Battery Funny Quotes & Sayings

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are. — Casting Crowns

Where are you going?"
"To get my wife back."
"How do you know where to look?"
I hold my phone up. "I've got a map."
"A map?" He laughs. Laughs. "You ever feel like Admiral Ackbar with the Death Star plans?"
I look at him, brow furrowed.
"You know ... Return of the Jedi? It's a trap!"
I shake my head.
"Really? Nothing?" He scrunches up his face as if I disgust him. "How are we even friends?"
"We're not. — J.M. Darhower

If you're stuck you could always double up with me at my place. It's the size of a postage stamp, but the roses are the size of poodles. So it sort of evens out. -Austin — Katherine Applegate

The piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth. — Andres Segovia

I think my heart is defective," Jillian says. I have to force myself to smile Jan looks at me. I get the joke, but for some reason it just isn't funny right now.
"I can fix that," Jeremy says, taking Jillian's headband from her. He pulls out the battery and looks at the wires that run from it. He twists one of them a little with his fingers and reinserts the battery.
"You are so nerdy," Jillian says. I look over at her. It's not what she said, but how she said it. It almost sounded like a compliment. "Yay," Jillian says, when he flips the switch and both hearts stay lit. Jillian takes the headband from him and slips it on. She wobbles her head making them clack together. "Jeremy," she says, grinning at him. "You fixed my broken heart. — Heather Hepler

Allow yourself to be freed from the constraints of what the mind knows, believes & thinks. — Eleesha

He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them. — Josephine Myles

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead? — Steven Wright

Putting two songs together, I've always loved that trick when it works. — Paul McCartney

When I first met you, I thought you were unlike anyone else I had ever known. You made me laugh. No one but Jem has made me laugh in, good God, five years. And you did it like it was nothing, like breathing. — Cassandra Clare

I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong. — Mitch Hedberg

I'm not sure if I always wanted to be a writer, but I was always writing. — Steve Toltz

I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer. — Mitch Hedberg

Come up and be dead! Come up and be dead! — Charles Dickens

Gemma Davidson," she answered, her voice as groggy as I felt.
"Where are you?" I asked.
"Who is this?"
"Elvis."
"What time is it?"
"Hammer time?"
"Charley."
"Did you text me? Did your car break down?"
"No and no. Why are you doing this to me?" She was funny.
"Check your cell."
I heard a loud, sleepy sigh, some rustling of sheets, then, "It won't come on."
"Not at all?"
"No. What did you do to it?"
"I ate it for breakfast. Check the battery compartment."
"Where the hell is that?"
"Um, behind the battery door."
"Are you punking me?" I heard her fumbling with the phone.
"Gem, if I was going to punk you, I wouldn't simply turn off your phone. I would pour honey in your hair while you slept. Or, you know, something like that."
"That was you?" she asked, appalled. — Darynda Jones