Best Colonoscopy Quotes & Sayings

One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!!
The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said! — Jim Lawrence

The next hour of canvassing was like a greatest hits tour for the worried well. Yoga, Pilates, massage, energy healing, and Rolfing specialists occupied space next to an optometrist, nutritionist, and a variety of MDs. You could have your aura checked, get your spine realigned, and have a colonoscopy, all without moving your car. — Ingrid Thoft

What percentage should you give? I tell people to start with 10 percent because the Bible writers have a lot to say about the tithe, which means, "tenth." For some people, that's extremely uncomfortable. But so is a colonoscopy, and those save countless lives. — Andy Stanley

Like the twig furniture she made, thinking it was going to make us rich, only she's shit with a hammer and nails and the stuff ended up being deadly. You were practically begging for a colonoscopy if you sat on it. — Susan Juby

He was looking forward to this about as much as one would look forward to a tooth extraction, or perhaps a vasectomy. A colonoscopy? He pondered a list of horrific things that could possibly be less painful than a week-long royal wedding. — Jessica Clare

You don't need to like [a gun] to know you got to have it. I don't like gettin' a colonoscopy every five years, but I grit my teeth and drop my drawers and get it done just the same. — Dean Koontz

What are you giving him?"
She grins smugly. "Only the greatest gift a woman can give the man she loves."
I take my best guess. "Anal?"
Kate covers her eyes.
Dee-Dee's smile turns into a scowl. "No
pig. I'm giving him the gift of health. My acupuncturist cleared her schedule. She's going to work on Matthew the whole day."
I laugh. Because this explains so much.
"That's your gift? Really? It's the guy's birthday and you're gonna make him get needles stuck in his face all day? What are you gonna get him for Christmas - a colonoscopy? — Emma Chase

Then again, could you go through a colonoscopy with someone and not be wedded for life? — Deb Caletti

Trying to act normal with FBI running from office to office, was like trying to carry on a conversation when having a colonoscopy. — Matthew Mather

Some older or very ill patients may not be suitable candidates for fecal transfer. Colonoscopy is an invasive procedure, especially for those patients who are too ill with other conditions like cancer, heart failure, dialysis, or Alzheimer's. — J. Thomas LaMont

If you get a colonoscopy, you should really insist they give you no drugs - then you do get to see what it's like to swim through your own intestines. — Mary Roach

I don't want a politician who's thinking about fashion for even one millisecond. It's the same as medical professionals. The idea of a person in a Comme des Garcons humpback dress giving me a colonoscopy is just not groovy. — Simon Doonan

If one has a routine colonoscopy at the age of 50 and then colonoscopies thereafter as the physician recommends, you could largely prevent colon cancer, you could detect it in its very earliest stages and cure it. — Laurie Glimcher

ATLANTA NIGHTS: I haven't been this stunned since my colonoscopy. — Dennis L. McKiernan