Beattie Quotes & Sayings

I like a lot of Margaret Atwood, I like much of Alice Munro. Again, if you were to ask me about male writers, there's often a novel I admire, but not all of their works. — Ann Beattie

People and things don't stop our pain or heal us. In recovery, we learn that this is our job, and we can do it by using our resources: ourselves, our Higher Power, our support systems, and our recovery program. — Melody Beattie

Like it or not, i was already learning that in the worst and darkest time, I would find specks of light, moments of joy. What I didn't want to learn was the other, harsher lesson - that in life's brightest moments there would also be unbearable pain. p 87 — Melody Beattie

Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. — Melody Beattie

Expressing passion and gratitude will guide your life. Say it again and again. Say it until you believe it. Say it until you live it. — Melody Beattie

Today I will surrender to discipline. I realize that sometimes it takes time to see the fruits of my labors, yet I still need to practice discipline. Help me to remember, God, that I'm moving forward, and that I'm learning the very important art of discipline. — Melody Beattie

Taking care of myself is a big job. No wonder I avoided it for so long. - ANONYMOUS — Melody Beattie

Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as I go through my day. I will not judge myself for what I'm feeling; I will accept myself. — Melody Beattie

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness, go in peace. Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace. — Melody Beattie

Letting go of our ideas about how life should go is a choice that sets life's magic free. — Melody Beattie

When our heart is broken, we can't hear it. And when we can't hear our heart, we can't hear God. — Melody Beattie

Panic is our great enemy. — Melody Beattie

Craig Beattie's quick, he's very fast, and he's got great pace — Alex McLeish

Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. — Melody Beattie

This is a story, told the way you say stories should be told: Somebody grew up, fell in love, and spent a winter with her lover in the country. This, of course, is the barest outline, and futile to discuss. It's as pointless as throwing birdseed on the ground while snow still falls fast. Who expects small things to survive when even the largest get lost? People forget years and remember moments. Seconds and symbols are left to sum things up: the black shroud over the pool. Love, in its shortest form becomes a word. — Ann Beattie

Don't violate your own code of values and ethics, but don't waste energy trying to make other people violate theirs. — Melody Beattie

Life is always moving, changing, shifting into its next shape. The movement is natural. It is how we evolve. Let the shifts happen. Take responsibility for yourself each step of the way. Trust the new shape and form of your world — Melody Beattie

We don't have to take things so personally. We take things to heart that we have no business taking to heart. For instance, saying "If you loved me you wouldn't drink" to an alcoholic makes as much sense as saying "If you loved me, you wouldn't cough" to someone who has pneumonia. Pneumonia victims will cough until they get appropriate treatment for their illness. Alcoholics will drink until they get the same. When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you - they are saying they don't love themselves. — Melody Beattie

Well, a few years ago I think I could have given you a more enthusiastic answer about that but in the last few years, for the first time in my life, I really haven't listened to much music. I used to work with music on and now I don't. — Ann Beattie

Much of what happens in Love Always is really from overheard conversations in the Russian Tea Room. It's an improvisation of the way certain Hollywood agents think and talk to each other. — Ann Beattie

For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. When you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing control. Gain control of yourself and your responsibilities. Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free. ACTIVITY Is there an event or person in your life that you are trying to control? Why? Write a few paragraphs about it. — Melody Beattie

We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world. — Melody Beattie

It's gratifying that it does; I love to give readings. — Ann Beattie

Are you balanced? Do you share your time, your energy, your life, as much with yourself as you do with those around you? ... Know your limits. You are one of the most important people you need to look after and love. Balance your time, your energy, your life with those around you. You'll be able to give more freely and joyfully as a result, and you'll be more open to the gifts of the universe. It's not wrong to give to others. But it's okay to say yes to ourselves, too. — Melody Beattie

When I was teaching at Harvard in the 1970s, I went to Project Incorporated in Cambridge and took photography classes. I didn't even know how to aim the camera in those days. — Ann Beattie

Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable ... — Melody Beattie

Blah, blah, blah, regret to inform you that DI Gray has tendered his resignation; blah, blah, blah; opportunity to reward performance; blah, blah, blah; suggestions by next Wednesday.

McPherson had scribbled, "BEATTIE?" in the margin in red biro.

Idiot.

Logan stuck the memo back in the drawer. Detective Sergeant Beattie couldn't arrest his own backside with three patrol cars and a search warrant. — Stuart MacBride

I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life. — Melody Beattie

I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn. — Melody Beattie

Today I will stop trying to control my relationships. I will participate at a reasonable level and let the other person do the same. I can let go, knowing that the relationship will find its own life-or not-and that I don't have to do all the work, only my share. — Melody Beattie

When we came in she had her chair sideways, without even looking up to know that it was us, that the doctors had said that sitting and staring at the snow was a waste of time; she should get involved in something. She laughed and told us it wasn't a waste of time. It would be a waste of time just to stare at snowflakes, but she was counting, and even that might be a waste of time, but she was only counting the ones that were just alike — Ann Beattie

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty. — Melody Beattie

We see and understand more about our behaviors. We come aware. And aware. And aware ... Often, we feel uncertain about what to do with all this awareness. — Melody Beattie

The only person you can now or ever change is yourself. The only person that it is your business to control is yourself. — Melody Beattie

Beliefs create reality — Melody Beattie

God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive. — Melody Beattie

are experts at taking care of everybody around us, do we doubt our ability to take care of ourselves? What is it about us? Many of us learned these things because when we were children, someone very important to us was unable to give us the love, approval, and emotional security we needed. So we've gone about our lives the best way we could, still looking vaguely or desperately for something we never got. Some of us are still beating our heads against the cement trying to get this love from people who, like Mother or Father, are unable to give what we need. The cycle repeats itself until it is interrupted and stopped. It's called unfinished business. — Melody Beattie

We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people's responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we've done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle. — Melody Beattie

Of all the judgments that we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence. ... No significant aspect of our thinking, motivation, feelings, or behavior is unaffected by our self-evaluation ... . — Melody Beattie

Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect. — Melody Beattie

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power. — Melody Beattie

I might bump into them because I live in Belfast, and Belfast is not that big a place. You go for a walk, and you walk past Kit Harington. You go for a meal, and there's Peter Dinklage. — Ian Beattie

I think almost always that what gets me going with a story is the atmosphere, the visual imagery, and then I people it with characters, not the other way around. — Ann Beattie

While I would agree that I write about serious subjects, and that they're not necessarily the most pleasant subjects or even the most pleasant people, as a writer I just think about the humorous aspects of these things - that's what keeps me going when I'm writing a story. — Ann Beattie

The test, the mark, of a person that's on a spiritual path is whether they can live in harmony. — Melody Beattie

Today I will honor, cherish, and love myself. When I get confused about what to do, I just have to remember that I need to be true to myself. I will break free of the hold that others-and their expectations-ha ve on me. — Melody Beattie

We decided that sooner or later you had to learn to live without almost everybody, at least for a while. Even people you didn't think you could live without. p 167
love always found itself again. — Melody Beattie

According to some Eastern religion, there is a belt that goes across the world, and I've heard that Minnesota is right in the heart of this spiritual-creative belt of energy. — Melody Beattie

He thought as a sage, though he felt like a man. — James Beattie

I think I write about things that are mysterious to me. — Ann Beattie

Seek healing, a refilling of energy and spirit, as soon as you see that you need it. You don't have to push yourself to give, do, or perform when what your body, mind, soul and emotions need is to heal. — Melody Beattie

If we want to change what happens, we change what we believe and expect. — Melody Beattie

Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road. — Melody Beattie

Today I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. Instead, I will choose to like and approve of myself. The people who count (including me) will respect me when I'm true to who I really am. — Melody Beattie

Codependents make great employees. They don't complain; they do more than their share; they do whatever is asked of them; they please people; and they try to do their work perfectly - at least for a while, until they become angry and resentful. — Melody Beattie

Quit hanging on to the handrails ... Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day. — Melody Beattie

I mean, first, almost all writers these days teach because they don't make enough money publishing to live on, to support themselves - people like Tobias Wolff, Anne Beattie, Amy Hempel, Stuart Dybek; a lot of short story writers, for one thing. — Chad Harbach

Other people maay be there to help us, teach us, guide us aolng our path, But the lesson to be learned is always ours — Melody Beattie

We don't want to give the controls to someone else; we want those reins ourselves. We want to get our way. And we get upset when things don't work out ... When we try to control someone else or events beyond the scope of our power, we lose. When we learn to discern the difference between what we can change and what we can't, we usually have an easier time expressing our power in our lives. Because we're not wasting all our energy using our power to change things we can't, we have a lot of energy left over to live our lives. — Melody Beattie

Today I will tell myself that I'm lovable. Just because some people haven't been able to love me in ways that worked doesn't mean that I'm unlovable. I've had lessons to learn, and some of them have hurt deeply, but I can still love, and I still am loved. — Melody Beattie

We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we're so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that's telling us that it really wants to teach children to read. While it helps to identify with each other, we're not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things? Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have? — Melody Beattie

I don't write about things that I have the answers to or things that are very close to home. It just wouldn't be any adventure. It wouldn't have any vitality. — Ann Beattie

Recovery is not only fun, it is simple. It is not always easy, but it is simple. It is based on a premise many of us have forgotten or never learned: Each person is responsible for him- or herself. It involves learning one new behavior that we will devote ourselves to: taking care of ourselves. — Melody Beattie

Striving for excellence is a positive quality. Striving for perfection is self-defeating. — Melody Beattie

Live your life fom your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls. — Melody Beattie

Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries. — Melody Beattie

Codependents: don't trust themselves. don't trust their feelings. don't trust their decisions. don't trust other people. try to trust untrustworthy people. — Melody Beattie

Rest when you're tired. Take a break when life stales. Take time to recharge your battery. Energy isn't something you have - it's something you are. To give and give and give, to put out without taking in, depletes your battery. It drains you, runs you down. — Melody Beattie

Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. "Oh, no!" they say. "I could never do that. I love him, or her, too much. I care too much to do that. This problem or person is too important to me. I have to stay attached!" My answer to that is, "WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO?" I've got news - good news. We don't "have to." There's a better way. It's called "detachment."3 It may be scary at first, but it will ultimately work better for everyone involved. — Melody Beattie

I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer's disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn't because it was what I wanted to do. — Melody Beattie

When I lived in New York, not only did I have safety locks on the door but I had the music going, keeping the city at a distance, trying to find creative time and peace and so forth. — Ann Beattie

How sweet the words of Truth, breathed from the lips of Love. — James Beattie

You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do. I — Melody Beattie

Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part - working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest. — Melody Beattie

The admiration of another writer's work is almost in inverse proportion to similarities in style. — Ann Beattie

Start today to follow your heart.
Map out your own journey.
Have the adventure of a lifetime. — Melody Beattie

When you let go of fear and the need to control, you'll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be. — Melody Beattie

When we're surrounded by things that look impossible, making a simple choice to do something that's possible is a powerful thing to do. — Melody Beattie

What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know. — Melody Beattie

There's a secret to get through loss, pain and grief. If we're alone we can't see who we are. When we join the club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see ourselves and gain an understanding of what we're going through. Then slowly, real slowly, we learn to accept who we see in the mirror. Then you become the mirror for them; by being honest about who you are, you'll help them learn to love and accept themselves. — Melody Beattie

The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, What do I need to do to take care of myself? — Melody Beattie

What do you do when life blindfolds you and spins you around? We think it's our fault, that we're to blame, when really we should be focused on being gentle with ourselves. — Melody Beattie

The only limitations on you are the ones you've placed on yourself. — Melody Beattie

As I've said before, no wonder we think God has abandoned us; we've abandoned ourselves. — Melody Beattie

I feel more passionately about the importance of healing from our abuse issues. I feel more passionately. I've become more spontaneous, embraced my femininity, and learned new lessons along the way - about boundaries, flexibility, and owning my power. And about love. I'm learning to respect men. My relationships have deepened. Some have changed. — Melody Beattie

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.1 - II TIMOTHY 1:7 — Melody Beattie

I know when to say no and when to say yes. I take responsibility for my choices. The victim? She went somewhere else. The only one who can truly victimize me is myself, and 99 percent of the time I choose to do that no more. But I need to continue to remember the key principles: boundaries, letting go, forgiveness after feeling my feelings - not before, self-expression, loving others but loving myself, too. — Melody Beattie

Relax, you're on a journey of discovery. Let life reveal itself to you. — Melody Beattie

Today, I will wait if the way is not clear. I will trust that out of the chaos will come clarity. — Melody Beattie

Religious fanaticism is not the only clear and present danger in our world. The greatest dangers confronting human kind are still those ancient enemies of war, poverty, ignorance and disease. These create the breeding grounds in which religious extremism flourishes, because people who have been betrayed by the world's political and economic systems often seek refuge in the alternatives offered by religion.

It is often said that the most dangerous person in the world is the person with nothing to lose. The more people in our world who have nothing to lose, the greater the danger of extremism is likely to become. If we are committed to struggling against religious fanaticism, and if we really do stand in awe of human potential, then we need to cultivate a much more intelligent debate about the role religion plays in nurturing that human potential through its shaping of ideas and through the hope and meaning it gives to many millions of lives. — Tina Beattie

We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated. — Melody Beattie

We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them. — Melody Beattie

If you have done nothing to feel embarrassed about, don't feel embarrassed. I know this is a tough concept, but it can be mastered. — Melody Beattie

We don't just get our choice; we get the consequence that choice creates. — Melody Beattie

Sharing the emotional part of us with others creates closeness and intimacy. Also, being accepted by someone else for being who we are helps us accept ourselves. This is always a marvelous experience. — Melody Beattie

Today I will realize that I'm powerless over other people's expectations of me. I'll think about what I want and consider that how I respond to others' needs will affect the course of my life. I will own my own power and choose the course that's right for me. — Melody Beattie

No jealousy their dawn of love overcast, nor blasted were their wedded days with strife; each season looked delightful as it past, to the fond husband and the faithful wife. — James Beattie

Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart. — Melody Beattie

I never know what the next lesson is going to be, because we're not supposed to know
we're supposed to trust ourselves to discover it. — Melody Beattie

A man went to Istanbul, his first visit there. On his way to a business meeting, this man lost his way. He began raging at himself for getting lost, until a realization allowed him to transcend his ire. "How can I be lost? I've never been here before?" pp 104-105 — Melody Beattie