Cosby

Eddie Murphy did '48 Hrs.' because that was the only movie offered to him. And he killed it. Bill Cosby did 'I Spy' because that was the TV show he was offered. But now, there are networks dedicated to comedy, and the Internet ... it's so easy for comedians to not do things that aren't true to them. — Jerrod Carmichael

One of my favorite guys when I was young ... I've always loved Bill Cosby. I've always wanted to direct him in something. — Faizon Love

We need to have Bill Cosby month in Philadelphia. — Chaka Fattah

I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them. — Bernie Mac

The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure. — Bill Cosby

When you become senile, you won't know it. — Bill Cosby

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child. — Bill Cosby

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. — Bill Cosby

It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest. — Bill Cosby

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things. — Bill Cosby

If you have a question about anything, the answer can be found in a book somewhere in the library. — Bill Cosby

Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy. — Billy Crystal

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. — Chris Rock

There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess. — Bill Cosby