Best Tom Holt Quotes & Sayings

Only please, do be careful to bear in mind that Mordak's a goblin. Enlightened, yes, but a goblin. He likes his employees loyal or lightly steamed on a bed of bruised rocket. — Tom Holt

There ought to be a dictionary of smiles; somewere you can look them up and find out what they mean. — Tom Holt

The fault was lying on its' back... — Tom Holt

...[She] was not nearly so intrusive. If she happened to observe the comings and goings of her friends out of the corner of her eye (which she could hardly fail to do, given the nature of her favorite sitting-place) and chanced to be able to remember when she had seen them and where they had been going, it was simply a tribute to her keen powers of observation and recall. Conscious spying was beneath her altogether. — Tom Holt

There's all sorts of things I was always meaning to get around to - learning to play the flute, calculating the square root of nought, going mad - but I just didn't have the time. — Tom Holt

There's nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it's basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly. — Tom Holt

It had all dropped into place, like the last bit of the jigsaw, which you thought all along was a bit of left-hand sky, but when you turn it over you realise it's the last chunk of right-hand sea, or the sky tricksily reflected in the surface of the pond. — Tom Holt

You wouldn't think you could get bored falling to your death ... But when it's a really, really long drop, there's a definite risk on ennui. — Tom Holt

Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever. — Tom Holt

Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant. — Tom Holt

He could hear rain pattering on the thatch, like a million mice line-dancing. — Tom Holt

I have this vision of maybe going the way of Bill Kurtis and, I think, Tom Brokaw, to a certain extent - the ability to not be tied to the desk anymore, but to do projects that are meaningful to you. — Lester Holt

And if I've got to die, I want to die an editor. — Tom Holt

There's an old goblin saying; there is nothing to fear but fear itself and scary things. — Tom Holt

The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet. — Tom Holt

It was worth repeating, because it constituted the First Law of Sentient Ordnance: Thou shalt not blow up the wrong planet. On that point the programmers had been insistent to the point of fussiness. Accordingly, — Tom Holt

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy. — Tom Holt

Mr Tanner frowned at him, as though he was a spelling mistake. — Tom Holt

Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour.
How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics. — Tom Holt

A romantic, I think the word is. Latin for idiot. — Tom Holt

Luck, like a Russian car, generally only works if you push it. — Tom Holt

He believes it's time to redesign Evil from the ground up; to face the challenges and opportunities of a diverse, rapidly changing society.
"He's thinking of calling it," said Miss Gold, "New Evil. — Tom Holt

So; in the beginning was the Word, but ten nanoseconds later there was a twelve-volume dictionary, and ten nanoseconds after that a Library of Congress, with 90 per cent of the books in foreign languages. It's probably not possible after such a lapse of time to find out what the original Word was. Given the consequences, however, it could well have been oops. — Tom Holt

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted. — Tom Holt

Georgie paused on the threshold for a moment as if hesitant to enter the habitation of such a perjurer lest it should be struck by lightning. — Tom Holt

There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants. — Tom Holt

{She] laughed so that the street seemed full of little silver bells, — Tom Holt

Although her hearing was excellent, she had that gift of temporary deafness that is granted to so few. — Tom Holt

Birmingham City Council was playing third time lucky with the design of the city's celebrated Victoria Square ... — Tom Holt

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try. — Tom Holt

I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either. — Tom Holt

As was usual in Tilling, the presence of the Wyses curbed the tongued and improved the manner of those around them...A silence generally fell on the company after Mr. Wyse had finished speaking, his language was so fine, so Augustan that it seemed a pity to defile its memory with effusions in the sugar tongue. — Tom Holt

That's the problem with running away, said the little voice. No matter where you go, you have to take yourself with you; and if yourself is constitutionally incapable of leaving well enough alone and not worrying if the rest of the world is weirder than ferret ragout, where the hell is the point? — Tom Holt

Just when you've squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap — Tom Holt

The conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol. — Tom Holt

Mr Winckler clapped his hands together. Evil, as personified by me. Meet the new Dark Lord. But you can call me Albert. — Tom Holt