Best Voicemail Quotes & Sayings

Toasted almond pancakes. Sweet soft 'okays'. Makin' me laugh more in a few weeks than I have in decades. 'Yes, Daddys' I feel in my dick. The first voicemail you left me, babe. I saved it and I listen to it once a day. If I lose focus, I see you on your back, knees high, legs wide, offering your sweet, wet pussy to me. You smile at me in bed every time you wander outta my bedroom in my shirts, my tees, or your work clothes and honest to Christ, it sets me up for the day. And no matter what shit goes down, I get through it knowin' whichever bed I climb into at night, you're in it ready to snuggle into me or give me what I wanna take. Your girl, a headache. You, never. And in a life that's been full of headaches, babe, having that, there is no price tag. You gotta get it and do it fuckin' now that there's a lotta different kinds of give and take. And you give as good as you get, baby, trust me. — Kristen Ashley

Many facilities use a written request process, but some settings now use a verbal voicemail or a kiosk system for requests. Whatever system is used, it should be confidential and only accessible by health care staff. In the simple paper request system, a locked dropbox is often available on every housing unit. Inmates obtain request slips from the housing officer, complete the information and submit to the dropbox where health care staff pick up requests on daily rounds. Access — Lorry Schoenly

But when the other end of the line picked up, it was his voicemail that answered, not the man himself. "I know how devastated you must be to miss me," his cheery voice said, "but leave a message, and I'll try to ease your agony as soon as possible. — Richelle Mead

No one writes a story like Lydia Davis. In the years since she began publishing her lyrical, extremely short fiction, she has quietly become one of the most impactful influences on American writers, even if they don't know it. That's largely because she makes economy seem so easy. You could read several of her stories into a friend's voicemail box before you were cut off (and you should). You could fit one of her stories in this column. Some you could write on your palm. — Jonathan Messinger

Most of us still haven't grasped the fact that everything we commit to the digital space - not just our public blogs and broadcast tweets, but every private text message, email, and voicemail is likely to be stored and accessible. Forever. — Douglas Rushkoff

No, it's not comfortable; I hate watching myself. You don't like when you hear your voice on your voicemail; imagine having to see yourself 30 feet wide and 30 feet big. — Don Cheadle

I like to sing and leave songs on voicemail. It comes from the heart. — Matt Bomer

I can't listen to my own voice. I change my voicemail on my machine literally every week because I'm so obsessed with getting the right tone of voice. — Michael Angarano

I hardly ever watch my own work. I just end up picking myself apart! I can't even stand to hear myself on voicemail. the sound of my own voice is like nails on a chalkboard. The same goes for my records. — Grey DeLisle

Checking voicemail is like, "When's the other shoe going to drop?" I'm always afraid it's going to be terrible news I don't want to hear. — Annie E. Clark

Generally, I like to write in the morning before all the dust of dreams has blown away. Beforehand, I read two papers, cook my breakfast and then settle down in front of the word processor, usually by 8 A.M. I'll write, and then check e-mail or voicemail when things stall. — Scott Turow

The number of calls from you on my phone is zero. The number of calls from me to you is one. When you hear the voicemail, I hope you don't hear the desperation in the way I wish you all the luck in the world and tell you how pleased I am for you. I hope you don't hear the way my lungs breathe 'iloveyouineedyoupleasedontgo' every time I draw in a breath. — Nikita Gill

One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'

THAT WAS IT.

I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'

Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari

Why do extroverts have voicemail? To never miss a call.

Why do introverts have voicemail? To never answer the phone. — Devora Zack

Can't you just see it? Can't you see us with gray hair, sitting at those late night football games. I'll be the dad with one eye on my football playing sons, and the other on our daughter, who if she looks anything like you, I will need to carry a gun to fight off all of those horny teenage boys. — Jennifer Foor

The more we communicate with God, the shorter the distance to the long distance call! He never has voicemail on! EL — Evinda Lepins

I know you have your own life, his mother said to his voicemail. I was just hoping to be part of it for a few hours. — Maggie Stiefvater

The bigger you grow, the more intimate communication has to be. It almost has to be belly and belly. As you get bigger and bigger in an organization, everything gets more and more detached and everything is on email or voicemail. That's the worse thing because lack of intimacy is one of the downsides (of growth). — Anita Roddick

Well, on some level, it's similar to the psychological phenomenon of helplessness, where the will to try is lost. You get to the point where you just assume that your spontaneous call to a friend will go to voicemail or an assistant, and you decide not to bother. — Zack Love

Hi, you've reached Caitlin! I'm either on the other line or I'm purposely ignoring you. Or maybe Mrs. Mitchell confiscated my phone for texting in class again ... Leave a message and if I deem you worthy, or at least hot, I'll call you back. Mwah! — Mari Mancusi

When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. — Nenia Campbell

I have a phobia of checking voicemail. I watched a lot of TV as a kid, and everything is, like, you're gonna get kidnapped, or somebody's gonna die, or killer bees are going to take you out. I'm a very anxious person. — Annie E. Clark

... I ignore the message from Jenna, who wants to talk about Kayla and what a bitch she is. I think she actually said "witch" in the voicemail, but if that's what she means, I don't see what a difference the vocabulary makes — Deb Caletti

Don't find a nice guy. You'd get bored, and he wouldn't know what to do with you. So ... yeah, be pissed at me if you want, but you
you're one-of-a-kind ... " He paused, unsure of what he was really trying to say. "So just find a guy that gets that, you know?" He rolled his eyes at the longest voicemail in history. "Or just ignore me, because it's none of my business, anyway. — Elizabeth Hunter

I can get my voicemail transcribed and sent to me as e-mail. I want to be able to have my address book and all my life come up on my TV and video chat. The whole telecommunications experience through a wire is still very relevant. — Brian L. Roberts

He should voicemail get open! — Jon Gruden

Though she promised that she would take care of things, she was ghost, just like I thought. She wasn't answering my text messages, and she was straight sending me to voicemail when I called. I — Jessica N. Watkins

I got Robbie's mobile number and rang him. It went to his voicemail: 'Hi, it's Robbie - whazzup!' Like the Budweiser ad. I never called him back. I thought: 'I can't be f****** signing that'. — Roy Keane

Don't leave a message," his voicemail said. "If you do, I might call you back. We could end up communicating, and that would be awkward. — K.D. Sarge

Everyone is called, but most let it go to voicemail. What's worse, when the Universe tries to leave a message, it gets 'mailbox full.'
Derek Rydall — Derek Rydall