Best Real Housewives Quotes & Sayings

Reality TV now doesn't feel reality TV when it started. The line between reality and fiction is blurred. So many of these people are phony or shallow, in their own right. If you've ever watched any of The Real Housewives, or those types of shows, they're all performing. Even though they're real people, they're performing. — Portia De Rossi

It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.' — Christine Teigen

Because I'm shooting 'The New Normal' and 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' at the same time, so my schedule is double. I leave one show and go and shoot the other. The cameras are with me for, like, every day of my life. So I'm extremely tired. — NeNe Leakes

I watch every 'Real Housewives' franchise there is. — Shanola Hampton

I have terrible taste in things: music, movies, TV shows. I love all the guilty pleasures: Bravo, 'Real Housewives.' — Grace Helbig

I'm not a real makeup girl - you see me in lots of makeup on 'Housewives,' but I'm really all about skin. Take it from me: Wash, moisturize, and never neglect the neck. — NeNe Leakes

That's what she was, Joanna felt suddenly. That's what they all were, all the Stepford wives: actresses in commercials, pleased with detergents and floor wax, with cleansers, shampoos, and deodorants. Pretty actresses, big in the bosom but small in the talent, playing housewives unconvincingly, too nicey-nice to be real. — Ira Levin

You know, we've got so much on Bravo and coming up on Bravo, and I think we have so much more going on than 'The Real Housewives.' And I think 'The Real Housewives' is a great, you know, great addition to the portfolio. I think it brings a lot of viewers under our umbrella. And I think they stay and sample other shows. — Andy Cohen

I'm pretty obsessed with 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey.' I usually watch it on the bus after a show with my husband Jimi. As much as he will deny it, he loves the show as much as I do. — Karen Fairchild

I had to start watching [The Real Housewives of New Jersey] every week because, well, my IQ was just too high. I mean seriously up there. What can I tell you? After watching every episode, I am now officially as dumb as that brown, particle-like stuff you find outside and don't want to track inside the house. Rhymes with "wirt", I think. — Celia Rivenbark

Sometimes I want to be on 'The Real Housewives of New York.' I want to remind them to figure out how to get along and support each other. — Candace Bushnell

New Rule: Stop putting all those pillows on the bed. Attention, interior designers, hotel maids, and real housewives of New Jersey: It's a bed, not an obstacle course. I'm sorry, baby, I'd like to make sweet love to you all night long, but by the time I get all that crap off your bed, I'm exhausted. A bed needs only two pillows: one to put my head on, and one to cuddle with and pretend it's Robert Pattinson. — Bill Maher

I would love to be on a Real Housewives from somewhere reality show. Then I could show all those women how the rest of our society gets to do it. — Heather Chapple

Well, if this place is going down, I'll just go home. I have hours of Real Housewives DVRed that I have to catch up on." Holli sounded almost bored at the idea of the top fashion magazine in the country going into a tailspin. Probably because no matter what happened, she would be fine. Holli didn't have an ego about her job, and would just as happily do cleaning product commercials as high-fashion shoots. I often used her somewhat lackadaisical approach to her career to get some perspective on my own. — Abigail Barnette

I just - I like the saccharin and the gooeyness of 'Bachelor,' and how just gross and like falsely romantic it is. Whereas, like, the 'Real Housewives' is just raw, and it's just - it's the fights that get me. It's just very uncomfortable for me. — Ken Marino

Thank you ... 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo. — Jimmy Fallon

I'm very obsessed with 'The Real Housewives' franchise. It's a bad obsession. — Vanessa Marano

The politicians in Ireland speak Gaelic the way the Real Housewives of Orange County speak French. — Michael Lewis

I love the 'Housewives.' I don't watch 'American Idol' or 'X Factor.' I guess I don't like network reality: I like my Bravo; I like documentary programming - I love 'Intervention' and some things on TLC more than others - but the 'Real Housewives' to me are really revolutionary, in terms of giving camera time to women of a certain age. — Julie Klausner

When snooty high school bitches grow up, their meanness is distilled into its purest, most lethal form," Emmie whispered fearfully. "Don't you watch Real Housewives? — Jayne Denker

I remember in second grade, everybody in the class had to come up with adjectives for each other, and I got shy. In a way, I force myself to perform, because if I didn't, I'd stay home rolled up in a ball watching 'The Real Housewives of Orange County' all day. — June Diane Raphael

In any East Asian culture, you will find that women have a very tangible power within the household. This is often rejcted by non-Asian feminists who argue that it is not real power, but.. Japanese women look at the low status attributed to the domestic labor of housewives in North America and feel that this amounts to a denigration of a fundamental social role - whether it is performed by a man or a woman. — Sandra Buckley

Poetry is a popular genre in Afghanistan. If you turned on the radio, there would be a poetry program that would be as popular as The Real Housewives. — Eliza Griswold

You watch stuff like 'The Real Housewives' and you start to think, 'We're all so vacuous! Is there any nobility to any of these people?' But then you look out into the world, and there are people who are doing cool stuff with their lives. — Mike White

I don't like reality shows and have never watched them, but I'm addicted to 'Real Housewives' because it's authentic old-time soap opera reborn! — Camille Paglia

The Playtex Secrets survey truly uncovered some thought-provoking and provocative secrets of real American housewives. In fact, many of the findings would make great fodder for a storyline on the show! — Alfre Woodard

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? — Chelsea Handler

Dear God, master of the universe, compassionate and merciful: we who are steeped in sin, kneel in supplication before your throne and beseech you to recall from this world Saadat Hasan Manto, son of Ghulam Hasan Manto, who was a man of great piety. Take him away, Lord, for he runs away from fragrance and chases after filth. He hates the bright sun, preferring dark labyrinths. He has nothing but contempt for modesty but is fascinated by the naked and the shameless. He hates sweetness, but will give his life to taste bitter fruit. He will not so much as look at housewives but is in seventh heaven in the company of whores. He will not go near running waters, but loves to wade through filth. Where others weep, he laughs; and where others laugh, he weeps. Faces blackened by evil, he loves to wash with tender care to make visible their real features. He never thinks about you but follows Satan everywhere, the same fallen angel who once disobeyed you. — Saadat Hasan Manto

I'd only watch the Kardashians and the Real Housewives if they were in a Hunger Games-style death match. Sitting — Brenda Rothert

Bravo's 'Real Housewives' series isn't just entertainment for devoted fans like me - it's an entire all-absorbing universe of pride and passion. — Camille Paglia