Best Kroll Quotes & Sayings

Oftentimes the shows that don't work help you get it right. — Nick Kroll

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd. — Nick Kroll

An attitude can murder just as easily as an ax. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Glory in Christ and you can bask in His light forever. — Woodrow M. Kroll

It's not that weird, but when I was in Peru, I ate a guinea pig. If you're going to eat guinea pig, you call it cuy. Cute word for such a cute little animal that I ate a few times. — Nick Kroll

Quite honestly, most people are quick to "write someone off." But our God is a God of the second chance. Learn from One who is patient with you, and you'll learn to be patient with others. — Woodrow M. Kroll

I was, like, a history major, and I minored in art and Spanish, but I found myself gravitating toward media studies as time went on. — Nick Kroll

I gave the graduation speech at my high school. Not because I was valedictorian but because the grade voted for me to do it. And I gave a slightly contentious speech. I was a little critical of the administration. But for a long time it said on Wikipedia that I took my balls out and exposed myself to the crowd. — Nick Kroll

You think you're going to be on TV a year out of college and you're not. Then you tell people and it's embarrassing. And then it's not a big deal at all. — Nick Kroll

No doubt there are people who are our guests [ in Oh, Hello] who are more famous, but to me, Mel Brooks is the most famous person. So that was really cool. — Nick Kroll

I know it's going to sound cheesy, but I love show business. I love doing comedy, I love that I get to do all this with my friends. — Nick Kroll

For me, the best characters are the ones that feel fully formed inside and out, so I try to have a very clear vision of exactly what they would wear, top to bottom, who they are, what their backstory is, what their family situation is, who are their friends, just creating as much of a three-dimensional character [as possible]. Because I think you could do a very broad character, but as long as there's some emotional truth to them you can get away with really crazy things. — Nick Kroll

He is a poor man who can only measure his wealth in dollars. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Although I'm a comedian, I'm also an amateur survivalist. — Nick Kroll

In New York, you are forced into having very public lives and observing all types of people, what they sound like, what they're reading, what they smell like, what they are listening to, how they talk to their friends. — Nick Kroll

Sometimes shows suffer from having many cooks in the kitchen. — Nick Kroll

My best friend, Andrew Goldberg - and this is genuinely not me trying to cross-promote, but this new Netflix show I'm doing called Big Mouth is about me and my best friend, Andrew Goldberg, from childhood - but there was a year when I went to his house after school every day and we watched Wayne's World and ate Doritos. — Nick Kroll

What you can't go through on your own, God will help you fly over. — Woodrow Kroll

There cannot be an answer until there is a prayer. — Woodrow M. Kroll

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase. — Nick Kroll

I think that being on the road and doing more and more stand-up has allowed me to figure out ... like, I don't think I'll ever be Bill Hicks, but I think I'm figuring out what my opinion is on things. — Nick Kroll

Wrap up the 20th century; Fred Astaire is gone. — Jack Kroll

Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it. — Nick Kroll

What business would judged on the first week that it's in business? — Nick Kroll

My experience in TV is that it takes time for shows to find their way. — Nick Kroll

I think that the web and its various facets are incredibly useful in just building a fan base and getting your chops better. — Nick Kroll

I had PubLIZity, I had Oh, Hello, I had Bobby and Farley - all of these sketches that were really these duo sketches, but the relationship between them is really what catapulted them forward. A lot of that, I think, came from Wayne and Garth, these two similar guys - they're Midwestern metal guys - but in the end, they're quite different because there's an alpha and a beta. And I think that model became very present for me on Kroll Show. — Nick Kroll

Pray according to faith, not circumstances. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Don't settle for wishful thinking; make peace in your heart a reality. — Woodrow M. Kroll

It's always weird to eat something that is a pet elsewhere. — Nick Kroll

Don't watch Kroll Show if you don't have a Nielsen box. I honestly don't care. Feel free to DVR it and not watch it because that will somehow help my ratings maybe, but honestly I'm talking to the four of you with a Nielsen box. If you have a Nielsen box, like, who are you? Where do you live? How do I find you? You're a unicorn and I don't believe that you exist. — Nick Kroll

Ultimately, all our complaints are directed against God. — Woodrow M. Kroll

A moment of prayerful reflection can prevent a lifetime of bitter regret. — Woodrow M. Kroll

It was sort of in the jam-band era and it was at the Capitol Theatre in Port Chester [New York], right where I grew up. I actually went back there a couple years ago when I was on tour for Kroll Show. I performed at that theater, which was really cool to go back to the first place I'd gone to a concert. — Nick Kroll