Best Golden Retriever Quotes & Sayings

Once someone has had the good fortune to share a true love affair with a Golden Retriever, one's life and one's outlook is never quite the same. — Betty White

My friend Phil has a theory that the Lord, having made teenagers, felt constrained to make amends and so created the golden retriever. — Mary McGrory

I've watched goldfish make babies, and ants execute earwigs. I've seen a fly deliver live young while having its head eaten by a mantis. And I had a golden retriever behave like one. — N.D. Wilson

Otis, on the other hand, didn't miss home a bit. He had always hated the stairs in our house in Massachusetts. He was now five years old and very large for a golden retriever. I thought he was fat, but Bruce insisted he was just "big-boned". Either way, climbing the steep stairs at home was a challenge. Whenever Bruce and I went upstairs, Otis would sit near the bottom step, carefully calculating whether we would be on the second floor long enough to make it worthwhile to heave himself up the stairs. And on the way down the stairs, Otis was like a fully loaded eighteen-wheeler barreling down a steep hill. We just got out of his way.
But in the new Washington apartment building, Otis had an elevator. As far as he was concerned, life was sweet. — Elizabeth Warren

I am the planet's most affectionate life-form, something like the cross between a golden retriever and a barnacle. — Elizabeth Gilbert

You have a roommate."
"Yeah." He sounds confused.
"The, um, picture on your door surprised me."
"NO. No. I prefer my women with ... fewer carnivorous beasts and less weaponry." He pauses and smiles. "Naked is okay. What she needs are a golden retriever and a telescope. Maybe then it would do it for me."
I laugh.
"A squirrel and a laboratory beaker?"
"A bunny rabbit and a flip chart," I say.
"Only if the flip chart has mathematical equations on it."
I fake swoon onto his bed. "Too much, too much! — Stephanie Perkins

The dog looked nothing like the lonely mongrel in her stories. The bedraggled golden retriever halted where the bungalow walkway met the public sidewalk. Girl and beast regarded each other. She called to him, "Here, boy, here." He needed to be coaxed, but eventually he approached the porch and climbed the steps. Bibi stooped to his level to peer into his eyes, which were as golden as his coat. "You stink." The retriever yawned, as if his stinkiness was old news to him. He — Dean Koontz

There was a golden retriever who saved countless lives on September 11 by going back in to find people. His companion was in a wheelchair. He got him out and kept going back in to save others. — Linda Blair

The little ball went up, then down, then up in his palm. My inner golden retriever couldn't look away. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

We threw chew toys to Misty, Mom's golden retriever that she bought two years ago secondhand. Misty was supposed to be a seeing-eye dog, but she failed her exam because she's too affectionate. It's a flaw we don't mind. — Douglas Coupland

The theory is simple.
Every boy, every man, is really
a bit of a golden retriever
or a big chocolate Lab.
Watch any man's eyes
at the bounce of a ball.
His head tilts slightly sideways, just a hair,
as a primitive focus
comes to life. — Toby Barlow

If Levi were a dog, he'd be a golden retriever. If he were a game, he'd be a Ping-Pong, incessant and bouncing and light. — Rainbow Rowell

Try throwing a ball just once for a dog. It would be like eating only one peanut or potato chip. Try to ignore the importuning of a Golden Retriever who has brought you his tennis ball, the greatest treasure he possesses! — Roger Caras

I call my golden retriever Cara my 'white wolf.' She's changed my attitude and made me write this book where the wolf is the hero, not the villain. — Debi Gliori

We don't even have a goldfish." "You've got to think toward the future." My dad smiled at me. "Maybe one day you'll move out and your mom and I will get a golden retriever to replace you. — Robin Benway

Okay, you drive," she said. "I'll sit with m head hanging out of the window like a golden retriever. — Kim Harrison

Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty good, like oxtail. To be perfectly honest, it's delicious. (Anything about this to my golden retriever, and I'll punch your lights out.) — P. J. O'Rourke

Hey, do you know what you call a blond with a brain?" I asked, and the continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."
I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.
I'll keep trying." I promised. — Stephenie Meyer

There is something about the human condition. I don't think dogs are like "If only I was a poodle instead of a golden retriever, I'd be totally happy." Dogs are happy with who they are. — Michael Ian Black

Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it."
Luke laughed. "I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever."
-Clary & Luke, pg.415- — Cassandra Clare

A lifetime's experience urges me to utter a warning cry: do anything else, take someone's golden retriever for a walk, run away with a saxophone player. Perhaps what's wrong with being a writer is that one can't even say 'good luck'
luck plays no part in the writing of a novel. No happy accidents as with the paint pot or chisel. I don't think you can say anything, really. I've always wanted to juggle and ride a unicycle, but I dare say if I ever asked the advice of an acrobat he would say, 'All you do is get on and start pedaling'. — J.G. Ballard

The face of a golden retriever feels like home. — David Rosenfelt

I also go on long walks with my dog, a golden retriever named Breeze-and I work out with weights at a health club a couple of times a week. — Karen Hughes

Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class. — Stephenie Meyer

I mean, there's a lot of other things I could do for money. I could sell autographed ECT machines or rhinestoned mood stabilizers or even Star Wars scented laxatives. But do I do that? Do I do a commercial on television to (attempt to) sell a medication while running around some random backyard with some rented golden retriever laughing and looking cured and totally amazed to be so worry-free while a voice comes on and says, "Reginol is not recommended for wayward fish or Libras with dementia. If you notice swelling in your femur or notice a subtle beam of backlight glowing northward from your anus or the anus of someone you went to school with, call your doctor immediately as this could be a symptom of hydrocephalus that could lead to roughhousing and misguided bloat. Reginol is not recommended for pregnant Nazis or yodelers over seventy. Reginol does not protect you from unpopularity or autism . . . " All — Carrie Fisher

The big one was at least cute, and as annoying as she was, you couldn't get mad at a golden retriever. — Chelsea Handler

I am very benign-looking. I'm somewhat like a golden retriever: It's not hard to look at me. I'm perfectly fine. It's not like things jut out and make you nervous. But the lovely thing about being so pale and having such pasty features is that I can look like pretty much anything, which is nice. — Elizabeth Mitchell

Such a better world it would be if we all had the morals of a Golden Retriever; butt sniffing notwithstanding. — A.A. Bell

So when the moon's only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy?"
"You could say that."
"Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it."
"I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever. — Cassandra Clare

The voice in my head is is fond of upper-case. It's like having a sub-cranial golden retriever. — Tabitha McGowan