Gyles Brandreth Quotes & Sayings

One should always be suspicious of a woman who tells you that her past was burnt in the flames of a schoolhouse in Peshawar. — Gyles Brandreth

Oscar sat back and looked at me appraisingly. "I need to think. And to think I must have oysters and champagne. — Gyles Brandreth

When men give up saying what is charming," Oscar answered, "they give up thinking what is charming. I hope I'll never do that. — Gyles Brandreth

If God had meant us to go metric, why did he give Christ twelve apostles? — Gyles Brandreth

Don't switch off. Stay engaged. Resist distraction. Concentrate. Focus. Be present. Smell the coffee. Taste the food. Listen to the speech. Keep that Latin accurate. Stop thinking about what's coming next, stop checking the mobile, and relish what's happening now. Seize the day. For all you know, it's the only one you've got. Live in the moment. — Gyles Brandreth

You'll recall," said Sickert, brushing dust from his trousers with the back of his hand, "that a year or two ago I was chased through the back streets of King's Cross by a posse of prostitutes all crying 'Jack the Ripper!' after me. — Gyles Brandreth

On the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government: I think it should be made clear that the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, they have not got into bed together; they are merely sharing a room. — Gyles Brandreth

both were writers of high ambition, with — Gyles Brandreth

As a politician, you only meet two types of people. People with problems, and people who are right. — Gyles Brandreth

If you'd spent your life being called "Gyles Brandreth", you would crawl across broken glass to achieve the bliss, the simplicity, the purity, the joy of simply being called "Bob". — Gyles Brandreth

Every Holmes must have his Watson — Gyles Brandreth

John Major. He dresses so well. And so quickly. — Gyles Brandreth

Gazing at the typewriter in moments of desperation I console myself with three thoughts. Alcohol at six, dinner at eight, and to be immortal you've got to be dead. — Gyles Brandreth

As you will be aware, gentlemen, I have made it my life's work to entertain the working classes, enrage the middle classes, and fascinate the aristocracy - but I do believe I've just met my match. Accrington 'Arry here is in a class of his own, beyond my reach. — Gyles Brandreth

He loved what he did, he loved being on Countdown - he just loved life — Gyles Brandreth

I mean it,' said Bosie seriously. 'I'd like to murder him, in cold blood.'
'Well, you can't, Bosie,' said Oscar, 'leastways, not tonight.'
'Why not?' demanded Bosie petulantly.
'It's Sunday, Bosie,' said Oscar, 'and a gentleman never murders his father on a Sunday. You should know that. Did they teach you nothing at Winchester? — Gyles Brandreth

Praise makes me humble, but when I am abused, I know that I have touched the stars. — Gyles Brandreth

In life there are two types of people: those who catch the waiter's eye and those who don't. — Gyles Brandreth

Life's aim, if it has one, is to be always looking for temptations - and there are not nearly enough of them, I find. I sometimes pass the whole day without coming across a single one. It makes one so nervous about the future. — Gyles Brandreth

In the Members' Dining Room, the Conservatives eat at one end, the Labour Party at the other, while the Liberals wait at table. — Gyles Brandreth